I (20M) was never really a social person and spendy my middle school alone but I was able to make some friends in high school
However, ever since I started my Bachelors I’ve struggled to make friends.
I’ve tried joining clubs or participating in events but even when I do manage to have successful conversations I can’t manage to turn that into a friendship. Considering how the year just ended I’m not going to have a chance
I never minded being alone when I was younger but my loneliness is really starting to really affect me.
I’ve lost any internet in watching tv shows or movies or playing any games, I can’t find the motivation to study and always feel tired.
I’ve also started to constantly fantasize about being in a romantic relationship and worry about if I’ll be alone for the rest of my life despite the fact that I’ve never had any interests in relationships or even an IRL crush.
I also have a porn addiction that’s growing worse and I’m worried about its long term effects on me.
I’ve also never had any online friends before which means I don’t know where to start.
I really need help.
Where in the world are you? Some places make it easier to make friends. Here in NYC there’s a shitload of stuff happening all the time. Seattle is legendary for being unfriendly (it has a wikipedia page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seattle_Freeze ). Some suburban or rural void with a population of 200 isn’t going to do you a lot of favors.
But also you sound like clinically depressed. Go talk to a professional.
The Seattle freeze is akin to the Norwegian unfriendliness. People pretty much look past strangers as a kind of indifferent politeness, but it’s not actually cold or hostile.
If you find those activities like NYC or any kind of shared interest, Seattle opens its arms wide, be it for board games, death metal, knitting, cycling, whatever. All are welcome, well almost all.
God I love Seattle. I’m strongly against oppression but I have an exception for Nazis. Those fucks killed plenty of my cousins, I ain’t giving them a 2nd chance.