I’m an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don’t understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It’s a means to an end.
The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.
Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don’t want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.
The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don’t get it, but neither I’m not going to change how extroverts think or feel.
If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I’m going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.
I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?
What do you talk about to your coworkers?
What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don’t get offended).
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“ooh, some help for my project? Nice!”
On a more honest note, I have no idea, as I’ve not been able to do it. Work is draining.
I consider the social interactions as part of the job. I can play nice and engage when I’m on the clock, and then I go home and forget work exists. If someone is being really chatty and I need to get stuff done, I just politely say something along the lines of, need to finish this, better get back to it. But if they aren’t keeping me from getting work done, I can fake it until I go home.
Remote work. I could never get around these interactions in an office, but remotely, I can stretch out the IM replies to slow the people down. Then they generally move on to someone else to get instant gratification when other people answer them faster than I do.
I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do about that. I started WFH in 2017 after the global company I worked for moved headquarters and offered me the option to work from home.
For context, I started as an entry level CSR, with a GED and no college degree. I still don’t have a college degree but with over 15 years of experience, I make great money in a low COL area. It can be done, but it takes work. It’s certainly not for everyone.
Can you wear big headphones? Also I can always pretend to be in a zoom meeting lol
You could be upfront and say that you are an introvert and don’t enjoy talking to others at work?
“Sorry, I have to return some video tapes…”
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Be kind, rewind.
just say you’re super busy or, if that’s the case, even that you’re behind on schedule.
not sure if that works for you, but i don’t care about their feelings more than about my goals, so i just walk away if they try to tie me up in a long conversation. if they follow me into my office i just put earbuds with music on and ignore them. they should learn how much convo is acceptable.
Wait until you can get a word in edgewise, then while you’re talking (not them), check the time and say you have to get back to work.
I think there are two separate issues.
The first is that you’re introverted, and you need to learn how to communicate that to people in a reasonable way.
The second is that your workplace clearly encourages communication, and you have an issue with communicating. To some degree, you will need to adjust your expectations. You might think that your job duties are XYZ, but in reality, many of your bosses and coworkers think your job duties are XYZ as well as chatting with people around you, within reason. If you express your needs effectively, perhaps you can adjust that “within reason” to mean “less than now but not zero”.
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