So I know everyone is going to answer “yes”, but I want actual real thoughts. I just want to know where I fit in.
I’m AMAB, and present as male, at least on the surface. I’ve always felt that was wrong though. But I don’t necessarily think I’m a woman. I wish I was more feminine. And recently I started full body laser hair removal, and I have pretty long hair, and currently have my toe nails painted. But I also have a beard, and otherwise present totally as cis.
Am I “trans”? I don’t feel “cis”, but I feel like calling myself trans just isn’t accurate and is inappropriate. Is there any other option?
And a complicating factor is that I’m basically only attracted to female presenting people. I see a lot of mtf trans people posting online “t4t”. Would other trans people consider me “trans”?
If you feel like youre a guy, then you’re not trans, you’re probably more like a femboy or something in that range of the spectrum
If you feel like you’re a woman (which seems to not be the case, but its here for completeness) then you are trans, and you’re trans enough!
If you don’t feel like you’re a man, and you like to present yourself and exist somewhere between the two sides of the spectrum, there’s a gigantic umbrella of non-binary gender identities that you may fall under. If this is the case, then whether you’re trans or not is totally up to you. You’re not technically the gender you were assigned at birth, so the trans label is valid for you, but at the same time it’s not a label you have to accept and if you don’t feel comfortable being labelled trans, you don’t have to be. In this scenario, whether the “t4t” thing would include you is entirely up to what your experience of gender is like. The majority of people looking for “t4t” are doing so because the shared experience of being trans provides a safe space, or a safe starting point of understanding and stuff like that.
The conversation you’re having here, and no doubt your internal monologue, is a very common part of the trans experience. When I was in a similar space to you, i considered myself nonbinary and left it at that, no deeper consideration of labels within the umbrella term. I adopted they/them pronouns and expressed myself however felt comfortable on the day. I asked similar questions to my trans friends about transness and felt like i was almost an impostor trans. Our pathways may diverge at this point, because i ended up figuring out that i am actually a transgender woman. All this to say, you’re indulging in the trans experience even if you don’t necessarily adopt the label. If you feel like you can provide a safe space for a girl who might have some stubble from time to time, or maybe male pattern baldness, or perhaps a cock, then t4t might be totally applicable for you!
As for attraction, loads of trans girls are lesbian or bi or pan or straight or ace or whatever else. Makes no difference to your transness. Finding a term that describes your sexuality can be more complicated if you’re nonbinary or gender nonconforming, because you’re sure as hell not straight (What does that even mean), but the words exist if you do find yourself feeling like you’re in that part of the spectrum.
Good luck, have fun exploring your gender, and remember that trans girls need head pats 4-5 times a day as part of proper care.