So I know everyone is going to answer “yes”, but I want actual real thoughts. I just want to know where I fit in.

I’m AMAB, and present as male, at least on the surface. I’ve always felt that was wrong though. But I don’t necessarily think I’m a woman. I wish I was more feminine. And recently I started full body laser hair removal, and I have pretty long hair, and currently have my toe nails painted. But I also have a beard, and otherwise present totally as cis.

Am I “trans”? I don’t feel “cis”, but I feel like calling myself trans just isn’t accurate and is inappropriate. Is there any other option?

And a complicating factor is that I’m basically only attracted to female presenting people. I see a lot of mtf trans people posting online “t4t”. Would other trans people consider me “trans”?

  • MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz
    11·
    5 months ago

    I used to have some similar introspective thoughts.

    Your conclusions will certainly differ from mine, but maybe you’ll identify with some of my thoughts. You definitely lean further away from “male” than I do, but here’s what I landed on:

    I’m male, I’ve never been uncomfortable with that (not saying YOU shouldn’t be if you are). Rather, my hurdles took the form of other people reacting adversely when I do or say something “girly”.

    My mom loves to recount the fact that I wanted to wear skirts as a kid, and I was bullied for being too “gay” in middle school.

    At some point though I just kinda stopped caring about people reacting that way. I’m me, I’m a guy, and maybe that comes with an asterisk. Who cares?

    I never felt that “boy” was incorrect. Rather, I just always knew that it didn’t have to mean whatever it meant to everyone else. Being told that my being male is incompatible with certain aspects of me always confused me. Because I’m making it work, aren’t I?

    If someone has to ask (with me they really don’t, my appearance is not at all ambiguous), I tell them I’m a straight guy. It’s accurate in most of the ways that matter to me, and to anyone who might be asking.

    But that in no way locks me into adhering to the expectations of what other people think that means.