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Please be satire.
I’m so sad that I’m even having to question that it’s not.
No one is this much of a chode gargler… Surely…
That’s a blue tick.
Spoon!
Hello chum!
Lucky DUCKS!
If only.
Oh no
When you repress your homosexuality, it sure does come out in weird ways. /S. Or not.
Rereads Tesla’s mission statement.
“Accelerating the world’s transition to sustainable energy.”
Stares at 3 ton lump of stainless steel parked in driveway.
As a machinist and welder, I would strongly prefer an actual 6000 lb lump of stainless over a cybertruck. I can actually use stainless steel to make things.
I’ve never worked with stainless, but I hear that it’s a pain in the ass. And then, if you have no coating on it, it still stains from touching all sorts of shit.
It’s called stainLESS, not stainFREE. The Delorean came with instructions on how to clean it so it didn’t rust.
The -less suffix means “without” in English.
Yep. Wireless generally means “without wires” for example.
> look inside
Oh I’m sorry, you thought you could connect to your network without a cable? This is not wirefree. Now take this network cable with two pins instead of eight and enjoy your wireless technology.
Oh so clever, I never knew there was a cable on the other side of the WiFi connection! /s
Could you count the number of stains and then refer to it as stainfewer steel.
Some would say yes. I, on the other hand, would say “hell yes.”
It depends on the grade of stainless actually. I’ve never run into “proprietary 30X stainless” but I have plenty of experience with 304, 308, 309, and 316. 309 can rust on you, but I’ve never seen 316 rust outside of ludicrously corrosive environments.
I have what’s known in the industry as “magic piss fingers”. What that means is that I am a salty, sweaty man who can rust just about anything rustable simply by touching it with my bare hand. That being said, I haven’t managed to get a single speck of rust on my welded 316 hammer in 12 years of using it.
Yup. I’ve seen rust finger prints left on freshly machined steel.
What makes 316 more corrosion resistant, more chromium?
Nickel. It provides both corrosion resistance and increased ductility which makes the material more likely to bend before breaking. I like using it to weld onto busted taps to try to back them out because the weld will flex a little bit instead of just snapping off.
magic piss fingers
You got that in your grinder bio?
Owned by a man that is trying to elect Donald Trump, who is famously opposed to renewable energy.
Glencore rubs hands together eagerly
“the mission” being what, exactly? make a rich jerkoff richer, so he can lie to you about exciting inventions that never come to light?
The copium is strong
Let’s not forget everyone is already paying for “the mission” through tax payer subsidies.
Something something mars.
Loyalty to Tesla what the actual fuck? Don’t be loyal to a brand ever.
I guarantee the actual thought process is “Musk supports Trump, and you should also be supporting Trump, so support Musk even more by deepthroating the upsell.”
I had the displeasure of seeing one of these contraptions in person for the first time recently. Pictures do not adequately convey just how ugly these abominations are.
I live in a major city in America so sadly see them daily… I’d say around 70% have a custom vinyl wrap or are painted instead of being left stainless steel tho.
One store near my work is a retro games shop, they bought one and wrapped it in their colors/logo and I think it’s funny since my wife often says the truck looks like Laura Croft’s tits
Your wife is brilliant.
She certainly is
I saw one for the first time on the road today. The thing made me bust out laughing. It looks absurd.
I live in California and see maybe 20 every day. It never gets old laughing at them. Had a customer yesterday who owned one as well as a model s. The S was in his garage but not his toy truck. He was a douche so I fucked with him.
“How do you like your truck?”
“Love it, it’s so sick bro”
“How come you don’t park it in your garage with your car? Will it not fit?”
“No, it just barely fits, but I like having it outside so people see it.”
“Aren’t you worried about people fucking with it or it rusting? Heard they rust easily”
“Where did you hear that? This baby is stainless steel!”
“Literally everywhere on the internet, that’s why so many people get it wrapped apparently. Also, have you taken it in for any of the recalls?”
“It hasn’t had any recalls bro, this thing is perfect”
“Hmm. I heard it had like 5 recalls already, you should look into it.”
“That’s just haters taking shit dude it isn’t true.”
“Yeah, you’re prolly right. This thing gets a lot of hate from like everyone for being ridiculous and impractical, but Elon musk made it so it must be awesome.”
“Bro literally invented spaceships dude he’s a legit genius.”
“Pretty sure he didn’t invent them. He just owns the company.”
He proceeded to explain that he may not have made the first one but he’ll be the first to get man to Mars and spaceships weren’t cool until he made them that way. He used the truck as evidence of his genius and how he will be humanities savior. I was fucking speechless honestly. The only thing genius about this is he cornered the fucking enormous douchebag market so well they gaslight themselves into believing that we’re all jealous and or too poor to understand. I spray for bugs for a living. This guy got water sprayed on his property and I don’t feel even remotely bad about it.
Spraying water seems too tame. Next time spray horny bug pheromones so they multiply like rabbits!
I didn’t realize how big they were until one of my kids ran over to “the fortnite truck”. Massive, ugly, and expensive.
Oh yeah. And not just big. Like big in a this truck has no usable space kind of big and long. So long.
And yet they’re much smaller than most of the Ford trucks out there.
I just realized. It has size of a bus and capacity of a car.
It also has a poly count lower than most people’s shoe size.
So this century’s civilian hummer.
There are at least 4 different ones around where I live. I know, because they are all wrapped in different colors. One unwraped, one blue, one red, one white, and one black. Its astounding that many people bought it out around here
Even after reading this the Cybertruck is still the dumbest thing in this photo.
Imo, exploiting dumb people is pretty smart! Unethical but clever
Yeah, it takes a fucking GENIUS to figure that out. /s 🙄
“I’m leaving, Jeremy.”
“OK but before you go can you take one more picture of me with the Tesla® Cybertruck™? I don’t think I looked sad enough in the last one about all those dollars that people aren’t giving to Elon.”
This is 100% engagement bait.
With how some of those Muskrats are, I’m honestly not sure about that.
As beautifully as the name fits, I feel bad for the actual muskrats of our creeks and marshes.
Everytime I see a cybertruck, It makes me think of the “Fighting Polygon Team” from Super Smash Brothers N64. Each polygon character is a essentially a weaker knockoff of an actual character from the game. I haven’t played that game in years but I seem to remember it was my least favorite level from single player mode.
This is cult follower speaking patterns.
All of these people from Muskrats to Trumpers are all looking for simple answers and solutions to how fucked up our world is from whoever will give it to them.
They want to be in a cult ever if they don’t realize it because then they have an authority to make all the decisions for them
Daddy issues. All of them. Hell, Trump and Musk both have had terrible fathers. Much more then the regular “elite” shitheel.
Sins of the father is a powerful literary theme for a reason, daddy issues have cause a significant amount of damage to the world
Your comment is selfish, really. How does this comment support our mission to achieve global market domination? You need to sleep in the basement until your reprogramming session is complete. Enlightenment is earned.
Holy shit, how pathetic can you be?
It’s hard to admit you’re wrong when you’re in a cult.
Guess it’s good he didn’t do it a second time
“Tesla engineer Wes Morrill responded to the finger-crush video on X on Thursday with some patiently worded advice for Judkins. He wrote that if you repeatedly try to close the frunk, the software will apply more closing force, assuming “you, as the human” knows what you’re doing. (Key word: assume.)”
This could make a text book example for edge cases.
That’s the best way of calling someone a dumbass without saying it outright I think I’ve ever seen.
…Wow, what a moron.
That some Yakusa shit
Of course he’s from Florida
C
ybertruck.Cybertruckold
see…
THIS is why people say you’re in a cult.
Bro that’s HERESY against Lord Elon!
I refuse to believe this is real.
Mostly for self protection.
Is this the legendary free market when you must buy cybertruck or mElon will be sad?
Have to feed melon husk more money else he will go hungry.
