• davidagain@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Dude, I don’t mean to boast, but honestly, I think my dick is just WAY too big. Like, I would DESTROY that grape instantly if I tried. It’s not just a trick of the camera angle, it just is that big. Honestly, I don’t even need to get out a measuring tape to tell you that even with a massive grape, it’s just not going to fit.

        • Olgratin_Magmatoe@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          You’re not being creative enough. You could have a bowl/cup of grapes, and use that. Or maybe alternatively you could blend/mash them up, let them dry out a bit to stiffen up, then use that.

          • davidagain@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            I find that when you sign up for lemmy, you very much underestimate the extent to which the community is going to be invested in you sticking your dick in grape.

            It’s not a complaint, really, and it feels supportive, in a way, but it’s definitely not what I was expecting. I mean, the whole area of soft fruit isn’t really a theme I was considering exploring in any kind of sexual way, if you can appreciate where I’m coming from.

            I take your point about the possibility but I’m still drawing a bit of a blank in the motivation department, if I’m honest.

            The comment about grape seeds isn’t making making me any more enthusiastic, I can tell you. No offence meant.

        • davidagain@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Sounds painful. Like gallstones, but backwards. On the plus side, probably less scratchy. On the minus side, maybe more citric acid.

      • davidagain@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        The grapes? I can never tell when a grape wants some action. My whole life, I’ve missed every single signal. Well, that, or the grapes just don’t find me attractive, like, EVER.

      • davidagain@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        I just can’t see it ever happening.

        I don’t mean any disrespect, and I don’t want to kink shame, but that kinda thing is just not my bag, baby.