Usury (lending money for interest) is a sin.
Make Christianity socialist again!
Advocacy for adulterers/sex workers/rape victims.
Let those amongst you without sin cast the first stone.
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Love thy neighbor (ie, members of other ethnic and religious groups) as yourself.
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Not ostracizing the disabled, the crippled, the diseased.
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Do not pursue ostentacious wealth, give to the needy.
Two things for sure:
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Mathew 7:12 “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” That really should sum up Christianity.
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Jesus throwing the merchants out of the temple, because really religion and making money should never go hand in hand.
Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.
Instructions unclear. Please send bail money.
- Mathew 7:12 “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.
Matthew gave reacharound then?
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When I was a kid, I couldn’t help but intrinsically understand that the bible is not some literal document, but a collection of fables with metaphors for life. Because way back then, without a civilized society, you needed a bit of fire and brimstone to help keep would-be evil-doers at bay.
The only stuff I ever enjoyed, and still carry to this day, were the New Testament teachings of Christ. Love thy neighbor, feed the hungry, shelter the poor, care for the sick, welcome the immigrant.
Oddly enough, along with the current pope, those seem to be the only lessons that most modern day “christians” have done away with. They’ll use electron microscopy to read between the lines to demonize gay people, but when their Lord and Savior explicitly says “it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven,” all of a sudden they’re stricken blind deaf and dumb.
I follow the teachings of the brown socialist who spent his time caring for and conversing with the lowest on the social ladder. The man who overturned the money lenders carts in the street. I dunno who the fuck everyone else is following, but it ain’t him.
“it’s not literal” could be you realising it doesn’t make sense, in a context where you’re supposed to believe in it.
What parts people take literally seems to vary a lot. I guess it allows everyone to make it say what they want it to say
“the good parts” of Christianity would be an A4 at most, not a book.
The time Jesus, as a child, went into a church to disrupt the loan sharks operating out of it.
Methuselah fighting God, putting him in a headlock, and then demanding to be blessed.
He did not flail the money changers at the temple as a child, he did that as an adult, roughly a week or two before he was crucified.
As a child, he began teaching the scriptures outside of the temple, and shocked the rabbis with his knowledge of scripture.
…random thought chain:
What if Jesus simply was on spectrum and he hyoerfixated on the scriptures but then got pressured by family who saw as a “gifted” child into the whole belief he’s a god?
This is actually not implausible at all, that is fairly close to how a lot of more modern, or well documented cults develop… and Jesus was far from the only roaming preacher in the Levant, +/- roughly 150 years of his life.
Basically, the scholarly, academic consensus is that Jesus probably was a real person, probably did do and say some of the things recorded in the what later became the New Testament.
A huge reason why this is the general consensus is that there exists a whole bunch of evidence of whole bunch of other, similar, small sects/cults based around a singular, apocalyptic, charismatic preacher, between roughly 200 BC and 100 AD, in or around Palestine.
Also, if you want some extreme hilarity, I present to you the apocryphal, non canonical, Infancy Gospel of Thomas.
https://www.gospels.net/infancythomas
Jesus is basically a magical 5 year old child with superpowers, who struggles to use them responsibly.
Jesus makes living sparrows by molding clay.
Upon being chastised for doing this by another child, Jesus curses this other kid, who withers and dies on the spot.
Another random person jostles Jesus, who curses him, and this guy also dies on the spot, just falls dead.
He curses some more people and they all become blind.
After all this, Joseph takes Jesus to a teacher, to be tutored and taught restraint, and Jesus basically says the teacher isn’t shit, to his face.
The teacher then struggles to teach Jesus how to read, despairs, begs Joseph to take him away, while Jesus is still shit talking him…
Yeah. There are a whole lot of extremely wild non canonical gospels and other early Christian texts, but the Infancy Gospel basically is an AuDHD child Jesus being a right(eous) little shit, lol.
The whole healing people for free stuff isn’t bad, either
What’re you a commuist
Judge not least ye be judged.
the part where is cool to wear ropes and hang out with prostitutes
I assume you meant “robes”?
Song of Solomon == Hidden Shibarri manual
did he fucking stutter?
The tale of the Children who made fun of a bald guy and were therefore eaten by Bears.
Moral of the story: be body positive or your body will be eaten.
Yeah, it is one of the better Tales :D
As a theology nerd:
All the parts that show that The Path of Christ is sacrificing oneself for the freedom of the “lesser”.
Which I’d say is most of the Bible, much of the early Fathers’ writings, a lot from Martin Luther (I know he also has some really evil stuff, leave those out), most of Bonhoeffer’s, a lot of C. S. Lewis, and certainly a lot more im forgetting.Definitely some of the stories that have a good moral to them, specifically as told by 90s VeggieTales.
• Dave facing off against the giant pickle, showing little people can do big things too. Though, I wouldn’t recommend fighting someone much bigger than you, so half a gold start taken away for that.
• Definitely the fib alien from Larry Boy, where telling the truth instead of lying saves the day.
On a side note, absolutely LOVE the early Larry Boy so much more than any other Larry Boy versions since he was a superhero who was useless and was a side character given the spotlight since he never was needed. Instead, it was always someone else more relevant to the problem solving it through using the lesson of the episode.
• The episode where Jimmy and Jerry Gourd save the U.S.S. Applepies from a giant popcorn meteor and ends with a song about being friends with people who are different, despite their differences, leading to Junior inviting someone who probably just moved in from another country to his birthday party.
But definitely not putting the Rack, Shack, and Benny episode into the good parts because that episode unnerves me to this day. Three workers at a chocolate factory get sent into an incinerator and come out unscathed thanks to the miracle of plot arm… I mean God not wanting his loyal followers to die before their time and sending probably Veggie Jesus to save them from burning to death. How could that not make you feel uncomfortable just by the fact they were being thrown into the incinerator in the first place alone?
I definitely think the man behind VeggieTales did more for Christianity in the end of the 20th century than anyone else as he made a show that Christians and non-Christians alike could agree on, which is seemingly impossible when it comes to Christian shows aimed towards children.
The creator of Veggie Tales is an odd duck. He has many good, open-minded positions, but he has just as many backwards ones, like when he complained of rising LGBT representation in children’s shows.
How do straight people always fail to realize that straight representation is the default so no one questions when children’s shows have boys and girls holding hands or kissing, even though it’s daily “shoving their straight sexuality down children’s throats.”
Anyway, I agree with this take, VeggieTales is probably the most positive, least offensive, and least egregious modern interpretations of Christianity you can find.
The psychological value of some acts of forgiveness (not all, and forgiveness is not the same as trust).
All the stuff that got it banned from schools trying to ban other books.
Ezekiel 23:20