Ha, this one is easy!

To hit the hotel, he first needs to travel 1/2 of the distance. But before that, he needs to travel 1/2 of the 1/2 of the distance. There’s infinitely many halves, meaning he never reaches his destination!

Checkmate, motion!

one must imagine sissy

No, because all these unrealistic thought experiments don’t capture the full nuance of our uncertain reality. He’s stuck in a hell that I wouldn’t wish on anyone

The Boulder looks pretty happy

Ah yes, the classic Grand Ship of Sissyphus Problem.

This has stumped philosophers since the dawn of the cretaceous.