My girlfriend says she doesn’t like that I don’t work and don’t do anything to “develop myself”. I have passive income that’s more than enough for us to live rather comfortably in the city I live in. I pretty much support her at the moment, as well as myself, but she says she doesn’t want to get a job because I don’t have one, and that annoys her that I’ll be able to sit at home and do what I want or just be busy with my hobbies.
I told her that I’m not forcing her to work, and even if she does work, she would only have to work like 2 days a week, not even a lot, but she says that it would bug her that I’m just sitting at home.
I get that she has the right to want someone who has ambition, but I also have the right to just live on what I have.
I told her that I’m willing to cook and clean and do most of the house work, but she says that she can do all of that by herself.
I’m assuming this is a Nobody Is the asshole situation?
Whatever your passive income situation is, will it carry you through retirement with essentially no risk? If not, YTA. Get a job. Have a plan for the future that won’t bite you in the ass. And keep in mind large resume gaps really can be a red flag if things go south. (Whether they should or not is another issue - that’s the hand we’re dealt)
If you are covered there… I think NAH? But also maybe YTA or ESH? The concept of not having to work at (I’m assuming you are) a relatively young age is pretty rare and the concept is hard to grasp. If you’ve got things covered, cool, but I can also understand how she might feel a bit of an unfair imbalance, kinda like how most people feel about the billionaire class. Whether that means you should work… I’m not sure.
But here’s a big thing to consider: you’re not married. Even if you were, her being dependent on your passive income makes her all the more dependent on you. If your relationship comes to an end (which is always a possibility) she will need to make a living of her own. Problem is, she will have lost time to build up her own savings, experience, professional networking, etc while doing nothing and be at a huge disadvantage compared to others at her age.
We are engaged and she knew that I didn’t work 2 years ago when we started dating. I give her around 1/4 of the local salary each month to spend on herself and cover rent, food, etc etc.
My annuity is for life. As long as the dollar doesn’t crash (which it could), I’m set for life. If the dollar crashes - well she’ll have to go live with her parents for a bit while I figure everything out with getting a job (which I am in no way against doing if I need to.)
I would take that 1/4 you give her and put it in a rainy day investment fund and she can either work, or you go seperate ways. Sounds like you pay all the other bills already anyways, so that’s just her disposable money. Maybe if she had a job she wouldn’t have so much spare time to pick your life apart and complain.