Now that I’m in my thirties I no longer have to (can) jump

Warning? How about a beacon of hope!

Uh-oh, time to kill 15,000 more civilians

Dexif

She was a fucking DA, ain’t nobody wanna debate with her, especially a half brained real-estate broker

I was laid off several several months ago, am kinda glad now

Ah fuck, that’s more terrifying than I’d imagined!

I’m more concerned about the indestructible glockroach!

Neon lights, noble prize, when the mirror speaks, the reflection lies

Yea, been doing this for the last 20 years, we must be close

How many windows updates have bricked PC’s over the years?

Wait, polls were useful before?

Let’s make Bill Nye the head if the EPA while we’re at it!

Remindes me of how the patent for the first fire hydrant was destroyed in a fire

Proof that Michigan is the Florida for the north!

Neon lights, noble prize, when the mirror speaks, the reflection lies

We can all just eat cake!

“Well I got hurt too”

-Trump… probably

Especially in my city, whoever timed our traffic lights must have been drunk.