I know it’s not relevant to this, but wow she is turning into the same ghoulish blonde undead looking person as those who tread this path before her. She has aged 10 years in 1 year. The stress of all that lying is showing.

Gillian like Gil in Gilbert and the Gill of a fish not Jill like, well, I honestly still don’t know why it’s spelled Gillian but pronounced Jillian.

Zero. I have never gotten back together with anyone I’ve broken up with. LTR? Had one 25 year run, one split. Now in a relationship that has so far lasted 12 years I think? Yes we are happy.

Well I am on the other side of this, I feel so fat even though objectively not overweight at all (BMI of 22, and pretty lean) because I was underweight a long time so in a relative sense I feel fat. I also feel better than I ever did when underweight, physically, and my bone mass is a little better (which is supposed to be impossible to achieve at my age) and that pisses me off, I want my healthiest weight to be the size I like better.

I don’t think it’s good for you to enable them in losing weight, no. Unless you are 100% sure they are not falling into disordered eating. It’s their body, you can’t control that but it’s fine not to support or help them with it.

As someone prone to eating disorders - the suggestion to work out is solid. I find it much better to focus on athletic goals and just let form follow function. It’s good to be able to feel good about what my body can do.

My ex got so mad because down here the boy name Don and the girl name Dawn sound about the same. He would yell no it’s not it’s DAAHN and DWAWN! But we don’t have that nasal Midwestern thing, it’s just Don and Daun.

More years usually = more healthy years, that’s how you end up with more years. Chronic disease wears bodies out faster, not more slowly. I’d rather get it over later, and yes with something quick.

Sure there will come a time when I am uncomfortable every day but at near 60 still do yoga, eat well, sex every day, nothing hurts, very good quality of life. Didn’t expect it but I have it for now.

Having an Inner Critic is normal, but you seem to have fed it, until you believe it is true. It’s not. I hope your therapy does help.

You know what’s funny? I have the body dysmorphia, like still cannot see myself as having a good body, and usually mirror or photo just confirms this. But one time my husband took a picture when I was just in underwear, so nearly naked, and I looked so good, it’s like somehow he captured how he sees me. And we have one flattering mirror in the house, I thought it was like a fun house slimming mirror, asked my kids and they were like, no, that is how you look.

So if you have someone you can trust to bounce things off, that can really help, occasionally others can see past your insecurities and give a clearer view.

What sort of whims are we talking here? The way you word this it answers itself. The needs of everyone are equal, rights apply to all. If we can’t protect “the few” we are all at risk.

But if you mean whims like every time I go to the beach someone doesn’t have food for a week, no, obviously I wouldn’t go to the beach until that was fixed.

By the first evening by 9pm, when they didn’t get dinner.

I would take that “we don’t care” as an invitation to leave and start a new life with people who do care. Nobody should say that out loud, what assholes, but since they don’t need you, you are free.

My kid got a worksheet on the long A sound. She got through most of them but was stumped on the “lobster”. I looked at it - Lobster, Crawfish, neither of those have a long A sound, what the heck?

Hours later it occurs to me.

OH, Craaay-fish? Who in the world calls them that? Nobody here. Where was this printed?

Migraine. I’ve broken bones, had unmedicated childbirth, nothing has ever hurt as much or as disgustingly as a migraine.

Other than that, any pain to do with fingernails or toenails sqiucks me out, I would cave under torture.

Is this for sidewalk or road? Road speed limit should be same as cars. On the road I try to go faster to be safer. If there are good bike paths, whatever the non-e-bike speed limit is, e-bike same. I don’t think bikes belong on the sidewalk in NYC, but here when I am on a sidewalk I think about 17mph is the top speed so yeah 15 seems reasonable.

I was around for that time, and yes in many ways the world is better now, it’s a mixed bag but:

My kids were not beat up in school for being queer.

The bay is much cleaner (though that is going in the wrong direction)

Solar power has come down in cost so much that there is hope for the clean energy transition to accelerate.

I was literally paid less than the men doing the same job I was doing, openly, in the early 1990s. And there was smoking in offices.

Violent crime is much less prevalent than it was back then. My kids don’t have to be as careful or afraid as I was.

Overall - I don’t think it is useful to be nostalgic, there are enough changes in a positive direction, sure we had more hope for the future in the 1990s but the reason we needed it was because things were kinda shitty.

I pay but it’s mostly for music streaming, we use the heck out of that, and streaming is a choose your poison thing. Google Play Music was the best streaming app ever built, YouTube music not as good but still ahead of Spotify for what we listen to. The ad free YouTube is a side effect.

Yeah I rotate everything, usually would put them in the front garden since they are showy, this year in the veg garden because it’s so hot in the summer they give some shade to the rest of the stuff. It’s a mess right now, the butternut squash got attacked so bad I think it has to be removed in a plastic bag. And something is attacking the sprawling watermelon plants too, but those seem to be surviving.

It’s infantilizing. I would never treat a grown man that way, nor would I live with a guy who expected to be ‘taken care of’ to that extent. It implies a lack of trust in your ability to take care of yourself. I want a partner, not another child to take care of!

You are average in this, I would say.

What the heck? How did you jump from her dressing the way she wants, to wanting to have sex with someone 60 years younger?

My sister in law said she tried to dress “appropriately for her age” and I don’t. I told her I try to dress appropriately for my body type and style.

What’s the use of living 80 years if you can’t at least wear what you please? And BTW, how do you feel about Dolly Parton then?

I hope you live to 100, OP.

Not usually, no.

I can agree with this. Like entering your dog in a dog show. I did want my kids in sport or dance as part of their education but told them if I ever gave criticism, to tell me to do the sport my own damn self. So they did their stuff as their hobbies, and I did my own art/sport stuff and kept out of theirs.

My husband laughed at me for pulling weeds and throwing them in the yard, but they ARE the “lawn”, I don’t care if they grow out there, just want to advantage the flowers and food plants in the defined spaces.