Oh no. The Fish are escaping containment again.

Everyone, prepare yourselves. Content is coming.

And only getting worse. There was a warning put out right as summer officially started that it was going to get “oppressively hot” fast. It’s only fucking June. I’m kinda scared what August, our usual month of heat spikes, is going to bring.

Y’know what? Fuck yes. I would devour that in a fucking night. That is the kind of glorious trash I go possom over. The Duke and every Nazis nightmare taking on fascist aliens, dropping one-liners and big guns.

Fuck even trying to have a plot. That would work so amazingly well as a monster of the week. Have B.J call out Duke on his shit as someone who can actually go toe to toe with that overinflated ego.

I have cats just under a year old, this is their first summer with eyes open. We’ve had a few fireflies get into the house, and watching them go nuts once they notice this weird flashing bug has been the highlight of my night lately. All 5 of them running in a little pack, eyes wide. Every time they light up, all the cats stop and just stare. It blows their little minds, and I love it.

It was either discovered involving someone named Poland, or the Polish need to get explaining.

Very happy to help! Dyeing hair is a beautiful form of self-expression, and I’m happy to encourage it any way I can. :3

Isn’t that the one where Joey ends up sent into a kind of purgatory and chased by the manifestation of death?

That was probably originally Hell, wasn’t it? They loved sending people straight to Hell in that series. Yami has no chill. You jaywalked? Children’s card game, going to Hell.

THINGS YOU NEED: Dye(obviously), hair foils, ash, water, bowls, lightener/bleach and developer, latex gloves or grocery bags, more grocery bags to put over your armpits, a blow dryer, extra hands if possible.

First, take your ash, put it in a bowl, add water slowly and mix until a paste. Any ash works, cigarette, wood, it doesn’t matter. You just want abrasive carbon to help remove any dye from the skin. You will get dye on your skin.

ALWAYS USE HAND PROTECTION WHEN HANDLING BLEACH, DEVELOPER, AND DYE!

If you have dark hair, you need to strip the pigment out. Whatever bleach and developer you get will have instructions, follow them exactly. Higher level bleachs means more pigment removal. Just leave some dark hair at the base, the bleach can irritate and leave blochy spots on sensitive areas.

After that, rinse it all out and let dry in a warm room. You’re gonna get hot during all this, but heat opens the hair follicles and leads to the best pigment absorbtion.

Separate the hair into blocks(thin collections of hair), and saturate each block with dye. After you do one block, wrap it in the foil and pinch closed around all sides. Do this until you have all the hairs and look like you have giant bits of Christmas tinsel hanging from under your arms.

Loop the grocery bags around your shoulders, covering the armpit hair. Start blowing the hair dryer on the covered hair and get it hot. Once you got it as hot as you can handle, do your best to seal the bags around the hair. You want to trap as much heat as possible.

Let sit, with occasional reheating as needed, for a minimum 30 minutes. I like to do at least an hour, closer to two, if possible, at home for best pigment intake.

Once you’ve let your pigment sit, carefully remove and dispose of the bags and foils then take a shower. Rinse the hair in as cold of water as you can handle. Cold closes the follicles, trapping the pigment. You will want to use cold water every time after if you’re looking to maintain pigment levels.

Use ash paste to clean up any leftover dye on the skin around the area.

Manic Panic is a semi-permanent dye, so it washes out in about 3 to 6 months, depending on how well you take care of it. If you want to get it out quicker, cheap shampoo has harsher salts that will help alongside hot water. Don’t rebleach unless it has been at least 3 months, you will fry your hair if you do it too often.

I’m sorry I don’t have links, and I hope this helps at all. If you have questions, or need a better explanation on something, I will absolutely do my best to clear things up as much as possible!

If you’re still not feeling super comfortable, look for local trade school or cosmetology focused school! They exist, and trust me, those students love an experiment to practice on!

Sorry for not having any links on hand. I spent almost 10 years with a trained cosmetologist who often went “You have hands, help me do this, I’ll explain as we work”.

He wouldn’t let a person with a skateboard through.

Fuck Saint Peter.

That’d work…

In a very strange reboot of Johnny Bravo, who was a much more positive parody of characters like Duke Nukem. Duke is written as the stereotype who’d bag 'em, tag 'em, and jet to the next bed.

And Duke has kinda proven that. 3D has had multiple ports, some better than others, but barely anyone talks about the 2D GBA titles, and Forever will forever be a rotting flop.

The last big commercial success was at an end of an era, at best becoming an archaic parody of a branch of the industry no longer really made, at worst an uncomfortable artifact of a bygone era of entertainment.

I really need to just sit down and watch that. I keep seeing either “It’s insane, but absolutely great” or “It’s absolute dogshit”, and that’s the kinda shit I normally dig.

If they can turn something out with Duke that feels like Duke, I’m down, I’ll support it. He just feels like the most out of left field character to bring back, especially as something outside of a game.

A movie from '93. Which, I believe, influenced what is probably the most recognizable Duke outing, Duke 3D.

That’s kinda part of the point I’m making. Duke is a product of that time, of shallow action flicks with beefy dudes and solid one-liners, often with a little sexism tossed in for spice.

I’d argue both DMC and Castlevania has more depth than Duke. While DMC can be summed down to “Cocky man kicks ass”, there’s been greater depths explored with a lot of the cast. Not an ocean, of course, but there’s more to the characters than mere face value.

Castlevania has a wide cast of characters who, while not always presented in the most complex manner, have implied histories and personalities that can be built upon. There’s enough skeleton to support some good muscle.

Duke has the depth of a petri dish. He’s the embodiment of “What You See Is What You Get”.

Like I said elsewhere, a single movie in his peak, or a low budget tongue-in-cheek throwback, I could get behind.

I just don’t see the potential of a Duke series, or even a film getting beyond cult classic status among a select few.

In the actual time of Duke’s peak, absolutely. Hell, with a clever writer and director team, I would support a low-budget tongue-in-cheek flick.

But Duke is heavily a product of the times. I just can’t see a full take that wouldn’t rip out what makes him iconic, but equally terrible, as a character.

I have wanted to see him interact with Sal in some capacity for the longest time. I feel like there could be at least some “a better you” gags on Duke.

As someone who has a giant soft spot in her heart for Duke, what story is there to tell?

Duke Nukem is a simple man. He’s here to fuck up alien bastards(for taking the babes, crashing his ride, generally existing), save attractive women, and maybe remember to pick up that pack of gum on his way home.

He’s not really even a “character”, he’s a walking embodiment of 80s and 90s machismo with big guns and less plot than the typical comic book of the time. He’s a machine built for one-liners. He’s a never-ending thoughtless action flick you love because it takes so little actual thought to enjoy.

I got caught in-between. While I am now aligned with the opposite gender, I equally have days where I identify as completely without gender.

It might have also come with a change of species? Or they’re just narcissistic, because I’m Genderfae. I will admit, on the genderless blob androgynous days, I do have insatiable cravings for honeyed milk and bread, and begin planning on how to swap any children I see with one of our own…

I don’t think I can go more insane without jumping into super-sanity, so I’m down.

What do I get for letting you in? Word it in a clear, even trade.

I ain’t owing a Fae shit, they already took my gender for a slice of delicious cake.