I haven’t made new pieces yet, but I’ve had similar thoughts. I started with mending and altering current pieces, both masc and femme clothes, to fit my body better. That’s helped with learning differences between their construction.

I’d been out of doing that for a while but meaning to get back into it, now that I’m done with moving stress and seem to be at my new baseline fat distribution post being on progesterone.

If I find any resources in returning to that, I’ll try to post. Would love to see what others have come across.

Specifically, I would love to make/find boy shorts style underwear with just enough room to fit myself comfortably without being too bulgy. (I prefer to not tuck)

Love how he is often able to push on the way autism is viewed.

I live my life mired in nuance. So much is in the realm of “not enough data to reach a conclusion” and so many people act as though it’s a matter of fact. And yet my thinking is considered wrong for not accepting extrapolations of incomplete data that feels unjustified by “this is how it works”.

Much like in this example: yes the DSM states black and white thinking is a problem for autistic people, while also being biased to not diagnosing people that lack this issue.

Feels ironic that the mental health field often gets hung up treating people as a member of category rather than individuals with room to be exceptional from the accepted mode of thinking for the category.

There are a couple things in your post that gives me pause. It sounds like you’re having a pretty tough time with how you feel about yourself. You say you recognize that it’s probably good to have the sobering effects but are still seeking use without that constraint.

Like mentioned by someone else, it may be a good idea to look at what the trip is telling you.

You might consider that working on why it is you feel that way could be the best way to remove it from your experience.

I think it’s entirely likely to become more introspective about your behavior on a trip. You might consider what “egotistical” even means and if the traits you see in yourself are worth changing. Thinking of one’s self positively is not inherently wrong.

Completely understand this. Have been here myself.

I personally struggled identifying with the trans label until I was on HRT for 3 months and realized that I couldn’t go back to how my brain worked without estrogen. And I fully support that medical transition is not necessary to be trans. So I know it’s not easy.

Trans doesn’t have to mean the “opposite” side of the binary.

I would suggest looking into resources breaking down the binary gender model, seeing if any experiences of folks in the myriad of non-binary identities resonates with you, and even considering if a label is all that important to you. To me, I don’t think should matter so much, and just use the term agender as the closest approximation.

There will be people that will try to gatekeep transness, but what matters is you’ve gone through the work of what you feel is your role in society vs what is the norm. You do that, and you will find plenty will accept it. Try things out, and if you learn that you’re cis, I think the experience of questioning gender will still make a huge positive change.

Honestly, dating apps can be really good for this. Although polyamorous, I state in my profile that I am also open to just friends and my interests. Two of my best friends I met 4 years ago via Tinder. There are plenty of folks looking for friends on them. It especially seems like that for OKC.

Edit: most of my trans friends have been on a local discord community or through people I met on it.

I’m curious if this visualization is like my own. I can very vividly imagine an apple but then the web of thought expands out, and I’m near simultaneously visualizing different colors, shapes, varieties, artistic representations, states of being eaten or degraded, and viewed at different angles, lighting, and settings in rapid succession, so that all the images overlap in a blur of what it is that’s meant by apple.