First…I am NOT an anti-meds person, but I don’t believe that everyone should just be on them. My friend has schizophrenia and absolutely needs her meds. It’s scary when she’s off them because of how negatively it impacts her life.
I called out of work one day due to having an issue and in desperation made a same day appointment with a psych NP. I was surprised at how immediate and quick she was to be like “hey sure yeah you can try meds if you want”. They diagnosed me with the generic “depression and anxiety” and when from there.
Well the NP immediately quit after that and they transferred me to a new NP, who has continued to prescribe different meds for me. I also recently started therapy.
With the first med I tried (an SSRI), I continued to have my episodes, so I initially thought it had zero effect. In retrospect, I do think it slightly lowered my anxiety (but not enough to really do anything). Coming off them was unpleasant and I had another episode that may have threatened my job. I’m not sure if the episode was related to the med reduction or not.
My NP specifically stated that I do NOT have bipolar disorder, but that she wanted to try lamotrigine with me. I have been slowly over many months titrating up to my therapeutic goal dose and reached it a couple weeks ago.
She also recently prescribed me PRN propranolol which I also don’t know if it has any effect. I very rarely get panic attacks. My NP’s idea was that if I have a stressful that happen that day to take it so I am theoretically less inclined to have an outburst of some sort later. Again, I’m not sure if this is really doing anything for me. I don’t notice an effect.
I know propranolol is preventative instead of used during or after, but I can’t always predict when a trigger may occur.
My episodes generally begin with a trigger. So if there are no triggers, I have minimal/no issues. The triggers are not 24/7 and there are sometimes many weeks in between. So how tf am I supposed to tell if the medication does anything???
My issue: extreme negative emotions/spiraling generally tied to a trigger; can cause me want to self harm or do dangerous things, can sometimes cause outbursts at work which threaten work interpersonal relationships and my job. For the most part, my episodes occur outside of work and I am usually (but obviously not always) able to keep it together). So it can be very distressing and unpleasant to live with…but again it’s not 24/7.
Sorry that was long!!!
Are you ok at least? I know you said you were trying to get out of an abusive relationship?
I mean I’ve never had an issues with attention so it just doesn’t make sense to me. Obviously I have emotional problems, but that would be my only “ADHD trait” which is shared by many “conditions”. What other traits do you have?
Yeah some of my online friends seem to think I have a lot of trauma. But the weird thing with that is like… doesn’t literally everyone? Why would some be more effected than others? Some people are horribly abused and it makes sense…but many of us have a lot “milder” traumatic experiences.
I have been consulting ChatGPT (lmao) and it seems that guanfacine is the most common indicated thing for emotional dysregulation in complex trauma. I had never heard of it before.
Yeah thing is I’m totally fine when I have no triggers. But when I do, I go from 0 to 100 and have a hard time getting out of it (whether it’s an activated state more damaging to the self or a low energy state where I have a hard time physically walking or moving). I think my baseline leans normal to slightly depressed.
How do you feel about taking so many meds? I’m already a bit turned off from meds. I have always been of the opinion that while some people really do absolutely need them that a lot of people are over medicated.
After my negative experiences I kind of want to stop trying meds but I’m afraid to get off them after my last experience. I had a reaction in SSRI withdrawal that severely threatened my job. And now my provider has me on lamotrigine, but research that I’ve done seems like it does nothing for emotional dysregulation.
Do you know how much I would have loved to be blunted on SSRIs lol? My issue is too many and too strong emotions, so feeling less would have been helpful!
Oh and why are you taking both guanfacine and propranolol? They both seem to cause a “body calm”, so it seems odd you’re prescribed both.
Sorry for the long response lol