It bears reminding that “sideload” is a made-up term. Putting software on your computer is simply called “installing”, regardless of whether that computer is in your pocket or on your desk. This could perhaps be further precised as “direct installing”, in case you need to make a distinction between obtaining software the old-fashioned way versus going through a rent-seeking intermediary marketplace like the Google Play Store or the Apple App Store.

Regardless, the term “sideload” was coined to insinuate that there is something dark and sinister about the process, as if the user were making an end-run around safeguards that are designed to keep you protected and secure.

A pet peeve I’ve always had with the term sideloading myself! It’s loaded language, coined by an adversary. Like “terrorist” instead of “freedom fighter” etc.

But if we reluctantly accept that “sideloading” is a term that has wriggled its way into common parlance, then we should at least use a consistent definition for it. Wikipedia’s summary definition is:

the transfer of apps from web sources that are not vendor-approved

By this definition, Google’s statement that “sideloading is not going away” is simply false. The vendor — Google, in the case of Android certified devices — will, in point of fact, be approving the source. The supplicant app developer must register with Google, pay a fee, provide government identification, agree to non-negotiable (and ever-changing) terms and conditions, enumerate all their current and future application identifiers, upload evidence of their private signing key, and then hope and wait for Google’s approval.

Wait… It’s not about turning the phone sideways while something is loading so gravity helps pull the progress bar down?

Once Google does away with it, either someone will come up with a viable alternative, or I’ll just buy a damn iPhone so my wife stops yapping about blue text bubbles