I don’t think you realize that you are blessed that you didn’t grow up in Israel. Refusing to serve because of your conscience gets you an exemption in 10% of cases there. The 90% who didn’t want to serve but had no other choice are not monsters, they are caught between a rock and a hard place. Even those who got lucky and didn’t have to serve lose most of their job chances and are branded as undemocratic and traitors - even the “leftwing”-Israelis look down on the “refuseniks”. If you flee your country to dodge the draft, you can never come back, leaving behind everyone who you hold dear.
You can call what most of them DO monstrous (and i agree fully), but they are still human beings. And to feel such remorse that you take your own life is very human - more than any of those who continue to kill can ever be.
I don’t think you realize that you are blessed that you didn’t grow up in Israel. Refusing to serve because of your conscience gets you an exemption in 10% of cases there. The 90% who didn’t want to serve but had no other choice are not monsters, they are caught between a rock and a hard place. Even those who got lucky and didn’t have to serve lose most of their job chances and are branded as undemocratic and traitors - even the “leftwing”-Israelis look down on the “refuseniks”. If you flee your country to dodge the draft, you can never come back, leaving behind everyone who you hold dear.
You can call what most of them DO monstrous (and i agree fully), but they are still human beings. And to feel such remorse that you take your own life is very human - more than any of those who continue to kill can ever be.