I was taking my daily mid-morning poop today and while I was wiping, I thought, I wonder how most people wipe.
I tend to wipe while standing up cause it’s more comfortable and allows for more cheek-spreaditivity.
So, I beg the question: How does most of Lemmy wipe? Do you wipe while standing up or do you wipe while sitting down? Why?
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This question pops up every now and then on social media and it always blows my mind that there are people who wipe standing up. I just don’t understand the logistics of it and it seems like it would make things more difficult.
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If you lean fully forward, palms against the floor, then reach back?
That’s called a st Louis arch
Then that’s not standing up anymore.
Reach back with what??
That’s practically what I do… sitting down
I just feel that the International Ass Wiping Authority guidance 27881 should be followed. By standing the cheeks close slightly, which what the hell, why would I want to wipe that. I do understand the white paper, “Stank Bowl finding 87712-b” outlined the wack idea of wiping over the nuclear blast you just left introduces some risk, but it’s not significant enough to stand up and introduce additional ass closing issues.
We don’t stand that way. It’s “standing” in the sense the butt comes up off the toilet. But the overall posture is still “sitting”.
Ok so the Council of Auditable Shats (1998 conference) did mention this is a good hybrid deployment model.
You need a slight forward tilt for separation.
I wipe in a position that is more like squatting, because standing up clenches the cheeks making it harder to clean, but sitting leaves the possibility of potentially dipping your hand in the toilet bowl.
It is the superior way, embrace the squat wipe.
potentially dipping your hand in the toilet bowl
Only in those strangely deep american toilets
Wouldn’t deep make it harder to dip your hand in?
deep water, as in strange high water line, not deeper bowl
Makes me think about the video with the huuuuge bulky black man thought everyone pooped in their hands and caress it gently into the water.
For the life of me I cannot tell if that was a bit or not
It provides excellent access to the ass
Works fine and I’ve anyways done it that way…
I’ve tried sitting but feels wrong…
Funny how I’m the other way around.
Children learn to stand up to wipe because thats the only way they can reach. Some people never learn otherwise.
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I installed a bidet during the big Covid lockdown. Now, I just do a little butt bounce and drip dry a moment. Then while sitting, just need 4 squares to pat dry.
Bidet is the way. Absolute game changer and saves money on TP!
U betcha!
Bidet is the way.
My brother got a bidet and it doesn’t fit his toilet. The seat is lifted up on one side and I felt like I was gonna break something when I sat down. There was also a poop stain on the nozzle so no thank you…
so you explicitly point out that it was installed wrongly, and use that to conclude that bidets are bad?
No. I was just referring to that time. It’s the only opportunity I’ve ever had to use one, and I definitely wasn’t going to.
I’ve installed a few for friends and family and so far all of them can’t believe they didn’t use one before. The install doesn’t have to be more than a few minutes, and doesn’t have to have anything to do with replacing the seat either. Can just be a hand sprayer for less than $50
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Geez that’s a bit extreme. I think he installed it correctly on the bowl, but the seat just wasn’t designed for it. I was only trying to share the only story I have with a bidet. Sorry if it came across as me shitting on them…
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Who needs a poop bidet when you can just clean with a poop knife?
Pass
obligatory Cyanide & Happiness comic:
Of course there’s a comic about this
Sitting down, back to front while pulling my sack out of harm’s way
This is the way!
Do you all remember when you started to have to pull your sack out of the way? Like I MUST do it now, not sure if my balls are just hanging lower or what, but I don’t remember as a kid/teenager having to pull my sack out of they way to wipe.
This is the way.
You just miss the bidet part before wiping.
Bidet standing up. Making it brown rain.
shudders
Some stay dry and others feel the pain. Chocolate rain!
i sit and wipe like anyone over the age of 8
I imagine it’s difficult for fat people.
I wipe captain Morgan style. Standing up, with one foot up on the toilet seat. That way I can scrape up in there.
Same.
Sit for the broad strokes, stand for the detail work. One foot up on the sink when standing, not bent over forward.
What kind of shits are you taking where there’s a ceremony involved
This must be fun in public restrooms
Wash the brush. Just beat the devil out of it.
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This is what everyone means when they say they wipe ‘standing up’ and afaik more than half the world probably does this.
honestly if anyone considers a squat to be standing then that is what makes me question their sanity
I’m a squatter. But when someone asks me if I sit or stand, I say stand because I’m not technically sitting my ass on the toilet. I’d wager most people who say “stand” are doing the same.
I would consider squatting a form of sitting not standing but if that’s what people mean then it at least makes more sense to me.
Squatting is distinct from sitting though because sitting necessitates your ass touching something.
that’s a weird definition, i’d define sitting as not using your gluteus maximus while also not leaning against something to accomplish that (including laying down, you’re leaning against the floor).
My favorite place to shit is at home because that means I don’t have shoes on and can slip one leg out of my pants allowing me to spread my legs more. Wiping while sitting allows you to incorporate using the seat to help keep your cheeks spread. The first wipe is a light touch so as not smash and smear but still catch any dingleberries. Second wipe is placing folded square over the hole and using a finger to work into any skin folds or creases. Continue as needed…
Additional tip. Slip one arm out of your shirt so it doesn’t accidentally rub against the seat hinges or back of the lid.
Also when involving shits of the more liquid variety, don’t forget to wipe your cheeks. Liquid will run down to the lowest point before dripping, and this can often be far away from the hole.
Sitting, why tf would you stand? I’m already seated and standing up is totally unnecessary.
My ass and thighs are where most of my weight is stored so there’s very little room to stick my hand in without neatly moving my dick and balls outta the way
you wipe from the front??
Good question yes because to wipe from the back my dick and balls would be on the toilet seat. Also bad shoulders tbh
Try wiping from the back?
it’s really hard out here for us thicc thighed homies 😔
I appreciate your understanding
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Use a bidet. The idea sounds weird- a toilet that sprays water up your ass. I wasn’t sure it was for me. Then I tried it. Holy fuck game changer. FULLY clean EVERY time.
But yeah, sitting down. Finish the dump, run the bidet, then wipe to dry, all while sitting.People wipe standing up?
there’s people for everything, imagine the most bonkers absurd but still vaguely feasible thing and at least 10 people out there consider it to be the norm and find not doing it equally absurd.
Yea I guess there’s someone who read this thread and thought “people wipe sitting down?”
I’m still waiting for the handstand folks to chime in.
There’s dozens of us
Wait, you guys are wiping? /s
Did you really need the /s
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What? Is this some kind of obesity problem?
I’m actually fairly fit. I just always felt more comfortable standing and wiping than sitting down
The real shit (pun intended) is having a bidet and not buying into big toilet paper.
Wait so with the bidet do you still wipe after the little splish sploosh or do you just air dry?
Ya do still use some paper to dab your bum dry. They make models with lil blow dryers in them but none of them work that well.
