Weed
Something he could really use: A book full of web links to articles about “how to start your own religion”.
Perhaps I should have just given him a Post-It note that said “Dude, just use ChatGPT”!
Baby Oil
Private Investigator results. Divine conception sounds sus.
I brought a nicely written certificate saying their Christmas present was that a donation had been made in their name. None of them could read. It didn’t go over well.
A mother***king MERRY CHRYSLER
Didn’t he drive them out in his Fury, or was that someone else?
Or maybe that’s a Dodge…
Glock w a switch
One of those string pull animal sound thingies where the cow goes “moo” and the lamb goes “baa” and Judas goes “he’s over there man”.
Fentanyl.
Oh, thank god it wasn’t Tylenol.
deleted by creator
A pack of disposable diapers. They understandably looked at me weird because they hadn’t been invented yet.
Well that does explain why in the Book of Mormon, Jesus dies at 63 of microplastic related lung cancer. 63. Too young.
Diapers. I brought something that new parents actually need, but the story tellers thought it was boring.
I didn’t shit the whole journey, then I crapped it all out into Christ’s crib. You won’t hear about it in the Bible, but the Bible carries on the spirit of the gift: it’s a bunch of shit.
Wait Wait, so without you, it would have been worse?
Sometimes, in secret, the priests share a cup.
it’s not what i brought, it’s how badly i destroyed their toilet on his first birthday party.
One of those I support single moms stripper t-shirts. For carpenter joe of course.
