I know an undiagnosed bipolar guy. The highs are so high, and he’s such a wonderful person. The lows are so low, and come on so fast, and last too long, and he’s a miserable person to be around. And just as you think maybe the growing distance should be made larger and permanent, he’s on a high again and it’s really easy to forget the low period.
For many people, the highs are the problem. Some people spend all their money, some people let complete strangers move in, and some people think God has told them they can fly and jump off a building. Mania, man.
Yep. I had a friend who, when she would get the “up” she’d engage in very risky sex with whoever was around. Then when she’d come down she’d hate herself for it and have to deal with the fallout.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sex positive. Do what you want with who you want. I just see how much it hurt her to constantly be getting std tests and spending all that money on plan b and fucking up her cycle.
There’s a difference between being sex positive and being okay with someone “self harming” with sex. I don’t think you should need to specify you are sex positive, just like someone shouldn’t need to say “I think water is important to drink but you should avoid drowning in it”
You’re probably right. I just prefer to err on the side of over explaining that I never have a problem with what any adult is doing with any other consenting adult.
I have an ex that was like that. It took me way too long to end that relationship, and kind of fucked me up for future ones because when things were good with her they were REALLY good and I end up comparing more recent partners to that, which isn’t fair but I can’t figure out how to not do it and everyone since then has felt so dull by comparison.
My last manic episode didn’t have any euphoria, the only emotions I felt at all were the physical sensations I got from being high. One of several reasons why I think I’m not actually bipolar, I’m just an autistic guy who loves drugs
I’ve also had numerous fantasies of poisoning my friends and family with my bipolar meds. Sadly, there are these things called “laws”, so I’ve never even seriously considered doing it.
The most regularly occurring fantasy involves me poisoning my father with seroquel. That was the first fantasy I got, way back in 2009. I imagined laughing at him and telling him he still sounded manic after being borderline comatose after I duct taped him to a chair and funneled seroquel down his throat.
I know what you’re thinking…“BRO…you need therapy…” well guess what, there are few things I love more than lying to doctors
Even about not taking meds. You will find a proper way for you. They will not punish you for not taking meds. They will maybe help you find better meds or even help you get rod of them in a healthy way.
TBH I have rarely lied to my doctors. But I’ve always wanted to. I just didn’t have the guts to do it, so I took their pills without complaining. Don’t get me wrong, I am 100% going to start lying to doctors from now on. These days, my shrink and my therapist hear only what I want them to hear.
Do not do that. You will not get punished. They are there to help you. They will help you figure your best way forward. They will perscribe you different medicine or they will even help you figure out a strategy so you do not have to take meds.
This is very common. People stop taking meds because they hate side effects. And then the sickness wins. And people like you kill themselves or other. This is very common. And your feelings regarding this topic are common.
But there are many different meds that can help you in different ways with different possible more bareable side effects. Do not do it. Some random stranger (me) here, probably on the other side of yhe world cares for you. Do not endanger yourself or people around you just because you hate some side effects. Just be honest with you therapist and you will figure everything out together. You can even aks for your therapist to be changed. But please discuss this with proffessionals.
I’m just a little burned out at this point because the side effects have lasted 17 years and are the main reason why I am completely unemployable because I haven’t worked in a decade. I was not even motivated to change my clothes or brush my teeth, let alone apply for jobs.
Understandably! Those sound as the signs of depression. If it is caused by meds those should most probably be changed. And I really do not envy your situation. However the only way forward is with a professional. They will now how to advice you. You can DM me if you need someone to talk to. (Just note I usually respond only once a day)
I know an undiagnosed bipolar guy. The highs are so high, and he’s such a wonderful person. The lows are so low, and come on so fast, and last too long, and he’s a miserable person to be around. And just as you think maybe the growing distance should be made larger and permanent, he’s on a high again and it’s really easy to forget the low period.
I can see how meds are tough to get right.
For many people, the highs are the problem. Some people spend all their money, some people let complete strangers move in, and some people think God has told them they can fly and jump off a building. Mania, man.
Yep. I had a friend who, when she would get the “up” she’d engage in very risky sex with whoever was around. Then when she’d come down she’d hate herself for it and have to deal with the fallout.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sex positive. Do what you want with who you want. I just see how much it hurt her to constantly be getting std tests and spending all that money on plan b and fucking up her cycle.
There’s a difference between being sex positive and being okay with someone “self harming” with sex. I don’t think you should need to specify you are sex positive, just like someone shouldn’t need to say “I think water is important to drink but you should avoid drowning in it”
You’re probably right. I just prefer to err on the side of over explaining that I never have a problem with what any adult is doing with any other consenting adult.
Oh yeah for sure. This guy would get so excited about things and ended up with some expensive stuff …
I have an ex that was like that. It took me way too long to end that relationship, and kind of fucked me up for future ones because when things were good with her they were REALLY good and I end up comparing more recent partners to that, which isn’t fair but I can’t figure out how to not do it and everyone since then has felt so dull by comparison.
My last manic episode didn’t have any euphoria, the only emotions I felt at all were the physical sensations I got from being high. One of several reasons why I think I’m not actually bipolar, I’m just an autistic guy who loves drugs
Definitely! Here’s what I’ve learned. (by the way, this is JUST for me. I’m well aware that what doesn’t work for me may work for others)
Seroquel, depakote, litihum, haldol, and lamictal are all poison.
what
how is this relevant
I’ve also had numerous fantasies of poisoning my friends and family with my bipolar meds. Sadly, there are these things called “laws”, so I’ve never even seriously considered doing it.
The most regularly occurring fantasy involves me poisoning my father with seroquel. That was the first fantasy I got, way back in 2009. I imagined laughing at him and telling him he still sounded manic after being borderline comatose after I duct taped him to a chair and funneled seroquel down his throat.
I know what you’re thinking…“BRO…you need therapy…” well guess what, there are few things I love more than lying to doctors
I bet you couldn’t even steal 700 shopping carts.
You know you should not lie to the doctors? They are the only people who can really help you.
Even about not taking meds. You will find a proper way for you. They will not punish you for not taking meds. They will maybe help you find better meds or even help you get rod of them in a healthy way.
Because from your comments: This is not healthy.
TBH I have rarely lied to my doctors. But I’ve always wanted to. I just didn’t have the guts to do it, so I took their pills without complaining. Don’t get me wrong, I am 100% going to start lying to doctors from now on. These days, my shrink and my therapist hear only what I want them to hear.
Do not do that. You will not get punished. They are there to help you. They will help you figure your best way forward. They will perscribe you different medicine or they will even help you figure out a strategy so you do not have to take meds.
This is very common. People stop taking meds because they hate side effects. And then the sickness wins. And people like you kill themselves or other. This is very common. And your feelings regarding this topic are common.
But there are many different meds that can help you in different ways with different possible more bareable side effects. Do not do it. Some random stranger (me) here, probably on the other side of yhe world cares for you. Do not endanger yourself or people around you just because you hate some side effects. Just be honest with you therapist and you will figure everything out together. You can even aks for your therapist to be changed. But please discuss this with proffessionals.
I’m just a little burned out at this point because the side effects have lasted 17 years and are the main reason why I am completely unemployable because I haven’t worked in a decade. I was not even motivated to change my clothes or brush my teeth, let alone apply for jobs.
Understandably! Those sound as the signs of depression. If it is caused by meds those should most probably be changed. And I really do not envy your situation. However the only way forward is with a professional. They will now how to advice you. You can DM me if you need someone to talk to. (Just note I usually respond only once a day)
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