I have so many friends who would 100% be labeled as an incel if they were men. They hold men to impossibly high standards while meeting none of those standards themselves.
For example, women living with parents while expecting men to have their own place, women who are obese but are only interested in fit men, working part time while expecting a man who has a career, refusing to drive and expecting men to chauffeur them around, expecting men to have a variety of friends and interests while doing nothing but watching TV all day, etc.
The worst part is, calling out this inequality will 100% get any man labeled as an incel. We’re expected to either deal with it or be alone forever.
This is NOT to undermine the very real issues women have to deal with, for example the loss of bodily autonomy in the US. But this is still an issue worth discussing and nobody is talking about it.
I 100% guarantee if I had those standards I would be labeled an incel. You’re just flat wrong.
I’m dating a girl right now, and we talked a bit about ex partners and whatever. At some point ahe said she was dating a guy with a actual micro penis and how he was useless to her. She kinda expected me to laugh there but i just felt bad for the guy. She also told me that she likes about me that i’m really handy, she would never date a guy that works on a computer and couldn’t fix (her) stuff. I just said that’s a pretty weird thing to say. But when i thought about it later i realised how weird that is. She specifically said that “that kind of man would be useless to her.”
Never in my life have i even thought something like: “what does this woman bring to the table? She’s cute but she’s a bartender. That’s not very useful.”
The thing that i have learned from online dating the past few years is that women get away with way more than men because they can. This is not some incel manifesto, i don’t hate women at all, i always liked hanging out with women more than men, and if i’d get away with the shit they could, i probably would.
While you certainly have a point, I think that approach is one-sided. We, as a society, absolutely have similar expectations of women. It’s shallow of her (and a bit odd to hear someone admit to) to be so dismissive of her ex’s penis, but we absolutely dismiss the value of women that have small tits or ass, or their lack of willingness to do certain sexual acts. You wouldn’t dismiss a cute bartender for being useless, but you would absolutely dismiss a bar-owner (and thus, very useful) for being ugly.