A big thing that helped me is knowing that, even if nobody knows what it is like to be me, specifically, everything I have ever felt and experienced has been felt and experienced by at least one other person, somewhere. Feelings are far more universal that we realize as we are feeling them, and no matter how alone you feel, there are other people with that same feeling.

This isn’t meant to minimize your experience. In fact, it enhanced mine. By realizing that a lot of people feel the same feelings as me, it helped me communicate better. Even if I have a hard time identifying the name of a feeling, describing it in general terms opens a new point of communication that can bridge a lot of gaps.

For example, I have been able to go to a friend group and explain that, while jokes are okay, a particular joke made me feel unwelcome, and explained why. The fact that I felt excluded stopped being seen as a barrier, and instead it was the thing that started the conversation about the joke, why it was made, and it helped both parties learn some context for next time.

Even if it doesn’t work in your current situation, it can help in similar, future situations by helping you avoid this feelings trap in the future. It has certainly helped me a lot.