Or for some, like my mom, it’s learned helplessness. She always misplaces her phone and keys (not because of dementia or something like that, just lack of attention) so my brother bought her one the Bluetooth tracking tags (air tags, but for Android). Since I work in tech, I’m always the one to set everything up. She said “Set it up for me, I don’t wanna know how to use it…” as if it required zero user input after I had set it up 🤦♂️ I just looked at her and said "… if you lose you keys and need to track them down, how do you expect to find them?!”
She has helped me out with stuff (school wise, life wise, financially, etc…) more times than I can count so I seem and feel like an ungrateful asshole if I just flat out say that.
Hahaha for some people it’s just a habit I guess.
Or for some, like my mom, it’s learned helplessness. She always misplaces her phone and keys (not because of dementia or something like that, just lack of attention) so my brother bought her one the Bluetooth tracking tags (air tags, but for Android). Since I work in tech, I’m always the one to set everything up. She said “Set it up for me, I don’t wanna know how to use it…” as if it required zero user input after I had set it up 🤦♂️ I just looked at her and said "… if you lose you keys and need to track them down, how do you expect to find them?!”
The only proper answer to this is Then I won’t do it. We’re done. Don’t ask me again.
She has helped me out with stuff (school wise, life wise, financially, etc…) more times than I can count so I seem and feel like an ungrateful asshole if I just flat out say that.
If you feel you owe her, don’t complain.
If you need the feel to complain, do something about it.
You can’t have it both ways.
I do say something about it, but help her regardless. You can be annoyed about something but still help regardless of that fact.
Complain to her only, then.