I was diagnosed at 5 and kinda wish I hadn’t been.
I’ve spent my whole life knowing this is why, and having “the tools to fix it” but they never actually helped fix it. I took myself off meds from 13-34 (and managed to get a degree in that time, but never stable employment) because I didn’t think they helped, and at 34 I used them about 6 months to see if it was better… it isn’t, so I just feel like an extra lazy piece of shit who can’t even function with meds.
So I get this really fun dual disappointment that not only have I not managed to overcome something I’ve always known about, I also can’t find things that help when other people find such relief.
My shrink said that this is basically the reason why full grown adults break down crying when they receive their diagnosis.
Basically they’re discovering that they’re not lazy pieces of shit.
I was diagnosed at 5 and kinda wish I hadn’t been.
I’ve spent my whole life knowing this is why, and having “the tools to fix it” but they never actually helped fix it. I took myself off meds from 13-34 (and managed to get a degree in that time, but never stable employment) because I didn’t think they helped, and at 34 I used them about 6 months to see if it was better… it isn’t, so I just feel like an extra lazy piece of shit who can’t even function with meds.
So I get this really fun dual disappointment that not only have I not managed to overcome something I’ve always known about, I also can’t find things that help when other people find such relief.