Thoughts?
Same but that’s pretty much the definition of depression.
If you’re doing things to pass the time though, I’d recommend physical activities. Cleaning, walking, gardening, whatever gets your body moving.
Tried aggressively cleaning, lasted around a week
I go for walks multiple times a day around my suburb
Go running sometimes too
Haven’t picked up my bike in a while
I detest gardeningIt’s all pointless
All you gotta do is keep doing the next right thing. Maybe look into upping your meds? I know it’s hard. I suffer from bouts of depression that feel the same way. I refuse to give up because I know there are so many people who love me including myself (took ages to figure that one out). There are folks who love you and want you to succeed. Start doing some work towards making yourself one of those people as well.
You could try pickleball with a friend!
Quick question. Do you drink much water?
Yes
Thanks.
One thing I’ve noticed is that some things are still fun but for some reason I don’t want to do them. In my case, these are usually things that involve being with friends or family. I feel like I want to be alone, but when I’m alone I’m unhappy. If someone pushes me to be social, I do end up enjoying it but then afterwards I still feel like I want to be alone, and when I’m alone I’m still unhappy.
Something similar but less dramatic happens when I read a book, watch a movie, work on a project, or do anything else that requires hours of focus. I don’t want to do it, I enjoy it if I do, but then I don’t want to do it again.
Dude I’ve been distracting myself from counting the days since before I was in grade school. I’m 45 and still doing it. I may be on it big ass cocktail of medications and in therapy, but I am still looking forward to the sweet silent oblivion of death. Fortunately I’ve never been actively suicidal. Although to this day I refuse to have a gun in my house, just in case.
I’m 20 years away from you, I’ll catch up to you soon!
Yeah do yourself a favor and follow my example; don’t own a gun or allow one in the house. It’s not that I don’t know gun safety, or that I’m particularly inclined to use it even if it’s around. However, statistically, it’s been proven that the mere access/availability of a firearm increases the likelihoods that someone having a particularly bad depressive episode will use it to commit suicide. Knowing that, it’s literally just not worth the risk.
That said, there is nothing wrong with owning a firearm in general. If your mental state is not one subject to depressive thoughts, ideation, or tendencies, as long as you’re a responsible gun owner then so be it.
Sounds like you need medication and therapy. Depression is like an infection. It doesn’t get better on its own you gotta get treatment. I can’t stress enough that therapy and medication are required to treat depression. Depression fucks with your perception and distorts everything.
It’s a pita to find a therapist and psych but ask for help from a friend or family member. That way they can do the heavy lifting while you begin recovery. You wouldn’t expect someone in bed with the flu and 102 fever to help themselves. Someone needs to help you help yourself.
Pm me if you want more info