• cheee@lemmings.world
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    3 months ago

    First week it made me feel like there was a very light electric current running through my body. Not unpleasant, just a bit odd. Tingly. And yawning uncontrollably for a few hours after taking them for a few weeks.

    Again, not unpleasant. But I absolutely embraced them, I did not fight the effects. I was very, very glad to try medications.

    Now, after like 4 or 5 years, I can clearly tell the difference between before and after - the difference is, instead of downward spiralling into a hideous pit that I couldn’t climb out of, that spiralling downwards still starts, but it stops.

    Instead of falling into the pit, I can just choose not to keep going down.

    Things are still upsetting and I still take things worse than other people but I dont become out-of-control spiralling downwards forever until I can’t function. I have gained the ability to shrug and go “that sucks but, whatever”.

    • Chozo@fedia.io
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      3 months ago

      This was my experience, as well. Every experience felt dull or muted. If anyone remembers adjusting the rabbit-ear antenna on an old TV, it felt like you were just an inch away from perfect reception; you can still tell what’s going on, but there’s a thick haze that just flattens everything out.

  • Phenomephrene@thebrainbin.org
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    3 months ago

    Taking SSRIs, I feel like I’m living with an anvil strapped to my back.

    Before I started on them, I felt like I was wrapped around the singularity at the center of a massive black hole. Utterly, utterly crushed; reduced down to the size of something that may as well be nothing. So far past the event horizon that I couldn’t even see it anymore.

    At least an anvil can be useful for smithing something practical, hearty, and if one has the skill, something artful.

  • ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Everything felt lighter. Depression for me felt like someone had increased the effects of gravity just for me. It took immense effort to get out of bed or to make myself move to accomplish anything. The meds turned gravity back to normal.

  • FollyDolly@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    My experience with Zoloft: or the greatest thing that has ever happened to me:

    I have autism, which led to crippling, crushing anxiety and depression. It wasn’t until my mid twenties that I broke down. I could barely hold a job, talk on the phone, I couldn’t even get a drivers lisense because I had panic attacks behind the wheel so no one was willing to even TRY to teach me anymore. Zoloft changed everything. Within a few days of taking it I was less depressed sure, but the reduction of the anxiety was a miracle. I could take phone calls! I got a drivers license! I was able to get a good paying job and get my life together. It enabled me to get therapy and a diagnosis of autism which really helped me to understand a lot of my underlying problems. I remember asking my friend, after my first successful trip DRIVING to the store, is this how normal poeple feel ALL THE TIME!!??? Not crushed 24/7 by fear so bad it would make me puke!??

    Side effects: I gained a lot of weight and my sex drive took a huge, huge nose dive. If I miss more than three doses I get terrible brain zaps, and can’t do anything until I get my meds. Even moving my EYES felt like lighting through my skull.

    Hopefully my mini novel here was helpful, I feel like one of the few lucky, lucky poeple who had such a good reaction to SSDI inhibitors.

    TLDR: took zoloft for depression, instead it ended up being the best anti- anxiety medication I have and I am still taking it. 10/10 would Zoloft again.

    • Ellia Plissken@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      Zoloft gang here too. I had some mild symptoms of serotonin syndrome when I first started taking it, but they were gone within a couple weeks and it’s making a huge difference with my anxiety. I’m also autistic & ADHD

  • flicker@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I want to add another “everyone is different.”

    As in, my major depressive disorder is comorbid with ADHD. Which means my particular brain is wired like someone insane put it together.

    The ADHD diagnosis didn’t come until my mid-30s but the depression came before I was 10 years old, so I was trying everything on the market all those years. (Reminder to those of you still working on it that if there’s even one day of genuine joy to be found, all the misery will have been worth it, yes, even if it takes 20 years.)

    SSRIs for me are treating a problem with a solution I don’t have. My brain refuses to make serotonin. There isn’t any of it, so controlling it’s uptake is pointless.

    So it was just a massive variety of different types of numb, and different negative side effects. Of course, numb was preferable to misery, so I stayed on one or another for long stretches until I got the urge to try and find something that actually worked again.

  • aMockTie@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    For me personally, it didn’t really feel like anything. Kind of like taking an over the counter pain medicine, it’s not an obvious change but the pain that was there before is numbed or even entirely gone. Not noticeable unless consciously thinking about it.

    It took a while to find the right dosage (roughly a year, multiple hospital visits, and a divorce from a toxic marriage), but I went from being obsessed with suicide and doing multiple attempts every day to being horrified at the thought of suicide and wanting to live as long as possible.

    • cheese_greater@lemmy.worldOP
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      3 months ago

      Do you ever think it might have been getting away from the marriage that was the ultimate antidepressant? I’m starting to think 99% of the problem is environmental (like home life) and antidepressants are medicine’s way of modulating a status quo that is otherwise not economically changeable or feasible to change

      • SavvyWolf@pawb.social
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        3 months ago

        I used to be sceptical of antidepressants as well, wanting to try and fix things “properly”. But after getting in a really bad state, I decided to accept their “help”. Lifestyle changes are important, but antidepressants “take the edge off” and make it easier to implement those changes.

        I think antidepressants should pretty much always be paired with other support or lifestyle changes though.

        • IMALlama@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I think antidepressants should pretty much always be paired with other support or lifestyle changes though.

          I completely agree with you. That’s not the experience my wife has had though. Finding the right professional to work with has been a challenge for her and her general practitioner has prescribed her SSRIs on more than one occasion without providing any guidance/assistance beyond “take this to feel better”.

      • aMockTie@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Honestly I don’t think I would have filed for divorce before the medication. I was convinced that I was not only the problem, but that I was an evil villain, and that I was making the world a better place by killing myself. Suicide was the noble and heroic action in my mind at the time, and it’s only with the benefit of hindsight, continued medication, regular therapy, and reassurances from my family that I’m able to recognize how toxic my former situation was.

  • stelelor@lemmy.ca
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    3 months ago

    I take fluoxetine. It doesn’t have an immediate physical effect like Tylenol, Gravol, and the like. The effect builds up with time. I would describe it as feeling like “quiet”. Fluoxetine gave me the ability to quiet bad thoughts. From there, I had more stability to climb out from the pit of despair and anxiety.

    The first few days (maybe two weeks or so) after starting, I slept a lot. Where I used to go to bed at 11:30pm and wake up at 5am, I was now out like a light at 8pm. My brain was finally quiet, so I could feel my body’s exhaustion.

    The next thing I noticed is that I was able to let small annoyances slide. I used to be triggered by stuff like someone playing music too loudly in the bus. Instead of hyperfixating on that sound and ruminating for the entire bus ride, I could now let it fade in the background and think of something else.

    After a few weeks, I noticed less crying, less blowing up at my partner, and less panic spirals. That time and energy I could now put into other stuff: chores, hobbies, socializing. I wanted to be happy and I felt empowered to make it happen, rather than at the whim of the exterior world.

    While fluoxetine greatly diminished my lows, it also muted my highs. In my manic-ish days I felt “happy” for hours, and often hypersexual. Now my happiness was different, like… instead of going on fun rollercoasters and having my heart race, I was now sitting in a cozy armchair with a cup of tea and a snack, and my heart was peaceful. I do have a lower libido, which is tough on my partner. (OTOH I now contribute a lot more to household tasks, so it events out lol.) I do miss the euphoria I used to be able to feel, but I don’t wish it back because I know the price I had to pay for it.

    • anon6789@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I would describe it as feeling like “quiet”. Fluoxetine gave me the ability to quiet bad thoughts. From there, I had more stability to climb out from the pit of despair and anxiety.

      The next thing I noticed is that I was able to let small annoyances slide. I used to be triggered by stuff like someone playing music too loudly in the bus. Instead of hyperfixating on that sound and ruminating for the entire bus ride, I could now let it fade in the background and think of something else.

      This is the best description of my personal change as well. Medicine won’t fix a single one of life’s annoyances or solve your problems or help your relationships. What they will do is remove what I would describe as an emotional stickiness.

      Like the noisy bus rider you mentioned, that alone is something I can easily deal with now. But back before medication, that frustration would just stick in my brain. And then thoughts of other people doing things from my past would creep in and stick to the initial annoyance. Every minor problem would stick to anything else I could remember, so now instead of a tiny, temporary problem, I had to suddenly deal with every problem I could remember.

      Now the thoughts about unrelated things don’t creep in, and I can deal with the minor annoyance without everything else.

      Other people’s comments have mentioned many other effects similar to what I had, but your comment is the only one that mentioned the persistent focus in negative things and the thought creep, or at least that’s how I read it.

      • stelelor@lemmy.ca
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        3 months ago

        But back before medication, that frustration would just stick in my brain.

        Yes! Exactly that. What you call emotional stickiness I call spiralling. Before meds, once something upset me it was nearly impossible to stop. That minor annoyance made me feel anxious and upset, which in turn reminded me of other times I felt that way, and it all amplified.

        I’m glad you’re in a better place. Remember, if you can’t make your own neurotransmitters, store-bought are fine. 👍

        • anon6789@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          I’m glad you are too!

          My partner is also on treatments for bipolar, so between us it does make planning…romantic encounters very difficult as well, but as you said too, we both prefer each other leveled out as opposed to dealing with each other at our extremes. We’d probably be a disaster if we were both doing poorly at once. We still have a very friendly love for each other though, which helps fill the gap left in the physical things. I’m sure it help that it’s similar for both of us, than if it was just one of us on mood numbers.

    • Binette@lemmy.ml
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      3 months ago

      Omg same! Like everything just feels more mellow. My happiness feels sorta like “meh”, but not in a bad way.

  • mommykink@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Like the first ten minutes after waking up from a really hard, hot, nap, all day, every day.

  • SavvyWolf@pawb.social
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    3 months ago

    So, I want to preface this with “it affects everyone differently”. If you are at all curious about it and live in a place with functioning healthcare, you may as well give them a try. Worst comes to worst, you try them for a month and they don’t work. Personally, I kinda wish I had tried them sooner.

    Anyway, for me I think that they allow me to feel more of a “range” of emotions. I still have good and bad days, but that’s better than bad and terrible days. It’s actually interesting to me, because it feels like I’ve unlocked a range of emotions and need to learn how to manage them like a normal person.

    I also sometimes get this weird euphoric feeling that everything is going to work out and that the world isn’t as bad as it seems. I also seem to be better at motivating myself, although still not good at it yet. Since taking them, I’ve been able to push boundries and do things I wasn’t confident doing before. But I still don’t exercise enough and eat too much takeout. :P

    However, I do feel that there’s a tiredness in the back of my head that inhibits my ability to do intellectual tasks? Someone else described it as feeling like carrying an anvil around, and I can kinda see that. Although I did pick up a really bad habit of bedrotting during my depression, which I have yet to shake off. Maybe if I exercise more regularly I will feel better?

    For libedo… I do feel that it has gone down a lot. Especially in the first few weeks of taking them. However, I also was really worried and obsessing over that part of them before taking them, so maybe I placebo’d myself into thinking I had issues? The biggest sex organ is the brain and all that. A lot of my anxiety and depression was related to sex stuff as well, so that may tie into it.

    Anyway, that’s my experiences. Let me know if anyone has any more questions. I like talking about myself. :P