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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to People Twitter@sh.itjust.works · 10 months ago

Borderline criminal

lemmy.world

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Borderline criminal

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to People Twitter@sh.itjust.works · 10 months ago
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  • GluWu@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    • nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee
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      10 months ago

      I miss azumanga

  • Eiri@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    I like to imagine that it’s not jars of peanut butter. Just raw peanut butter, sloshing around when it’s warm.

    • Crackhappy@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Shhhhhh. I can only get so erect.

  • School_Lunch@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    I got a bunch of free Coca-Cola once, and some dude at taco bell overheard me say something about “all the coke I have in my trunk”. He then tried to sell me some of his coke.

    • trashcan@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      Does someone with a trunk full of coke really need the taco bell guy’s supply anyway?

      • watersnipje@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        10 months ago

        You would think that, if you’ve never used coke

    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Oh, that’s why people go to Taco Bell

      • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Either that or because it’s a delicious treat

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    I fully expect a cop here might arrest you over that.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Civil Asset Forfeiture is one hell of a drug.

      • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        They would totally steal my hundreds of pounds of loose peanut butter.

        But I was thinking more along the lines of how the police have no legal requirements to know the law or what doesn’t violate it.

        • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          police have no legal requirements to know the law or what doesn’t violate it

          Broadly speaking, that’s true. Narrowly speaking, their job isn’t to adjudicate your behavior, just to identify and report certain behaviors that might be criminal. Prosecutors are supposed to know the law and determine whether an actual violation has taken place, then press charges or drop them, accordingly.

          But because going through the legal process is expensive - both in terms of time and monetary cost - any interaction with the police that results in an alleged offense sets an enormous burden on the accused. And because our legal system is heavily privatized, police bias can result in huge economic tolls put on people who “look suspicious”.

          This is why its so hard to get good fresh peanutbutter in America, today.

      • KellysNokia@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Time to civil asset forfeit DEEZ (pea)NUTS

  • Fermion@feddit.nl
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    10 months ago

    Is this peanut butter in little jars, big jars, bags, or just shoveled in like one giant trunk tub of creamy peanut butter?

    • Dicska@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Plastic shopping bags, untied

      • Fermion@feddit.nl
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        10 months ago

        Oh so like how you stock up on gas when there’s a shortage.

  • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    The real crime is creamy peanut butter

    • Psychadelligoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      10 months ago

      If it was meant to be chunky it wouldn’t be called butter

      Is the phrase “butter rough” or “butter smooth”?

      • reev@sh.itjust.works
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        10 months ago

        In Dutch it’s called Peanut Cheese

        • spinnetrouble@sh.itjust.works
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          10 months ago

          I can’t tell if I love this or hate it

        • Psychadelligoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          10 months ago

        • restingboredface@sh.itjust.works
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          10 months ago

          I’m physically sick from this term.

        • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          To me, that implies that it’s been fermented/cured somehow, which just raises more questions.

          Edit: Whoa.

          • reev@sh.itjust.works
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            10 months ago

            They specifically mention the savory uses and the Dutch I’ve met do love their satay sauce, a savory peanut butter sauce.

      • fsxylo@sh.itjust.works
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        10 months ago

        Hey, you can charge good money for a “butter rough”.

    • Comment105@lemm.ee
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      10 months ago

      Only cavemen eat insufficiently crushed peanut butter.

    • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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      10 months ago

      U like chunky normal butter?

      • AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Butter with salt crystals is crunchy butter.

  • mvilain@fedia.io
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    10 months ago

    Now if it was crunchy peanut butter, I woulda accused the guy of being a pervert.

  • don@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    Cop: You a spoon, shovel, backhoe, or “all of the above plus some” kinda person?

    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      Whatever gets it in the hole the easiest. I prefer a douche bag and a thicc tube.

  • IAmTheZeke@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Second person next to a second car filled with milky chocolate: But hitting me was a crime.

  • SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zip
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    10 months ago

    I’m sorry, but this to me is same type of humor as those rage comics

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