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Absolutely nothing, because I wouldn’t want a stranger to talk to me in an elevator and I was raised to do unto others.
I feel awkward being in public without interaction. It’s like my brain goes into overdrive, trying to predict a sudden interaction incoming like a quick time event
I’d comment on something slightly more relevant than the weather, because the conversation can then fade to comfortable silence (for me at least) knowing no more conversation is likely, or I’d do what I always do when someone engages - everyone has something interesting about them, I’ll throw the conversation in random directions until I find a topic worth speaking about
Considering it’s only 8 seconds this must be the fastest fucking elevator ever so I’m probably screaming
The elevator is actually out of order, she likes hanging in there, but you leave as soon as you see it doesn’t work
Is she a ghost?
I make brief eye contact, purse my lips to form a half-smile, and nod my head downward. Then i move to an open corner of the elevator, i pull my phone out, and i end my turn.
The elevator stops at the next floor and a Chadbro™ enters. He does not notice you, and does not press any buttons on the elevator. He sniffs his pits before posting his hand on the wall beside the woman and whispers something in her ear. Her face changes to disgust and she darts a pleading glance in your direction, silently asking for help.
I put on my robe and wizard hat
Please understand how small an elevator is, and how big fireball is. Your party is begging you.
I smile casually then turn slightly away from them before sitting down crossed legs facing away, trying to focus on my romantic web comics.
You forgot to roll for initiative!
Combat hasn’t been initiated. lol
Famous last words.
“haha roll initiation for what? im in a elevator :p”
Chadbro slowly begins to turn. A smirk creeps across his face as he stares daggers into my soul.
He draws a broadsword“Oh”
Lady in red. It’s a simulation, no experiment is going to show anything worthwhile.
“Look again.”
looks
“Fuck, I wish you’d stop doing that, Morpheus.”
Nothing and just awkwardly stare on the floor or wall, like with anyone else.
Well, considering the only elevator I take is to a secure area, I’d ask to see your visitor’s badge and inform you civilians aren’t allowed here unescorted.
She IS the escort.
I got a gift card from the airport for challenging the “secret shopper” once. Apparently had walked past four actual employees before I challenged him. I was on my way to the jobsite.
Why do you assume she doesn’t have clearance?
No access badge clearly visible attached between neck and waist.
And if she’s holding it in her hand to put on? I just can’t imagine dresses being prohibited in secure areas.
Then she’s going to keep getting challenged by security until she clips the damn badge on the damn dress.
We have 11 people with clearance and I know them all.
Only cleav…ance. Haha!
Absolutely nothing because people who have elevator conversations are not worth talking to.
Hey. Some of my best conversations have taken place in an elevator.
But yeah, I’m not worth talking to
Second 1: introduce myself
Second 2: Andrew Tate pose
Second 3: obtain phone number
Second 4: go on date
Second 5: head home with them
Second 6: get touchy
Second 7: undress
Second 8: get off at my floor because I already came at second 1.
Youre disgusting.
I know, who gets phone numbers these days?
Yeah my bad for responding to the premise with sexual comedy rather than quirky comedy
I was thinking about this exact scene
What the fuck was that x)
Liar liar. 90s movie where Jim Carey plays a lawyer that gets put under a spell or something n then can’t tell a lie anymore.
Risky click of the day paid off
Damn. Mod removed my comment because it said “boobies”. Surprised yours is still up.
I wouldn’t say anything because some women find elevator pickup attempts intimidating.
Tbf women say they find just interacting with men at all intimidating, see: Bears. I just don’t talk to anyone anymore tbh.
I’m gonna die alone with my cats, but at least I won’t be called creepy for asking a woman out for coffee!
Use the apps
No, privacy nightmare.
Don’t trust what the loud voices say.
Many, if not most, women are normal humans like you, looking for interaction like you.
Women won’t let men leave until they’ve squashed a bug that’s 20 feet away from them. The bear thing was always bullshit.
No that’s not fair, they do not. Don’t be creepy in the elevator, or alone in the woods, or anywhere else where you guys are gonna say “because of the implication”.
Also don’t ask women out at the gym, at work, in a store, on the street, or any hobby where they just want to enjoy themselves and not have to be asked out politely or otherwise.
The only acceptable places according to women are on the apps and in bars, or church supposedly if you’re one of those.
I don’t do the privacy violating apps, I don’t drink much anymore, and both of those are more “hook up” culture while I want like “an actual relationship,” and church just isn’t for me. Like, I could go hang out but I’m not going to believe in your gods, and that is a point of contention with the faithful.
Why don’t you use websites without using apps?
Way back when I was single, I could pick up a woman without even having to corner her.
Just follow the good old rules of 1 and 2.
It’s not hard
Don’t talk about fight club?
DON’T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB?
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Be attractive
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Don’t be unattractive
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“You gonna jump? 3… 2… 1… GO!”
“I can be done in 7.”
I don’t understand. What’s a uniform gravitational field and why does being inside one feels like standing in an accelerating elevator?
This is a joke about Einstein’s form of the Equivalence Principle:
Thanks. Let’s see:
The weak equivalence principle, also known as the universality of free fall or the Galilean equivalence principle can be stated in many ways.
And
“… in a uniform gravitational field all objects, regardless of their composition, fall with precisely the same acceleration.” “The weak equivalence principle implicitly assumes that the falling objects are bound by non-gravitational forces.”[11]
I’m just beginning to understand. I’m not there yet.
If you are standing in a closed box, there is no experiment you can make that tells you whether that box is standing on earth, or is on a rocket in space accelerating at 9.81m/s²
This has a bunch of interesting implications about the nature of spacetime
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It’s just that normal gravity on earth feels exactly like being in an accelerating elevator in space. So you can’t tell the difference from the inside. Like in the elevator you can ask them, whether you’re still on earth or accelerating in space. Einstein used this thought experiment to develop the general theory of relativity.
Basically Einstein thinking about that weird feeling you get in your gut when an elevator starts upwards led to him concluding that mass bends spacetime making light from distant stars go in curves around the sun, which was confirmed during the next available solar eclipse.
Aaah. I understand. :)
Nothing because I’m taking the stairs
Omg girl, you look amazing in that dress. I’m so jealous. Be safe girl and remember to cover your drink.
Literally the only correct answer other than polite silence.
There’s always “hello” and “have a nice day”
That’s not how ‘literally’ works
Literally has been used as an intensifier for over 200 years. The Oxford English Dictionary includes the definition of “figuratively”. Jane Austen, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Henry David Thoreau, James Fenimore Cooper, James Joyce, Charles Dickens, and Mark Twain all used it that way in their writing.
It is truly bizarre that one of the definitions of the word is literally the opposite of the primary definition of the word, however.
The dictionary is descriptive, not proscriptive. Language evolves
I knew I’d receive that reply, and I know it to be true. It’s still very odd, as noted. I’m sure there are other examples where one definition contradicts another, but none immediately spring to mind.
Here’s a fun list: https://www.dailywritingtips.com/75-contronyms-words-with-contradictory-meanings/
It literally includes literally 😉
