Finesse doesn’t mean bowing down to everyone. And indeed, expecting people to put their egos aside, at least quickly, is unrealistic, and even if the person takes in the points later on, chances of admitting are also low. But for example, if the person is clearly aggressive by his/her discourse, specially when including swear words, people tend to close down to whatever the first person is trying to say, or even respond proportionally aggressively.