yet another post about the expletive I used at the workplace (the word fuck).
I asked my union representative who, among other things, suggested to explain to the coworker why I used the word, but so far I haven’t worked with her again. To me, using that word while working means nothing, but I can change my behavior around some coworkers if they find the word so offensive.
As I was sitting working my manager came to me, not asking but demanding I explain myself for using the word. She didn’t ask for my side of the story, which is the reason why I want a union representative present, because otherwise my manager will start yelling and won’t let me speak, and I still don’t know how many times she claims I used that word, if I yelled or if I told anyone to eff off.
First words out of my mouth: I’m not going to talk about this without a union representative present.
She kept pushing it, and I kept repeating my position. We repeated our sentences four times. Then she said she would inform HR, I simply said they can come, so we all four conduct the meeting.
Just as I thought we were going to agree on a time and place for a meeting, she leaves.
I asked: Aren’t we going to agree on a time and place to conduct the meeting?
Her answer: you can do that yourself.
I contacted my union representative who told me his available time slots for the next 3 weeks.
Since then I’ve been transferred to another unit (worse one) and another unit within the same system and city has offered me a job, starting in March 2025.
I still don’t understand why my manager left so abruptly and the transfer feels like retaliation, but she is well within her rights to do that.
I guess I’m well within my rights to quit the unit, but the whole situation feels strange.
I also feel my manager is playing power games: It’s me the one who has to ask for a meeting with her and HR, it’s me the one who has to state a reason good enough for the meeting to take place.
I feel she thought she could corner me and wasn’t expecting me to have contacted the union.
When people yell at me I either yell back, go away or tell the other party to wait for a meeting with somebody I trust, like a union representative.
Even if you believe I’ve been an idiot for saying that word at the workplace, at least you’ll agree this is a learning experience. Be professional at the workplace, coworkers are not your friends, be good at what you do.
If I quit, this episode is not the only reason why, but the straw that broke the camel’s back.
What would you do?
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To quote the top comment from a previous shitshow post of yours:
Why do I feel like you didn’t just say “fuck”?
If you are complaining about “the female mob,” there is probably something else going on. Notable that you’ve never shared the context in which the word was said.
I personally have no issue with swearing. I do it quite a lot. However I’ve got a pretty good filter for when it’s not appropriate, like around kids, or in many professional settings.
From reading your other posts about this it seems you are a nurse and dropped an f bomb while checking on a patient’s wound care.
To me, that seems like a pretty clear situation where it’s inappropriate to swear. It’s unprofessional and bad bedside manner from a medical professional. If I were a patient and heard my nurse drop an f bomb while working on me, I’d be quite alarmed.
I suspect your fellow nurses are not mad at you because they are too sensitive about swearing, but rather they consider your outburst to have been unprofessional, and the fact that you refuse to acknowledge that, apologize, and promise to work on it in the future is what has them upset with you.
Use that learning opportunity for your future. That’s the main thing. And maybe a change of scenery won’t hurt. I doubt you’ll reconcile with your manager and coworkers, so you might as well take the other job offer, if it’s alright.
If this sounds like retaliation, that’s probably a good reason to get your union involved.
Either there is more to the story you’re not telling us, or your manager and that coworker are absolute assholes. Maybe even both.
What a coincidence. A couple of days ago in the UK, there was a tribunal court judgement on the use of the word fuck, that’s favourable to the claimant being dismissed by his company.
I don’t think it’s about the word fuck. If you didn’t get the union involved, you’d probably had one conversation about it, and be done with it.
