• Classy@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    What a sad situation. I know a lot of people here think this is abuse and I can see their perspective, but I see this more as a relationship lacking communication. The wife didn’t feel assured that her husband loved her anymore and the divorce papers were a last ditch effort to see if he still does. Sure, just talking openly would be better, but goddamn is it hard to find people who can do that.

    I think the fact that she broke down and tore up the papers immediately after is a sign that she really didn’t want to do it and was reacting to his genuine reply.

    I think OOP needs couple’s therapy.

      • Classy@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        Fuck man, I don’t disagree with you. Don’t construe my words as me saying there’s nothing wrong here, but I also am not in the “omg just get divorced” camp, either. I’ve been in great and terrible relationships and I’ve seen behavior like above in both. There’s a massive difference between “I’m serving you these papers to cause suffering or as a shit test” and what OOP’s wife did. YES, her behavior was toxic. Toxicity doesn’t happen in a vacuum.

        I’ve been around plenty of guys like the greentexter, too. Aloof, unaware, “women say the darnedest things” types. If he doesn’t see the situation and say, “Damn I got some problems with this relationship that need fixing” then he’s insane. But this guy says, “I love you and I’ve always tried… Man this is weird, better post to 4chan!”

        Perhaps she’s been trying to talk to him about it but he’s been acting like a dumbass and this was her last ditch effort to shake some sense into him. AGAIN, her behavior is unhealthy. But if his response to it is to show love, and hers is to break down and back away from the edge, then perhaps there is more foundation here than we’re seeing in the context of this message.

        I love my partner dearly and I regret to say I’ve acted in ways like this before during difficult times. Love is fucking hard sometimes. It’s about how you pick the pieces up and move forward.

      • pickman_model@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        maybe a fucking adam sandler movie but this is real life

        In all fairness, that looks like 4chan, so maybe we should lower our expectations here a bit more. I’m sorry you had to go through all that crap growing up. I hope you are in a better situation now.