The problem is he then needs to have the argument every single day, or even several times a day about the screen time, you just walk away. It takes so much energy to fight this fight and it’s a never ending story.

Nowadays you also play online instead of split screen, so that argument goes down the drain.

The argument that kids should learn consoles, ipads, etc. early, I don’t get it, why? We didn’t learn it early, it’s so intuitive to use there is nothing to learn.

Anyway, there are only very limited positives but so many negatives with it, it’s just not worth the hassle.

Six is definitely too young. Not hard to understand at all. iPad kids are a thing.

Brother told me he doesn’t want that and thinks it’s too dangerous and overall screen time is very bad for children. I understand what he means but can’t that be regulated with lets say 1-2 hours per day limits?

It can. But, why create the conditions for the problem in the first place? They may see it as just another thing to manage which provides no benefit. Realize that what you are effectively asking here is, “why can’t they take on another responsibility to manage that they have said they don’t want to manage?” Yes, parental controls exist (and almost universally suck); but, it’s yet another demand on the parents time.

When I turned 5 years old…

Ya, this is a complete non-starter of an argument. There is a lot about how I was raised which I have zero intention of replicating with my own children. Just because you “turned out fine” does not mean that the way you were raised was necessarily the right way. Your brother and his partner are making decisions they think are best for raising their children today. The past will inform those decisions; but, they may have also concluded that some of the choices made by your parents weren’t the right ones and they want to provide their version of a better environment for their children. They will almost certainly get some stuff wildly wrong, but this is part of being a parent.

I just don’t understand why most parents nowadays are so extreme.

Is this their first kid? Unfortunately, the after-birth for a child does not include a manual. While parents do get a lot of advice from the people around them, a lot of that advice is just outright bad and much of it contradictory. There’s also loads of “conventional wisdom” which ends up being nothing more than societal programming which can be very wrong or outright dangerous. Parents get to navigate all of that, usually with a lack of sleep, and heightened stress levels all while adjusting to a new and very vocal demand on their time. Taking a few shortcuts is to be expected. It is often easier to give an outright “no” to something than to try and figure out how to integrate a new demand on your or your child’s time.

I don’t know what they are doing with my nephew it’s hilarious cause he can’t even hold scissors and he is 6 years old.

Different kids learn different skills as different rates. For some, the fine motor skills may come later, scissors being a good example of that.

As of now my nephew never touched a phone…Imagine when he is in school and his friends tell him to scroll and he has no idea how to even scroll? Isn’t that weird?

Not really, no. While he will almost certainly grow up surrounded by technology, he’s not going to suffer because he didn’t get a phone until he was a bit older. People adapt to the technology around them all the time. And there is no guarantee that the user experience on devices in 10 years will be anything like it is today.

If I had a kid I think I’d…

Hoo boy, this is just a fun statement to see from the other side. I know this will come off as condescending, and I apologize for that; but, it’s really hard to really understand how much your thinking changes when that first kid comes screaming into the world. This isn’t to say that you would completely change your mind. But, sometimes you can find yourself in the moment of making a decision and realize that you just don’t agree with what you used to. Maybe you will; but, having kids running around changes how you think. It’s a good exercise to think through how you might react. But, it’s tough to be completely sure until you’re actually having to do it live.

But I understand him and respect him, I won’t buy it and I will save my money

Good on you for respecting those boundaries and for being a loving enough uncle that you wanted to do that for your nephew. Seriously, one of the best gifts you can give both the kid and the parents is being a supporting family member. Maybe in a year or two they will have changed their minds on the console and you can get the kid started on gaming. Until then, just go for something electronic, “learning focused” and loud. Might as well still have some fun at the expense of the parent’s sanity.

As of now my nephew never touched a phone. This isn’t anything bad but compared to his class mates I think this is weird.

He just turned six. What do you need a phone for at six? Call your kindergarten sweetheart?

Imagine when he is in school and his friends tell him to scroll and he has no idea how to even scroll? Isn’t that weird?

No. I would consider weird to think kids need to be using a phone as soon as they get out of their diapers in order to be considered ‘normal’ ;)

As a side-note, maybe you could offer that kid books, instead. He will learn a lot more reading them. A lot. And have a lot of fun too.

Plus, there is no in-app purchase in books, no tracking, no spying, no ads. And they won’t require updates either ;)

Kids, especially at 5, just don’t need it. It isn’t helpful or social for a 5 year old.

IMO, you shouldn’t give any gifts to kids under 10, that you don’t intend to allow them to use unrestricted. If it’s meant to be restricted, don’t call it theirs.

Also, every kid is brought up different. I don’t think they’ll be embarrassed not knowing how to scroll a touchscreen… Stop hating on your brother’s parenting styles unless it’s harming their kids. Buy him some kids scissors and glue if he needs the practice.

Get him an N64 and GoldenEye?

Games and consoles are made to be as grabbing as possible, nowadays. To my understanding, it’s the way the industry works.

I had a SEGA Game Gear and a Mega Drive, with a few games, and played on it as much as I could but back then I remember I would out of the blue get bored and turn off the game. Either because there was a save point or the entire game up to that point was easy to memorize.

Nowadays, on modern games, I don’t see that. It’s just another level, another enemy, another boss, another whatever. The games are engineered to lock the player in. And children are especially vulnerable to this.

I gifted my kids one of those retro emulation consoles and sometimes play with them. There are 20.000 ROMs in that thing and they get bored at some point and drop it. The usual “complaints” are that the games are too hard or that they had enough.

I’m not saying your take is wrong but your brother is neither.

Have you seen iPad kids? They’re literal zombies. Zero thoughts in their heads.

I mean 1-2 hours a day is a lot to begin with. At 6 kids are doing homework and learning to read.

I’m definitely pro gaming and my son and daughter today maybe an hour or two a week and usually it’s Animal Crossing. We spend much of the time reading what is written (they are French first so this is English exposure). I rather they game than watch nonsense TV.

For Christmas my brother bought them an Android handheld with retro ROMs. That is much more difficult to control and my kids do get warped into bingeing.

Maybe recommend Omh it’s a great iOS game that’s educational.

The other thing to understand is, this may be something his wife wants more than he does.

Unfortunately in relationships, after both parents have made a decision (and sometimes one parent might not have wanted it, but agreed to it because it wasn’t their highest priority and they wanted to avoid a fight), it’s still that parents job to communicate that decision to their side of the family.

But I had a similar situation to you and you brother, and similarly my dad made us play outside basically whenever it was nice outside, so your correct that regardless of what tech a kid has, ultimately parents decide how to use it.

But it may also be that they know their kid well enough that they know the restricting of that tech will cause more tantrums/problems then giving it in the first place.

Parents have lots of strange rules not rooted in logic or reason unfortunately, it’s part of the insane crazy love we feel for our children. All you can do is what you’ve done, say your piece and move on.

I’m shocked by the level of anti tech/screen time in this thread.

‘6 is too young’ - you think this (or any 6yo) child doesn’t watch TV? All the arguments provided go double for TV, expect for portability.

My take, as a parent, is that full restriction is almost as unhelpful as no restriction. Kids need to learn, and a big thing they need to learn is self regulation. Teach them by teaching them how to play within limits and how to watch between limits. Some of my friends did zero screens till 5, and now they’re kid now basically worships screen time - it’s this huge reward for him. H’ll be fine, but the difference to my kids is staggering.

A key point about screens, games or shows, is that they shouldnt be used to replace emotional self regulation. There is research coming out now that does how this stunts emotional development.

But ultimately it’s your brother’s choice.

One solution might be to have gaming systems at your house that your nephew is allowed to play when he’s there. Not the nephew’s system at your place, your system that you and him and your brother all play together whenever they visit.

Bonus points if it’s a system you and your brother used to play back in the day.

My daughter is 6 and allowed to, with limits. She used to make a whole thing of it when it was time to do other things, but doesn’t anymore, it’s fine. On the other hand, my nephews will scream about it, and they’re older than her. Every kid is different, so maybe they expect their kid to be on the worse end, or maybe they wanna focus on those motor skills before they get to use a console.

The scissor thing might be explained by them only recently being allowed to use scissors. My daughter had a pair of plastic safety scissors for a good while, but not every kid is gonna do that.

Him not knowing how to scroll isn’t weird without having used a screen, and he’s definitely not past some minimum screen time age.

You are forgetting the biggest piece to your puzzle. Your brother has a wife and wants to enjoy his marriage. Even if he agrees with you he has to make a case with the relationship and on a point like this it’s not worth it.

Six is definitely too young. iPad kids are a thing. What do I as a parent need to add?