Life is very hard and challanging but Your photos of your cats are very good.

I think that you didn’t find the right method for you that works for your case, and not for n% of population. A change in treatment is needed.

I have snooped a bit and you said that you are interested history and archeaology. You could try to become IT help in some university so you could help with, for example Herculaneum Burned Scroll that need a lot of computers to unravel their mysteries. You have some skills and I am sure that some archeologist needs your skills to do their job well.

I believe that there is still hope for you.