I’ve seen the worst from both sides. Everyone with either a testicle or an ovary can sit right the fuck down.
But that’s just it, right? Your experience is an outlier in the typical male experience. I myself have never experienced those kinds of things, but I am sorry you have.
The problem is, that women experience these types of things far more than men do. It is wrong that it happens to males as well, but that type of sentiment (hey, guys have it bad too!) is exactly why the slogans “All Lives Matter” versus “Black Lives Matter” is a huge deflection on a problematic issue.
Sure, all lives matter, but when there is a disproportionate amount of black people having actions happen that put their lives in danger, re-framing the argument only serves to obscure that reality even further.
I think it’s important to realize there is a time and place for grievance, and when it is someone trying to relate their struggle, it isn’t helpful to mention “well yeah, I have it bad too”. Imagine saying that to a widower: “you lost your wife? I lost my husband and my son!” Comparing burdens does nothing to address the suffering of another, and it doesn’t bring to light the scope of the issue when it is a group that experiences more adversity than another.
The fact of the matter is, we live in a male-dominated society, and as such we experience a much, much different reality than women do. Same with minority ethnic groups. And to marginalize those already marginalized groups even further by bringing up our (very real at times) struggles feels like a slight to them.
I do believe that there is a very real need to talk about toxic attitudes held towards things that happen towards men, which is important because it is mainly due to our status, these issues are all too often swept under the rug or minimized because those things “don’t happen to men”. That is wrong, and is a very real problem.
Of course everyone has varying experiences, I’m not trying to flatten that fact. When I say “typical” I’m refering to the fact that these types of incidents are more prevailent as an experience by women under the subjegation of a patriarchical culture that gives males a disproportionate amount pf privilege and status in such a society. I myself mentioned in my original post that it isn’t right for this to happen to men any more than women, but I think it’s disingenuous to claim these are equivalent experiences. I mentioned minorities and prejudice, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to state that racism against white people, while it does exist, is a much different thing then what is experienced by minorities. Trying to create a false dichotomy equating male’s experience of sexual harrassment with women’s undermines the severity of the problem by trying to act like it’s a gender neutral issue, it isn’t. We can address both, but it would be wrong to conflate both as the same, we can draw parallels and definitely see lessons from each’s perspective, but we can’t paint both with a broad brush if we want to address what is the core issue with both.
Thanks! I see both their points. The comic clearly was intended to point out women’s issues but if men resonate with that that’s fair too. There was a lot of gross stuff though in the rest of the thread(s). I wouldn’t say pizzacake was totally out of line, but it wasn’t particularly empathic, the way she responded. The comments by defensive men though… very wrong place, wrong time.
At first, I thought people were exaggerating by calling her comics a strawman, as the situation mentioned in the comic above happens too commonly.
I did a little digging and found this deleted thread.
https://archive.is/xfVPD
To my surprise she turned out exactly like people she seems to be calling out.
Edit: added url
Edit 2: She didn’t respond and went radio silent on people who shared their experience and called her out.
Edit 3 : Found this in the same thread
deleted by creator
But that’s just it, right? Your experience is an outlier in the typical male experience. I myself have never experienced those kinds of things, but I am sorry you have.
The problem is, that women experience these types of things far more than men do. It is wrong that it happens to males as well, but that type of sentiment (hey, guys have it bad too!) is exactly why the slogans “All Lives Matter” versus “Black Lives Matter” is a huge deflection on a problematic issue.
Sure, all lives matter, but when there is a disproportionate amount of black people having actions happen that put their lives in danger, re-framing the argument only serves to obscure that reality even further.
I think it’s important to realize there is a time and place for grievance, and when it is someone trying to relate their struggle, it isn’t helpful to mention “well yeah, I have it bad too”. Imagine saying that to a widower: “you lost your wife? I lost my husband and my son!” Comparing burdens does nothing to address the suffering of another, and it doesn’t bring to light the scope of the issue when it is a group that experiences more adversity than another.
The fact of the matter is, we live in a male-dominated society, and as such we experience a much, much different reality than women do. Same with minority ethnic groups. And to marginalize those already marginalized groups even further by bringing up our (very real at times) struggles feels like a slight to them.
I do believe that there is a very real need to talk about toxic attitudes held towards things that happen towards men, which is important because it is mainly due to our status, these issues are all too often swept under the rug or minimized because those things “don’t happen to men”. That is wrong, and is a very real problem.
deleted by creator
Of course everyone has varying experiences, I’m not trying to flatten that fact. When I say “typical” I’m refering to the fact that these types of incidents are more prevailent as an experience by women under the subjegation of a patriarchical culture that gives males a disproportionate amount pf privilege and status in such a society. I myself mentioned in my original post that it isn’t right for this to happen to men any more than women, but I think it’s disingenuous to claim these are equivalent experiences. I mentioned minorities and prejudice, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to state that racism against white people, while it does exist, is a much different thing then what is experienced by minorities. Trying to create a false dichotomy equating male’s experience of sexual harrassment with women’s undermines the severity of the problem by trying to act like it’s a gender neutral issue, it isn’t. We can address both, but it would be wrong to conflate both as the same, we can draw parallels and definitely see lessons from each’s perspective, but we can’t paint both with a broad brush if we want to address what is the core issue with both.
deleted by creator
Literally undressing you with her eyes.
Edit: i guess the old “literally” jokes died off.
https://www.pimsleur.com/blog/use-of-word-literally/?srsltid=AfmBOorFFEbtZP-pPTHtAzce8K68boLrWM5_Tdu53uZbqiCR0X0kEmK9
Practically literally undressing
Removed by mod
Which deleted thread? The link takes me to an entire post and scrolling through that many comments seems a bit pointless.
4th from the top.
Thanks! I see both their points. The comic clearly was intended to point out women’s issues but if men resonate with that that’s fair too. There was a lot of gross stuff though in the rest of the thread(s). I wouldn’t say pizzacake was totally out of line, but it wasn’t particularly empathic, the way she responded. The comments by defensive men though… very wrong place, wrong time.