They use minor slurs against minorities and are obsessed with fox news…and now are fully brainwashed :(

Father was a systematically abusive pig.

Mother allowed it to happen for far too long.

I cut contact after finding out the latter was on the mailing list for the Nazi Regime of America. (Republicans, Students for ‘Life’ etc.)

Finding the Trump coins while helping her move. She’s asking me for money after sending hers to a racist conman.

That, and teaching my young daughter the N-word.

When it was a younger sibling getting the beatings. When it was targeted a me, I always justified it thinking I must have done something to deserve it. But watching the attention turn to the younger, I realized there was nothing us kids could do to be “good enough”.

When my best friend started crying hysterically and begging to sleep over at our place because she knew she’d be severely beaten at home that night (for losing a hat at school that day). Not only was she not allowed to sleep over, but I was told off for asking. They did nothing about the abuse she told us about.

If I hadn’t known then I’d have known 2 years after when she screamed at me for going out of my way to save a kitten.

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Remember my dad spilling strong acid ruining the living room which I later found out was intended for my mom.

To this day I can’t help but cringe when people equate middle eastern issues to western issues. This shit is not even the same planet - the whole region is like a century behind at least despite all the money and development and is fundamentally a failed culture.

When I got to know my gf’s mom and realized I didn’t have massive levels of stress and anxiety around her like I do with my mom.

It took a long time for me. I knew they did mean things but when you are raised like that it seems normal. The real breaking point is when I realized my mother was abusing my autistic son the same way she had me. They both died last year and I didn’t go to either funeral. My dad would often get in my face and scream at me while my mother would destroy anything I loved. If she gave me a present in a few years it would be gone. She would have and would be “saving it” for me. I have nothing from my childhood. I don’t have my class ring ‘she bought’ because I would just lose it was always the excuse. My dad was little different. I had a heart attack and got behind on my house payments. My dad ‘helped’ me out buy taking over the loan. When I signed both him and the POS bank guy told me it was just them adding him to the loan but it was them cutting me out. I could go on and on but the first sentence is your answer. I would like to add they were physically abusive up until I was fourteen. At that point I was absurdly strong for my age due to being my dads ‘slow gaited mule’ in his scrap business. He never passed up a chance to tell me I wasn’t good enough. I just wish I would have realized how badly they feared me after I picked something up that few could and put it in the back of a truck. I did this because he was having a full meltdown and I was scared of him.

I saw two of my friends joking with their father and realised they weren’t afraid of him.

Around the time my kids were graduating from highschool, she always made it seem like being a mom was this monumental task that no reasonable person could ever do well, just unbearably difficult so to cope you’d need to scream at and emotionally abuse your children or you’d never survive. There are two modes of mothering, ignoring your child or screaming at your child. My mom kept me fairly isolated and wouldn’t drive me anywhere despite living in along distance to nothing but other houses mostly filled with older couples so I never really got to see how “normal” families work or how other kids interacted with their parents, if I ever did manage to get an invite to a new friends house or an after school activity was forbidden from participating. Raising kids though, wow, such an incredible eye opener to just how easy kids are to love, how easy it is to raise children when you’re a sane and consistent parent. Motherhood isn’t inherently a screaming match between you and a child who never asked to be there that you hate because of their mere existence. Sure not everyone is cut out to be a mom, of course, but to present abuse as both normal and justified is evil. I don’t care how bad she had it as a kid, she was obligated to protect me from that just like I was obligated to protect my kids from the things she did to me. She was an early childhood education teacher and I’ve come to realize it’s because anyone over the age of ~4 is too much of a human being for her to handle, she only wants completely subservient, physically small children around because she can dominate them and any other social interaction that she’s not dominating the other person is intolerable to her. She’s a pathetic person truly

Mom always thought she was a good person and not racist. The cracks started to show when she’d express options on Facebook, like that sure, black people go to jail for much longer that white people for the same crimes, but it’s their fault for being criminals.

Lots of little things like that. I started therapy in my late 20s for anger management. A couple months in, my parents and brother came from out of state to visit. It was a Bad Time. My mom and brother kept needling me constantly. They mocked my opinions. They told me I was wrong about local facts. They asked a local for directions then mocked him for having a Boston accent. In Boston.

The several-day visit ended with me driving them back to their hotel room and my mom telling me the whole trip had been a waste, we were probably the sort of family that should only see each other at funerals, preferably hers.

Poor dad was hard of hearing, so missed a lot of what was said. He apologized for any part he played in it.

A few years later in December 2020, my mom brought COVID home from what she described as a mandatory work Christmas breakfast potluck. My dad caught it from her and spent a month in hospital. I don’t know how mandatory that potluck could have been, tbh–she retired a few months later after my dad died. She was all shocked Pikachu that my dad, who was known to be immunocompromised, could die from COVID.

She also lamented to me, the week before he died, that dating as a widow sucks. Either you date too soon and everyone thinks it’s inappropriate OR you don’t and everyone thinks you’re sad. (Not saying she shouldn’t have thought ahead to her widowhood, but don’t say these things to your kid.)

Anyways, she sucks and is blocked on my phone. She could email if she cared. My dad was the Good Parent and he had his warts, but he at least tried to relate to me and explain things instead of just assuming I could read minds.

i started realizing more and more that my father’s jokes were racist. then i started noticing that his normal speech and interactions were racist.

i was brought up with this racism as a norm, so it took me a long time to realize we were a racist family (longer than i would like to admit).

then after a realizing how racist we were, i put two and two together… my father is a police officer.

I was bemoaning the lack of action on global warming, and how all of civilization was at risk if we didn’t take action now, and my boomer mom replied,

“Why should I care? I’ll be dead by then!” 😞

People on here would probably think my parents are evil but I just think they are from a different generation. There’s only so much adaptation a human brain can do in a lifetime and at some point your views will be set in stone if you’ve been alive since the 1950s.