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schizoidman@lemm.ee to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 14 days ago

New Device Mounts to Your Toilet to Analyze Your Turds Using the Power of AI

futurism.com

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  • cross-posted to:
  • dailycyberpunk
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New Device Mounts to Your Toilet to Analyze Your Turds Using the Power of AI

futurism.com

schizoidman@lemm.ee to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 14 days ago
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  • cross-posted to:
  • dailycyberpunk
A new company backed by Lance Armstrong just raised $4 million dollars to track your stool and urine using artificial intelligence.
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  • SkavarSharraddas@gehirneimer.de
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    14 days ago

    Poop jokes and big tech’s data hunger aside, this seems to me one of the more useful applications of AI: Checking for early signs of medical problems.

    • phant@lemmy.world
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      I have Crohns. This would help monitor disease activity for sure. And having more data could help understand triggers better.

    • Modern_medicine_isnt@lemmy.world
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      14 days ago

      During covid, cities were testing the sewage to get an idea how many people had covid. We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting, and it could route the waste to a personal testing chamber.

      • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org
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        14 days ago

        We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting

        Or just an extra upward facing camera.

        Kids in 2050: “Everybody knows the myth that no two buttholes look alike is just an urban legend to convince you to reverse image search your butthole against the TOTO leak of 2034.”

      • jagged_circle@feddit.nl
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        13 days ago

        Covid is still a pandemic and sewage is still being tested to monitor for spikes of cases in countries which have stopped funding rapid antigen tests

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      14 days ago

      …Uranus.

      BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHJCTJDYHVDHV!!!

  • RattlerSix@lemmy.world
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    14 days ago

    I don’t want Big Tech having access to my sacred turd data

    • jagged_circle@feddit.nl
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      13 days ago

      I see no reason for it to be cloud based. I’m sure all the analysis can be done locally

      • Waggles@lemmy.world
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        13 days ago

        How will line go up then? Tech isn’t cheap to research/implement and investors will require returns asap. At least here in the US 🫠

        • jagged_circle@feddit.nl
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          13 days ago

          This isnt complicated tech. should be pretty easy for some poop enthusiast to hack up an open source version.

  • chickenf622@sh.itjust.works
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    14 days ago

    Can’t believe they’re making the smart pipe a reality https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ

    • troybot [he/him]@midwest.social
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      14 days ago

      AI toilet is a registered sex offender

    • qupada@fedia.io
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      It’s distressing just how freaking similar the sales pitch is too.

      What I’m loathed to even call the “real product”: It’s time to stop flushing away valuable data.

      The fake one: If I had information that could save your life or the life of your family members, would you flush that?

      Just… wow

  • JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    When you finally become sentient only to discover your purpose is to compare logs of shit

    • HairyHarry@lemmy.world
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      14 days ago

      • Quadhammer@lemmy.world
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        Not just the big dookers. The green globbers and the brown bombers, too

    • N0t_5ure@lemmy.world
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      14 days ago

  • NutWrench@lemmy.ml
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    13 days ago

    Will the toilet refuse to flush without a subscription?

    • A7thStone@lemmy.world
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      13 days ago

      It’s out of magenta.

      • SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de
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        Weird. I see lots of red

  • JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world
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    14 days ago

    The billions spent chasing these unicorns could be so much better used to lift communities out of poverty and give clean water and housing to thousands. Our priorities are fucked.

    • JennyLaFae@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.

      • RobotZap10000@feddit.nl
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        But where are we supposed to find dirt-cheap labor if we eradicate poverty?! Won’t someone think of the shareholders?

      • JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world
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        And yet…

      • Aux@feddit.uk
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        But everyone doesn’t want to live in a post-scarcity society. Lack of survival challenge leads to mental degradation.

  • _core@sh.itjust.works
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    I’m honestly surprised they use Bluetooth for profiles. I figured it would scan your asshole and use that as a biometric like your retina.

  • dlhextall@sh.itjust.works
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    7 days ago

    Isn’t that Smart Pipe?

  • dan80@lemmy.ca
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    What if multiple people use the toilet? Does this device have some sort of poop-id?

    • jagged_circle@feddit.nl
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      Hopefully with a strong passphrase too. I don’t want my mother in law to see my poop history when they come over.

      Edit: actually, I don’t want to see theirs either D:

  • treadful@lemmy.zip
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    Doing QA for this company must be the most unusual job.

    • Norin@lemmy.world
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      “So, Greg, what do you do for work?”

      “Uhhhh…. I’m the control group for AI toilets.”

      • thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org
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        "but it’s not all bad. They pay me to sit on the shitter a couple times a day and I only blacked out … once? twice! "

    • socsa@piefed.social
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      I actually interviewed for a data science role with this company a couple years ago. They were definitely cagey about what the actual product was for the initial screenings and then when they finally opened up about the role and …duties… of poop data scientist, it was actually pretty funny.

  • shaquilleoatmeal@lemm.ee
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    Where all AIs belong.

  • Mushroomm@sh.itjust.works
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    Now these are the AI headlines I dreamed of so many years ago

  • Scroll Responsibly@lemmy.sdf.org
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    Smart pipe?

    • Burninator05@lemmy.world
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      They just need to find their own Scout Condor and they’ll have everyone checking the nitrates in their stool.

    • *dust.sys@lemmy.world
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      Smart Pipe.

      • M0oP0o@mander.xyz
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        Smart pipe

        Oh, and it’s also the only technology to be a registered sex offender.

  • N0t_5ure@lemmy.world
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  • foggy@lemmy.world
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    Just gonna check ya asshole

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