transcription: holy shit please stop talking about how you want an ancient elf of vampire girlfriend, you cant even pull women your own age, what on earth makes you think you could impress someone whos lived for centuries?

  • Rose@slrpnk.netEnglish
    2·
    18 hours ago

    I’m 46 years old. I’ve been on the Internet for a long time. You’ve seen one dick pic, you’ve seen 'em all. I could start a meticulous catalogue for comparative purposes. But I will not. For I am kind.

  • smorty/maria [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    7·
    1 day ago

    ;(

    no need to be - dis mean…

    yis i kno ive got lil chances at all - yis i see it n im nt buildin up any hop - congrats - bt lik -

    … dis is… - i didn expect u to go dis far.

  • twice_hatch@midwest.socialEnglish
    22·
    2 days ago

    I’m hoping she’s a narcissist with a fragile ego who can’t stand her own kind and has repeated failed relationships with humans as a predatory thing

      • Joncash2@lemmy.mlEnglish
        77·
        2 days ago

        You know what, fuck it, I would love to be their pet. I’m not even talking in a sexual manner. Think about how we humans treat pets. I don’t like working and suffering through life. Why would I not want an ancient creature to take care of all my needs while I sloth around and do nothing. God, ancient creatures, take me as your beloved pet!

        • djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
          7·
          18 hours ago

          The problem is that you’re thinking about how humans treat their pets, and not how the ageless immortal creature with morals beyond our comprehension treats pets.

          It’ll still probably be better than the horrors of capitalism, but it could still be an abusive relationship.

          • Joncash2@lemmy.mlEnglish
            4·
            16 hours ago

            Well, I’m mostly on escaping this awful ride we call capitalism. Even if there’s some mild torture, still a ok.

            • Zyratoxx@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
              1·
              46 minutes ago

              Uhm OK, I definitely do not do that to them. Consent is important and my pets can not consent. But if I was a pet I could consent. But anyways I was merely referencing to the Smosh song :')

        • Omega@discuss.onlineEnglish
          1·
          20 hours ago

          Which school of thought made you, oh so sublime philosopher, so wise in the realm of relationships?

        • Denvil@lemmy.mlEnglish
          12·
          2 days ago

          Why can’t we just have what that one Greek philosopher (or whoever it was) predicted, and just sloth around and have orgies all day.

          I mean idk about an orgy, but I’d love to have robots do all the work while humans can just kinda chill, pursue whatever we want at whatever pace we want.

          Edit: Being free to do what we want wasn’t actually part of it from what I see after a quick google search, it was Plato who argued we should just have rigged lotteries to select only the best candidates selected “fairly” for creating offspring in state sanctioned orgies, and sacrifice all the other offspring. But still… robots doing everything would be pretty dope.

          • Joncash2@lemmy.mlEnglish
            10·
            2 days ago

            Here’s something horrifying, we already have, your just not in the right class of people. We are the leftovers. The ones living Plato’s dream already exists. Just look at Elon with his hundred children and tell me that’s not his existence already. The issue is for him to exist, the rest of us must suffer. That’s the problem, we are the sacrifice. So fuck it, I want the vampire mommy to make me a pet. Sex, no sex, still better than living through Plato’s nightmare.

  • ThotDragon@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    31·
    2 days ago

    It’s not the getting of women that’s the problem. It’s that due to circumstances and bad habits/poor boundary policing, I almost always end up supporting them. A relationship with an ancient, ageless creature seems like it has the chance to be them supporting me and I’d like to experience that. I think it would be a nice break. Plus I’m not that expensive either.