Not a MD. IME this form of social anxiety, while not exclusive to NDs, is indeed common for us.
As to why, the simplest explanation is that it’s a corollary of divergence itself that we internalize early on: in spite of my motive, effort, or attempts at masking, I am just incapable of truly understanding or perhaps even accurately predicting the thoughts and feelings of others, and vice-versa. The self-isolation OOP describes then easily follows, since the best/safest bet is against yourself until proven otherwise.
Personally what disabused me of this behavior was the realization that most people, including NTs, have their own analog of it. That is, many feel like outsiders for various reasons unrelated to ND, and they similarly self-exclude. It’s a useful realization because it lets you cut the knot by giving others what you wanted yourself.
ETA: Specifically, when you focus on others’ inclusion, you (A) create the same for yourself to an equal or greater extent, and (B) over time find it less important that they reciprocate equally than whether you succeed in communicating that they belong. Many things become easier after that.
Exactly how I search for jobs.
A lot of this “Neuro divergent” stuff kids make memes about these days is actually just a normal human experience.
that’s like telling a blind person they’re faking it because you need glasses
No, that’s like telling a person faking it, they are faking it.
how are you just gonna disagree with all of medicine and science lmao
Science and medicine are saying meme making kids are autistic?
Normal people are more comfortable to be with others than to be by themselfes. For neurodiverse, it’s the reverse.
Not necessarily, plenty of completely typical people enjoy spending time alone, and many neurodiverse people thrive in social settings.
Sure, it was a overgeneralization, since there are all kinds of neurodiverse.
Reminder that being gay, a woman with opinions, or a slave who wanted freedom, all used to be mental illnesses as well. What is and isn’t a mental illness largely depends on social norms.
I think the key thing there that tips off they weren’t really illnesses/disabilities was that those caused other people issues and discomfort, not the people “suffering” from them.
You are comparing people making memes about feeling slightly bothered because of a small inconvenience with some of the biggest human rights fights.
I’m not gonna … 😁
You do know mentally (and physically) “ill/disabled” are and have always been the next in line, right?
And yes, it’s largely things that are actually pretty normal and human in and of themselves. Just not normal enough.
Jesus Christ.
I’m not attacking you or saying you’re wrong for how you see things. Sometimes the memes are just a way to communicate and normalize human existence. Social bias is social bias no matter who it’s against, why it’s against them, or to what degree. It’s a slippery slope to considering others to be worth less for the ways that they are.
Indeed, however it might be dialed up to like 300% of neurotypicals and literally damaging your body.
So yes, some things are relatable or the typical ‘ah yes I have that sometimes’ but in absolute unrelatable overdrive.
And trilializing traits under which people are suffering can sometimes be really discouraging or worsening depression.
Sure, but I’m not standing next to a group of miserable “neurodivergent” kids, pointing and laughing, but dissing a meme that maybe 100 people will see and even that only because it’s got comments under it (because 3 people got offended by my comment).
This whole thing should be a meme about how eger people are to get offended even if there is nothing there. Maybe it’s because Lemmy is so small, so there isn’t that much to get that fix from. Something worth while to think about.
have you considered that maybe if 3 different people “get offended” by your comment, it might be cause you’re an asshole and expressing your views in a really dick-ish way and invalidating a whole group of people? Food for thought, maybe do some introspection
Seconded.
No, I don’t usually go consider absurdities under dumb meme posts. I’m sure people that make those are very fragile people, but without criticism, how will they grow. More food for thought.
But lets step out of this funny little exchange of ours. I think it’s great what the topic is. It can’t be more irrelevant and pointless than this I think. Like any other month Python sketch, it’s best when it’s short so it ends before it gets tedious. So, bye, good luck, have a great day.
Sure, but I’m not standing next to a group of miserable “neurodivergent” kids
You might not be standing “next to” a group of three neurodivergent kids.
You might be standing in a group of four “normal” kids, and wondering why the other three are calling themselves neurodivergent.
I’m not wondering one way or the other. The only thing I’m wondering is why we are so boring to make such a dumb thing a topic. It’s hard to think about something that deserves less time than this meme.
It’s hard to think about something that deserves less time than this meme
And yet here you are.
Yes, here we are 😁
I think sometimes the stars align and strange groups of people gather in one place by some tragic coincidence.
Classic, not thinking something through before posting a dismissive comment. Lots of things are a normal part of existence, but quantity matters.
It’s normal for people to cry, but if you’re crying all the time and it’s keeping you from living your life, there is something else going on.
It’s normal for everyone to have to take a shit suddenly sometimes, but if it’s happening so often you have to plan your life around it, there is something else going on, and if you’re shiting yourself to death, you might have dysentery.
I’m not saying I agree with all the stuff that the kids these days are saying about neurodivergence, but I am saying that you show a remarkable lack of critical thinking and ability to contextualize.
I’m saying you are bored and didn’t find anything to trigger you, so you went way way out of your way to get offended by what I wrote, then went in with an insult to try to get this thing going.
You get a smile out of me. 🙂 Be well, take care, bye.
Yeah we are all bored, that’s why we are posting comments on Lemmy.
This commenter is suggesting there is another possible reason why you identify so closely with neurodivergent people: you may not be as neurotypical as you once thought.
I wish you a pleasant mental problem that you’re dismissive of
You wish me a mental problem…
That’s weird, but ok. This one in OP Lol? That’s not really anything close to being one.
Take it easy and have a wonderful day. Bye.
They are saying that your understanding of what constitutes a “normal human experience” is being understood through the lens of your own neurodivergency.
When you smell dogshit as you walk past your neighbor’s house, at the intersection, all down the next block, at the park, at the corner market, and everywhere else you go, the problem might not be a pack of wild dogs shitting everywhere in town. It might just be your own shoes.
Being scared of rejection is an inherently human reaction to desire. Famously explored constantly in media throughout history. Bitterness is borne on the back of rejection. Joy comes briefly on acceptance. The anxiety of indecision supplies either motivation or a hopeless mire.
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.
painfully accurate for me.
Not only to be sure they want to talk to me but also to be sure we are still friends. I swear to god I never know, and when I risk t, it’s still feels like a 50/50 for me.
And you can’t just ask because, like measuring a quantum system, measurement perturbs the system.
And then you get an invite from a person you would have thought you aren’t friends with, based on their behavior. Time to start a game I like to call: “Is it an invite out of politeness/because of a social norm I’m missing or is this an actual invite because we are friends and I missed that”
This is correct.
Ahhh… if only it was just talking… In my late 20s, talking to a girl (now married) about our high school days, she told me that by the time she liked me but I didn’t answer to her “signals” so she thought I wasn’t into her (I was, so badly). I wasn’t sure so I never asked her out even though, apparently, it was clear to everyone else.
This also represents my history of kisses when young, or lack thereof due to the same.
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🙋♂️
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