• NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone
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    38 分钟前

    This is kind of like how parents don’t let their kids play out anymore because the news told us it’s all pedophiles out there.

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      3 小时前

      Seeing memes and comics like this spread so often, I am having a hard time understanding how SO MANY GUYS are just now discovering that women aren’t as horny as they are and we have different standards for attraction between the genders and sexes.

      This is fine, it’s normal, people who want different things still meet and crank out crotchfruit every damn day, you just have to compromise and meet in the middle on what you both want and ya’ll have to get over yourselves.

      • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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        2 小时前

        Yep. When will people understand that the only way to a good and just society is to treat half the human population as inherently monstrous from birth? They should just resign themselves to a lifetime of abuse and isolation due to their physical characteristics. Anything else is misogyny.

        • ameancow@lemmy.world
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          2 小时前

          I promise if you just talk to girls you will meet one who likes you. It doesn’t even matter what you’re into, there’s someone for everyone out there.

          • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world
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            2 小时前

            This isn’t about me, it’s about a shitty, abusive message being repeated constantly on social media. Thanks for pulling an imaginary biography for me out of your ass, though. Really helpful.

  • obrien_must_suffer@lemmy.world
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    7 小时前

    It’s a sad reality, but women literally risk life and limb by meeting a strange man. Dating platforms are crawling with predators, when one is identified it can take weeks or months to remove the account. Be patient out there gentlemen.

    • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 小时前

      Of course it doesn’t feel great to think that people are uncomfortable and threatened just being aware that you are a single man who exists in the same environment, but if that’s how it’s gotta be, how do you successfully communicate that you are not a threat?

    • nectar45@lemmy.zip
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      2 小时前

      “Be patient out there gentlemen”

      Naahhh…just give up on finding anyone

    • MissJinx@lemmy.world
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      Dating platforms are LIFE is crawling with predators

      he FTFY

      Edit: Just to add “predator” is not only the psycho that will kill/rape a woman. Any men that do not accept a NO, that thinks they are “playing hard to get”, that catcalls a woman in the streets, ta makes an unsolicited comment about their body, that thinks woman are ment to do whatever they want… any of those men are predators.

      Any men is a comment away from being a predator. Don’t be this man

      • obrien_must_suffer@lemmy.world
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        7 小时前

        That’s a good strategy. The first time I met my wife in person, she arranged to have a friend call and check in and give her excuse to bounce if things weren’t’ right.

      • DarkCloud@lemmy.world
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        6 小时前

        Wait… Because so many of them turned out to be predators?.. On the first date? Like it was THAT common?

        How many times did you have to step in and stop things?

          • DarkCloud@lemmy.world
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            3 小时前

            Yeah it’s the whole poison M&Ms thing… Would you keep eating if you knew just one might kill you.

            But I guess IRL dating still happens, so we clearly do have a drive to persist and try. Story of humanity I guess.

        • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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          The stats on these things exist.

          But nobody likes to talk about them, because they don’t line up with the ‘men are all evil’ narrative.

          Women are way more likely to get assaulted by someone already in their life than a random stranger. That stat makes people VERY uncomfortable. Much harder to imagine your uncle or your co-worker will assault you than some random guy on the street…

          • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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            3 小时前

            People you’re on a first date with count as people in your life, not as strangers in those polls, iirc.

            • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              56 分钟前

              No, not generally, no.

              It means your immediate and extended family, people you live with, people you’ve known and interacted regularly with for 2+ years… people who you have had a consistent relationship with for some time.

              And also these aren’t like… ‘polls’, in the derogatory sense of a dubious or poor quality one.

              They’re crime stats, and academic reviews of them.

              The public image of rape is of the proverbial stranger attacking a woman in an alleyway. While such rapes do occur, most rapes actually happen between people who know each other. A wide body of research finds that 60–80 percent of all rapes and sexual assaults are committed by someone the woman knows, including husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends, and ex-boyfriends, and only 20–35 percent by strangers (Barkan, 2012). A woman is thus two to four times more likely to be raped by someone she knows than by a stranger.

              https://courses.lumenlearning.com/suny-hccc-socialproblems/chapter/4-4-violence-against-women-rape-and-sexual-assault/

              (This is a bit old, but the citation for Barkan 2012 is a literal Criminology textbook, used to teach Criminology… it keeps getting updated and revised, but I am not able to find the entire text of the most up to date version available freely.)

              A first date is a stranger, I guess possibly unless this is a first physical date after a prolonged long-distance relationship.

              A boyfriend, husband, or ex… is not a stranger, in the sense of a person you have no substantial relational history with.

              Also, if we are talking about domestic abuse, violence committed by people in a substantial relationship, toward their partner:

              IPV is common. It affects millions of people in the United States each year. Data from CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS) indicate:

              About 41% of women and 26% of men experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime and reported a related impact.

              Over 61 million women and 53 million men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

              https://www.cdc.gov/intimate-partner-violence/about/index.html

              (You may note this page was last updated before DOGE did its DEI purge of online US gov data, looks to me like this survived it unaltered, I’ve been using this page as a citation every so often for years when discussions like this pop up.)

              So yeah, this is obviously a big problem for women… but more than half as many men have been victims of that first, very serious category of IPV as women, and something like 7/8ths as many men have been psychologically abused as women, by a partner.

              When you take into account that genrerally heteronormative machismo dissuades men from reporting psych abuse, and that… many places in the US still don’t consider a woman forcing a man to have sex with them against their will… to even be rape / SA …

              …yeah, I mean, the proverbial ‘win’ probably still goes to men for being just overall more likely to do IPV, but the margins of that ‘win’ are way more narrow than most people seem to think.

              Another factor that is very prevalent to IPV that is rarely emphasized by society:

              A whole lot of relationships involving IPV have two guilty parties, both are abusive (like, legally, often criminally), the entire relationship, both parties to it, are toxic.

            • DarkCloud@lemmy.world
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              3 小时前

              Wouldn’t that depend on the quality and source of the poll? Like in academia when there’s a publication with a poll (generally called a survey) - they usually publish a methodology section which states how things are being defined/asked.

              Methodologies between surveys aren’t universal, so I don’t think it makes sense to speak of “all polls”.

              • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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                3 小时前

                Obviously. The majority of them that I’ve seen group people into friends, acquaintances, strangers, partners, colleagues, and family. First dates are acquaintances.

                • DarkCloud@lemmy.world
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                  3 小时前

                  Nah, if it’s a first meeting surely that’s a stranger. Like those researchers are using a flawed methodology if they’ve assumed everyone tells the truth about themselves online. Clearly a flawed idea. Doesn’t sound very academic to me.

        • Rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world
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          6 小时前

          I’ve heard total horror stories from exes and friends. First date weirdos and creeps are absolutely a common thing. Never hurts to be safe, especially in such a non-obtrusive way!

          • DarkCloud@lemmy.world
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            5 小时前

            I feel like weirdo, creepy, and predator, are three different terms. I kinda like weirdos, the other two not so much. Predators are the worst.

            I think the internet and the collecting of anecdotes that everyone probably has (I have some), can sometimes construct a self-selecting criteria that paints the world to sound worse than it is.

            I just sometimes worry that online, or in anecdotes we’re using a selection criteria that takes humanity, and make the worst of it stand out to the point nothing is worth doing, no one is worth sparing or dating.

            Of course there are unambiguous cases of horrible predators. But here’s to the weirdos and even some of the creeps, may your social skills dramatically improve through the stories you ended up in, and may you never lose your way and become predators.

            • Rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world
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              4 小时前

              I think it was fairly clear from what I said about “horror stories” that I didn’t mean harmless and fun weird people.

              • DarkCloud@lemmy.world
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                3 小时前

                I think weirdo, basically means we have different standards of behaviour, and/or humour.

                Creep, means they wanted to have sex with me and I didn’t want to have sex with them.

                Predator, means they’re stalking or pestering me.

                So like I guess I just don’t have weirdo “horror” stories (they’d be escalated to creep, horror is creepy or involves predators). But you seem more like you’re willing to mix all the terms into a stew of bad. Understandable.

                Anyways, thanks for the discussion. 🙏

        • West_of_West@piefed.social
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          5 小时前

          I never had to actually step in for her. She’d just casually mention I was a friend, or introduce me, if things weren’t good. Apparently, that settled things down.

          We would occasionally get people who couldn’t take a hint and we’d tossed them out when there were a complaints.

  • don@lemmy.ca
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    7 小时前

    Holy shit, ad blockers are a thing, people. ublock origin and SponsorBlock for a safer, happier life! Browsing anything without blockers is akin to dripping dimethyl mercury on your genitalia, crossing your fingers, and wildly hoping for the best.

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
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      3 小时前

      Gender-ragebait. Just post something about how persecuted you feel and move on.

    • slaacaa@lemmy.world
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      6 小时前

      “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them“

        • rowdy@lemmy.zip
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          7 小时前

          I must’ve missed that part. Where does it say that only single men commit rape? Oh right it doesn’t. But you got defensive…. Which is suspect to say the least.

            • ameancow@lemmy.world
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              3 小时前

              Been like that on the internet since 4chan started breeding incels and cranking them into the world.

              The best and worst things in the world came from Somethingawful back in the early 2000’s, we are still suffering the repercussions, up to and including the election of Trump.

          • callouscomic@lemmy.zip
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            5 小时前

            Its Cyanide and Happiness. The comics history means we can safely assume the dark humor version is probably what they were going for.

            • snooggums@lemmy.world
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              6 小时前

              I always forget that going over the top with exaggeration will fly over the heads of the angriest people.

          • Draces@lemmy.world
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            6 小时前

            Where does it say that only single men commit rape

            You mean the punchline?

            • rowdy@lemmy.zip
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              5 小时前

              That’s not the punchline. The audience doesn’t even know if the man on the laptop is a rapist, could be a stand up dude. The punchline is that you can’t market sex to women the same way you market sex to men. Why? Well maybe you should ask a woman.

              • callouscomic@lemmy.zip
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                5 小时前

                Knowing this comic series, I think the punchline is that it guns up controversy and people waste effort arguing about it.

              • Draces@lemmy.world
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                5 小时前

                She’s locking the door. There’s more implication than failing to sell sex to women there

          • snooggums@lemmy.world
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            6 小时前

            It was a joke, maybe you have heard of them?

            I’ve been married for two decades and just thought it would be funny if someone read way too much into the singles part. It isn’t like BTK, Trump, and other married rapists aren’t well known.

  • kurwa@lemmy.world
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    4 小时前

    It’s crazy how women say, “I don’t feel safe around men” and then men scream, “But not all men!!1!!1 I didn’t do it! Not me!!!” like why do y’all act like you’ve been wronged when women don’t want to be raped and assaulted? Stop making it about yourself.

    • w3dd1e@lemmy.zip
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      In college, I saw a sign that said something like 1 in 6 women will be sexually assaulted. Based on conversations with women around me and my own experiences, I’m pretty sure it’s actually 6 in 6 women.

      Before you get upset, yes, I am aware men get assaulted too. That’s not okay either.

      • poofkaboom@feddit.nl
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        5 小时前

        I agree with this. Problem is that it is not done by most men, but this post makes it seem like most of them do or want to.

        • ameancow@lemmy.world
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          but this post makes it seem like most of them do or want to.

          The people commenting on the post are making this implication, the comic itself is bland and dumb and has been overplayed for the last 30 years as a pretty standard joke about the differences between men and women and doesn’t really make a suggestion beyond “men and women have different concerns.”

          The problem is we are all internalizing both perspectives in the most toxic, anti-social ways imaginable and isolating ourselves more and more and making the divide worse and worse every year.

        • w3dd1e@lemmy.zip
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          5 小时前

          Interesting. I interpreted it differently.

          I saw it as women experience assault at such high levels, that they feel unsafe around strangers.

          Whereas, men see it as an exciting opportunity, full of possibilities. Not necessarily that they intend to commit assault.

        • meliaesc@lemmy.world
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          5 小时前

          This post makes it seem that women need to prepare for assault even if not everyone will assault them.

    • rowdy@lemmy.zip
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      7 小时前

      Women would literally rather be stuck with a bear rather than a man they do not know. So, is it sexism? Or is there a fundamental problem (read patriarchy) that makes women scared of men.

      Do you think it’s sexist to report that men commit 90% of all rape and sexual assault?

      • RedPandaRaider@feddit.org
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        5 小时前

        That is way more than just patriarchal society. If a woman would rather be stuck in a room with a bear than a man she doesn’t know, there’s something psychologically wrong with that woman.

        The only way you’d choose a bear over a stranger is if you have a prejudice that all men are violent or rapists. Because the bear will most likely kill you.

        • rowdy@lemmy.zip
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          33 分钟前

          Bears are predictable, they will probably run from you or maul you. They don’t kill for pleasure, they don’t keep you alive for a game, they don’t torture you.

          The point is a women doesn’t know you, or what your capable of. They do know what bears are capable of.

          Women are painfully aware it’s “not all men”. But women also can’t read minds and don’t know your intentions. Can you really blame someone for erring on the side of caution?

          Choosing the bear over a stranger isn’t prejudice, it’s avoiding the fear of the unknown.

      • Velypso@sh.itjust.works
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        6 小时前

        Its about as sexist to say that, as it is racist to spout crime statistics about black people without solution.

        • rowdy@lemmy.zip
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          6 小时前

          Okay not sexist at all then. Because there’s nothing racist about crime statistics about black people.

          What people might do or say in regards to those statistics is typically where the racism comes in.

          • Velypso@sh.itjust.works
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            6 小时前

            In a thread where the discussion is men, spouting statistics without solution is prejudicial.

            Just like it would be racist to do the same thing with black people.

            You’re being purposefully ignorant of the current thread we are in.

            • rowdy@lemmy.zip
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              Oof. I really shouldn’t have to explain the systemic difference between the two.

              Also once again, this comic is making the joke that a strange man could be a rapist, and that women are not interested in strange men the same way men may be interested strange women - not that all single men are rapists.

              You’re purposefully conflating this comic to the level of hating men, and then to the level of using crime statistics to perpetuate systemic racism. Brother you’ve lost the plot.

              • Velypso@sh.itjust.works
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                6 小时前

                Is the patriarchy not a systemic issue?

                Bringing up statistics without a solution is problematic, to say the very least.

                If you have issue with that statement, then you may need to rethink your approach.

                • rowdy@lemmy.zip
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                  YES! We’re getting to the same page. The difference is the patriarchy defends itself. I’ve never seen a black person fight to defend systemic racism.

      • poofkaboom@feddit.nl
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        7 小时前

        So if I am being an asshole, I should make the “logical” jump that all single women are whores and sluts because majority of prostitutes are women.

        Not all men and not all women. Generalising is never good.

        • rowdy@lemmy.zip
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          Yes you are being an asshole thanks for noticing. Also wtf are you on about - no where does it say “ALL SINGLE MEN ARE RAPIST.”

          You saw yourself in this comic and got defensive - that “whores and sluts” line came naturally to you.

          • poofkaboom@feddit.nl
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            7 小时前

            This is the same reaction that I had when I saw the post that says “men are rapists”. I got offended.

          • gaybriel_fr_br@jlai.lu
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            7 小时前

            Lmao, so it’s only an asshole move when men do it. Gotcha. If I’m an asshole no matter what, then you’re a fucking cunt who probably had or would have had her gross face pasted on the Tea app leak.

            • rowdy@lemmy.zip
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              7 小时前

              Ah there you are - this was never about defending men, this was about hating women. Also I’m a man lol

                • rowdy@lemmy.zip
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                  7 小时前

                  Jeez dude you just don’t get it. There isn’t anything wrong with defending men but this comic doesn’t hate men. You thinking it does is part of the problem. This comic isn’t saying that all single men are rapists - hell we don’t even know if the single man they are showing is a rapist. What we, and women, do know is that men commit almost all SA. It’s a fact. The comic is playing into the fact that they market sex at men by saying “look strange women” and men fuck with it. Saying “look strange men” to women doesn’t typically illicit the same response.

                  The fact that you are so upset kinda makes me think you might be represented by this comic.

    • Kairos@lemmy.today
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      8 小时前

      This is like saying that recognizing gay people are assaulted more often is homophobic

    • Velypso@sh.itjust.works
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      6 小时前

      You’ve fallen for the classic blunder.

      By jumping in and commenting, you have proven them right in their minds.

      It’s a thought terminating trap. Women are allowed to call out sexism when they see it against themselves, whereas men are not allowed to call out sexism when they see it against themselves.

      • poofkaboom@feddit.nl
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        6 小时前

        One user called me a rapist for this. Like wtf. How anything defending men can be converted to men are rapist pigs, is fascinating.

    • kadu@lemmy.world
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      7 小时前

      It takes five minutes to find data that shows that this is very much not sexism.

        • kadu@lemmy.world
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          7 小时前

          Number of dangerous outcomes when meeting a new person in a date by gender.

          Violent crime by gender.

          Rape events by gender.

          Domestic break and entering by gender.

          Pick your favorite?

          • gaybriel_fr_br@jlai.lu
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            7 小时前

            Entirely skewed data because there is massive underreporting and discarding of men’s thoughts and emotions when the reverse happens.

            Because of bitches like you.

            • kadu@lemmy.world
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              7 小时前

              Because of bitches like you.

              I’m a man, you moron. Care to provide any proof that data being reliably collected all across the world, using peer reviewed methodology, is flawed? That’s some bold claim. I’d love to see you prove violent crime rates between men and women are actually secretly the same.

              • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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                5 小时前

                Not the same sure, but I have a violent ex and it turns out she actually got one of her exes convicted by faking or possibly creating injuries to herself. Of the men she’s been violent with, nobody has reported her to the police. I know I haven’t. I don’t wanna be convicted of assault lol.

                She proudly tells people how she abused me and I couldn’t do shit because I don’t hurt women, and I couldn’t leave her because she lied about being on the pill to get pregnant so she could abuse me financially too. Took me a while till I realized I can just take the baby and leave if I don’t wanna be a deadbeat. Equal parental rights.

                This kind of shit doesn’t get reported. You’re not a man in the eyes of police if you go report it. You’re a pussy and deserve it. Now CPS though? VERY familiar with her, I’ve gotten multiple people to tell them what’s up.

              • gaybriel_fr_br@jlai.lu
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                6 小时前

                Sure, let me see your counterpoint that you wrote then instead of something you found.

                Oh you can’t ?

                That’s right because you’re a double standards cunt.

          • poofkaboom@feddit.nl
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            7 小时前

            I 100% agree with this data. Men commit more crimes of this nature than women. Problem is not with the data. Problem is that this data is not directly relevant here.

            Most such crimes are committed by men but most men don’t commit such crimes. And the post implies that most men do.

            • kadu@lemmy.world
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              7 小时前

              And the post implies that most men do.

              Not really. The image (which might I remind you is a comic strip, not some article published on Science or an opinion piece on the New York Times) implies that women feel very differently about “random strangers of the opposite sex near you right now!” than men do.

              And that’s true, precisely because of the data you just agreed is valid. If I say to a guy friend “dude you’re not going to believe this, we were invited to a party with 50 girls and we will be the only two men!” he’ll have a profoundly different reaction than if a girl heard from a friend “girl you’re not going to believe this, we were invited to a party with 50 men and we will be the only two girls!”. It doesn’t matter to them, at this point, “oH nOt AlL MeN aRe DaNGeRoUs” what matters is that they’d be in a inherently more dangerous position than men would be in the opposite scenario.

              The comic strip is noticing the difference in gut feeling and reaction, not proposing a thesis on men’s criminality.

            • SacralPlexus@lemmy.world
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              6 小时前

              And the post implies that most men do.”

              I don’t agree this is the implication. The comic is juxtaposing how men might see a bunch of single women as an opportunity whereas women might see a bunch of single men as a threat. It doesn’t have to be all or even most men in that group for the threat to be real.

              Also how is the data not relevant? The data is literally quantifying the problem this comic is addressing: this is a problem that disproportionately victimizes women and the perpetrators are often men, by a large margin. That is literally the basis for why the woman is unsettled whereas the man is relatively carefree.