Fuck that noice! Sometimes I buy bacon only because my fat jar is empty. That shit is gold for cooking with.

Pickled Brussels Sprout.

Depends on how relaxed you are. Also are you ok with chronic hemroids?

I just adore the little white line through “butt”. It’s ironically adorable and performative. That’s like in the 80-90’s when they’d censor movies on regular TV when they’d bleep over “hole” but not actually censor “ass”.

Makes me giggle everytime.

Even trying to censor or substitute any word for the sake of it being problematic is just stupid in my opinion. We all know the word it is you’re trying to say anyway. The substitute is just as triggering because it is the principle, the ideal, that is triggering, not the actual word itself.

Words have power when you give them power regardless of how vulgar, crass, or respectful you’re trying to be.

I always think of Michael Scott and one or two of his great lines when I have occasion to think/discuss this particular point. Honestly, I won’t even quote it. There’re actually two that fit perfectly, one being a single quote and one being a dialog.

I’d have to censor myself because I’m still not quite sure of the rules and guidelines. I’d be hypocritical by censoring it. It would also just be fun to draw out The Office (US) fans by letting them do it for me.

Maybe our lived experiences are anecdotal, different. Your stance seems very generalized, though, if you don’t mind me saying so.

The type of shit the average Joe/Jill deals with depends on their location, situation, and reaction cannot be wrapped up so simply. Mass shootings and politics are just more issues you’re lumping together in a way I feel just isn’t so beautifully packaged as you wrapped it up to be.

Our society is fucked. Don’t get me wrong. But I’m smart/dumb enough not to call you on it outright while I still understand that everything you encompassed here is far more nuanced than a simple, regurgitated hot take.

Many of the people that have helped me escape muggings are the same people our society would accuse of mugging me. 100% of the time they were more helpful than law enforcement.

I think that speaks more to the topic at hand than your comment. We only have each other, sometimes just ourselves, and we cannot look to those that are suppose to uphold the law so we take care of ourselves to a passionate degree and learn fast that it’s better to ask forgiveness than it is permission. The court system is a joke, too. So again. Too many topics, ideals, and talking points to wrap up in a neat little package.

If it was as simple as all of that, why not run for office with this as your platform? Do the work. We all know those actually in office aren’t doing it, so prove them wrong. Otherwise, and I’m sorry, but I take what you say just as seriously as the pontificating drunks I served all night.

As a kid our alley in back was where all the neighborhood kids played. We all decided it was race time. Most of us were on bikes but I happened to have my roller blades on.

Important detail is that there was a pretty steep slope from one end of the alley to the bottom before it leveled out halfway down. Of course we start at the top, everyone’s getting speed and I’m focused so I don’t get the wobbles. I’m actually ahead and it’s me a Jorge going neck and neck until I hit a rock at the bottom.

I tucked and rolled (apparently about 5 times) before I land on my back and slide for another 15 feet.

Maybe it was bad enough for the ER but in that day and with my family we treated it at home if it wasn’t a broken bone or head wound. So I laid belly down on the couch while my Pops picked gravel out of my back and blotted me with peroxide and anticeptic. Overall it wasn’t as bad as some of my brothers’ accidents but it looked pretty gnarly.

I could have won dammit

-Curly

-Onion Ring (isn’t really tater but I love them)

-Waffle

-Shoestring

-Sweet potato

-Zigzag (crinkle cut)

-Wedges

-Tots

Honestly though if im only stuck with the last three I won’t even eat them-

Will do sir.

• Sincerely, Poor bitch trying to fucking off even more for this poor guy for some reason.

No matter what tricks and aids I use to help manage it all they still end up becoming too overwhelming that I phase them out.

Even trying to go get diagnosed was hard enough. I had to have my mother in law come with me to advocate for me because I can handle the first topic we start with and they (doctors) move on to the next when I’m not done with the first so that’s all I’m thinking about. They were consistently giving me Lexapro and scooting me out the door. Kthnxbye!!

My MIL came with ONCE and interrupted the doc the moment I got flustered. I didn’t even realize I was flustered yet but she did without even pointing it out. Even just her interjecting got me focused again. It was such a a breathe of fresh air. She just retired from 40 years in healthcare and she was my savior. She knew exactly what and how to do what I’d been trying to do for 20 years with no results. Not like a diagnosis helps much but it was still validating to finally have something to show for my efforts all these years.

I call my mom Ma, too. My kids call me Ma or Mama. It’s funny but we took in some stray cat brothers in one day and kept them. A couple months later I heard Maaa-aaaa Maaaama! But the kids were at school… The kittens had learned they could get my attention immediately by mimicking my kids and that first couple times I couldn’t tell the difference. To this day their meow sounds like 'maaaa"

She’s not allowed at our table anymore.

We grew up on the frontier of the internet too. I miss it. I’m hoping this place is the last bastion but I’m learning it’s just not. Ahhh, the good ol days.

Damn, in hindsight, not understanding what my parents were going through raising us, and the friendships, hobbies, and innocence I had, I miss those days now.

Now I’m my parents and I understand why they were so stressed all the time.

It sat in the parking lot at work until my boyfriend/ex could come in his pickup.

Oh yeah, and it took 2 cooks and my ex to get it in the bed. To this day I have no idea how my patron got it over there in the first place.

State Fair was going on across the street from one of my old places and a vendor came in for his first meal of the day and a few beers. He realized too late that someone had picked his pocket on his way so he was literally $2.15 short on his bill.

It was tragic. He lost the thousands of dollars he’d made that day. I told him not to worry about it, I’d pay his bill. Obviously I made out great that night with the fair going on so karma dictated I do at least that much.

He said ok well when do get off? I told him I was here till bar close but not to worry about reimbursing me. He left. I assumed I’d never see him again but he did come back and asked me to come outside. I grab the bouncer to escort me out and he had one of these massive granite lawn ornaments. You know. The ones they half polish and engrave with your name or “Welcome” and you put them at on your porch or by your driveway. He tipped me a 300 lb of granite engraved with “Home Sweet Home” that usually runs you $600-1000.

Firstly I’m very sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what that must feel like. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way because I doubt you’re as ‘gross’ as you think you are. (We’re our own worst enemies) But, what if you are gross? Why does it only matter to you that you think others would think so and not the other way around, as well?

Why not just embrace it for a bit and maybe encounter someone who adores your gross? What one person finds gross, another will love.

You have options.

A) You can seek out people to meet and date while thinking you’re gross and I can almost guarantee you your self esteem would be more of a turn off than anything that you may personally think is a turn off. Low confidence is a huge factor in attraction.

B) You can seek out people to meet and date while thinking you’re gross and you attract someone who preys on your low self esteem. They will encourage you to improve and the change will only be their image of improvement. It won’t be you. It won’t be authentic improvement. You’ll further lose yourself. Your validation and self worth will be wrapped up in a cycle of emotional abuse that will take just as long to recover from as your past loss did.

C) You can force yourself to embrace the idea that you’re gross anyway so why not find someone that is ok with that. Sort of a ‘come as you are’ mentality. Why change just so you can attract someone who’ll finally love what you pretend to be? Instead, rock up anywhere and just BAM, “Deal with it &$&-$&#&#'s. I’m here, love it or hate it”

Honestly, Hun. It’s just so unrealistic to think there aren’t going to be people out there that will not vibe with you no matter what you do. You could be a 10/10 celeb with all the money and there will always be someone out there that can criticize something about you. The beauty of the human condition is that we’re all so different yet we’re still all quite similar in that we all want to be accepted. It’s daunting but also exhilarating to accept that you will not please everyone, you will not be loved by everyone. You will not be everyone’s special snowflake. You are your own worst enemy if you think that’s ever possible.

D) You can go on a journey of self improvement. Why do you think you’re gross? Work small improvements into your routine that you, personally want to improve on. Tiny manageable habits at first, for example, getting a decent haircut and asking the stylist for a simple ways to maintain it and style it.

Setting a timer for 20 minutes and straightening up your living space. Every other day or three at first. Stop when the timer goes off if it burns you out or keep going if you’ve gotten in a groove. 20 minutes isn’t long so it’s not as daunting as planning a whole deep clean day that could overwhelm you. You can still get more than you expect accomplished it 20 minutes. Then over time you can increase that to 20 minutes every day or an hour every other day or so. Adjust it to your own personal ‘timer’.

However you go about that is up to you, the limitations of resources available to you and your own expectations of yourself. Those were only off the top of my head examples but I hope you understand what I’m trying to say.

Take time to identify that “why”. Why do you think you’re gross? What are the most simple baby steps you can take to improve them? Start small and work up from there when you meet your own expectations.

I will always tell you to go with © and (D) and blend to find your own happiness whether it’s with someone else or just yourself. C is a more realistic mentality to have in a world that forces unrealistic expectations on you. D will reinforce that mentality in the way that’s best and more realistic for you. Work to become the person you want to be and then shrug off your detractors and allow the rest of the world and anyone who likes you to meet you half way. When you find yourself attractive, when you are content even while you acknowledge your imperfections, you will attract people that want to be with who you are not what they want you to be.

Good

I want to add something because I want to add a glimmer of positivity. I mean, this is all anecdotal but I’m housing one of my daughter’s friends right now.

I’m still learning her history because I have absolutely zero guardianship over her and I don’t pry because she’s been through so much and she shares when she’s ready. Her mother passed about two years ago and her dad is in the wind. Her grandma has guardianship but treated her as a burden.

I play nice with Grandma so my new daughter stays by me. I’m not sure if CPS was ever called on either her mother or grandmother or if it was just because mother passed but ‘daughter’ has weekly therapy and a social worker who got her into a very decent state university.

She’s about to go visit for a tour and I’m so worried but also excited because she has a full ride from the state for a two or four year depending on what she wants. I’ve looked into the school and it’s pretty great. It’s going to be hard for my ex and I to pull off the same for our daughter.

The state of affairs are abysmal these last few decades but there are still good people trying to do good things. The Man isn’t out to get you if you’re lucky enough to get the right government employee. Or maybe you just have to suffer enough.

I know the young lady I’m talking about deserves this chance and I’m ecstatic that she has the opportunity. It makes me feel a little guilty that I’m going to miss her, but in a good way.

I wish every kid and every parent didn’t have to worry so much about getting into trouble because they’re already struggling. The horrors I’m learning this child has gone through shouldn’t be the bar by which we set as deserving of a higher education.

I have barely anything to offer but even just feeding her and teaching her to cook and do laundry and taxes and set up a bank account makes me some sort of goddess in her eyes and I’d love to take credit but it’s just too tragic to me that a child considers this little bit I have to offer as some sort of gift. What I have to offer as a ‘gift’ is not. It’s what any child should be entitled to. I’m happy that she finally feels comfortable enough to add things she wants to the grocery list without worrying too much that she’s putting me out in some way.

This is a little different but it sticks out.

My baby brother was born in 91 and when he eventually got into kindergarten one of his teachers flagged him for his speech impediment. He’d pronounce his P’s as B’s.

He was 5 and talked a mile a minute before he was two. He just couldn’t quite get the hang of that one part.

My parents weren’t worried. We were all helping him. My other brother and I were 6 years older than him and we we’re latchkey kids by the time I was 10.

My parents worked second/third jobs and second/third shifts rotating to make everything work for us. We barely saw them both at the same time.

I remember my Ma, and even Pops, being pissed as fuck and our chores and cleaning day was ramped up for a month or two, and all us kids had individual therapy sessions where they grilled us with questions we didn’t understand because the school call CPS on them because they wouldn’t (read: couldn’t) make after school speech therapy work with their schedules and they knew he’d learn on his own eventually anyway. They just made my parents lives that much more stressful in that time.

This was over 30 years ago now and I have my own kids, and bonus kids even! I have my own stories I could tell but this is the absolute worst because I saw how much it stressed out my overworked parents. My brother is a functioning member of society who got over his slight speech impediment within the year, with our help but mostly letting him develop on his own time.

Meanwhile, us kids just considered it a matter of course that we wrap up plates and Tupperware after each meal. One plate for Gertie our nextdoor neighbor and whatever was left went to Jorge’s family two doors down. We also learned how to mow the lawn only so the Grandma and Grandpa Hass, our other next door neighbors wouldn’t have to anymore. They weren’t actual family but they were to us. Jorge’s family got all my and my brothers’ hand-me-down clothes for his younger siblings, too. We didn’t quite understand why at the time. It’s just what you do. But yeah, make a struggling family’s life that much harder with your performative concern.