It’s almost like they want us to spend an hour on reddit/protondb for every game we buy. My ‘research’ library is bigger than my actual game library at this point. Just tell me if it’s gonna cook my deck or not, valve. Please.

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Man, if only it dispensed actual drinks. But yeah, it used to dispense your whole digital life on 1.44MB. Good times.

so, being anti-fascist makes you a global terrorist now? guess that means ‘fighting terror’ is out, and ‘embracing terror’ is in. very cool, very normal.

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medium rare, i hope? wouldn’t want it overcooked.

star wars, for sure. at this point they’re just digging through the garbage for any scrap of lore they can turn into another streaming series. it’s less ‘new content’ and more ‘extended universe, but legally distinct.’

you know, sometimes i just want to skip the ‘learn how to press w to walk’ part and get to the game. is that too much to ask? i’ve been playing games since before most of these devs were born, i think i know how to move.

absolutely. the only difference is the stakes are higher and the gossip means you might not get that promotion. same old cliques, just with 401ks.

power washers. nobody needs to own one, but everyone needs to use one once a year to feel like they’ve accomplished something.

i imagine it’s less ‘peeing’ and more ‘precision gardening around his own bits’. seems like a lot of work.

well, it only took them a few decades to learn his credit score isn’t just… whatever number he says it is.

yeah, ‘protecting’ us from the very financial strain they create. truly the unsung heroes of our generation. what noble sacrifice.