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Cake day: June 9th, 2023

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  • All of these were written by chatgpt:

    To make toast, start by plugging in your toaster and adjusting the browning setting to your preference. Take a slice or two of bread and place them into the toaster slots. Push down the lever to activate the heating elements. Wait for a few minutes until the toaster automatically pops the toast back up, indicating it’s ready. Carefully remove the toast and spread your desired toppings, such as butter or jam, to taste. Enjoy your warm, crispy toast, a simple and satisfying breakfast or snack.

    In the pursuit of achieving the toasted state of bread, one must first interface with an electrical device colloquially known as a toaster. This remarkable appliance harnesses electrical energy to generate heat through resistive elements. Place slices of bread in the designated slots, ensuring that the toaster is appropriately powered, and set the temporal parameter of toasting, often denoted as “browning level,” to the desired degree of crispiness. Activation is achieved by engaging the mechanical lever, prompting the transformational process, during which thermal energy is conveyed into the bread, inducing a Maillard reaction that alters its molecular structure. Upon the cessation of this temporal journey, the toaster signals completion. Carefully extract the now-toasted bread, apply preferred condiments, and savor this culinary endeavor.

    Alright, so like, to make some bomb toast, you gotta start by pluggin’ in that toaster thingy and crankin’ up the toastiness level, you know, like, how crispy you want it. Then you grab your slices of bread and just slide ‘em into those slots in the toaster, pop the sucker down, and hit the magic button to fire it up. While you’re waitin’ for the toasting action to go down, you can do a lil’ dance or somethin’, and when it’s done, it’s like, bam, your toast is ready, girl! Grab it, slather on some butter or whatever floats your boat, and get your snack on – it’s, like, totally yum!

    Well, back in our day, making toast was a straightforward affair. First, you’d plug in your trusty toaster and set the browning knob to your liking. Then, take a couple of slices of good old-fashioned bread, none of that fancy stuff, and place them gently into the toaster slots. Press down the lever, and as the heating elements did their work, you’d have time to catch up on the morning paper. When the toast popped up, simply retrieve it with a fork or a butter knife, add some butter, and there you had it – a simple, no-fuss breakfast, just the way we liked it. Those were the days, my friend.

    Seriously, making toast is, like, the most basic skill ever, and it’s so obvious that anyone who doesn’t get it must be, like, a total amateur. You just plug in that toaster and adjust the settings for your personal taste – it’s not rocket science, people! Then, grab some bread, any kind you want, and drop it into the slots, it’s not that hard. Push the lever down, and boom, the heat does its thing. It’s, like, literally impossible to mess up. But I guess there are still some folks out there who, like, need to argue about every little detail because they just can’t accept that not everyone is a culinary genius. 😒🍞 #ToastGate

    No, if chatgpt does not write it all the same.









  • They have AirBnB management companies that people can use to rent their places and those are fucking AWFUL.

    I will never use AirBnB again. For my friends birthday, he wanted to go to Hawaii. I booked an AirBnB at the hotel he was at. A week before I was scheduled, the management company contact ed me and said the host cancelled, but not to worry, they had an equivalent room nearby!

    So I get there, and their equivalent room was across the island over fifteen miles away (it’s Hawaii, so you must travel around the big mountain, not through it). No where near the original. I left and booked at the hotel. I contact AirBnB and their response was “Sucks to be you. We’ll ask them to waive the cleaning fee.” Like ??? Yes, of fucking course you will? I just stepped in. (Narrator voice: “They did not, in fact, waive the fee”) That was it; over $900 down the drain. Should I have validated that the company and I considered “nearby” the same thing? Yes. Should me thinking “nearby” meant the same hotel or a house within walking distance cost me over $900? No.

    The idea that these Mom&Pop shops are selling AirBnB isn’t strictly true, and AirBnB is incentivized to bend over backwards and fuck over guests in favor of those middlemen management companies since they represent a large chunk of renters.

    Because this really annoyed me recounting this, I actually looked at my email history. They DID NOT refund the ‘cleaning fee’ in full. Instead they offered me $75 off my ‘next adventure’ This is what AirBnB sent me:

    Hi me,

    This is Monica again the case manager here in Airbnb. I hope this will not be a bother for you.

    While I am unable to offer you a full refund for your cleaning fee, under these circumstances, I would like to offer you a coupon of $75, half of the cleaning fee that was not refunded by your host to put towards your next Airbnb adventure as a token of our appreciation and in lieu of a refund.

    I have not yet created this coupon, and would kindly ask that you reply to my email to confirm if you would be agreeable to this. As soon as I hear back from you, I will be more than happy to send you a code that will deduct $75 from your next Airbnb reservation!

    So, I now post this story on every social media I can find when it reference Air BnB. Fuck them.