Herd them ahead of you to clear traps

Nuthin, furloughed.

Dan Savage at least has repeatedly apologized and cut that shit out a long time ago.

Inventory management. Can’t secure what you can’t see etc

protip: don’t cross them off, write who they are on the list (eg “Rivermeadow blacksmith”) so you can remember when the players come back to them a million sessions later

Found the bard

I guess that’s the orthodox interpretation, that it’s the eggs that were bad. But like, if you actually watch what he’s doing, he just vaguely pokes at them while they burn to the bottom of the pan, and then he serves them while they’re still liquid. And they don’t call him an accomplished cook, the closest anyone gets is elevator shaft saying “Ooh, a practiced hand!” in response to Riker pouring the eggs into a pan.

But…we’ve seen it. It happened in an episode. Dude can’t cook eggs.

Tell me you wouldn’t watch at least 30 minutes of Riker failing to scramble eggs.

After awhile, Poseiden comes and kicks your ass until you stop. Live by the magic sword, die by the magic sword.

I like the mental image of a dwarf ship that’s 6 ft tall and got 47 masts to make up for it.

Imagine the emotional and physical damage of taking your first shit in thousands of years.

Can’t recall things you never knew.

Your character doesn’t know that information.

A wizard did it.

No one actually plays dnd like that though…

Given what Mountain Dew has done to me, that tracks.

Jokes on you, we play every rpg!

Bards aren’t just “a talented musician” they literally use magic. They’re basically wizards that went the liberal arts path in college.

Yeah, in that case I think you did everything that could reasonably be expected of you.