This is the lemmy account of @toni@blahaj.zone

  • 0 Posts
  • 6 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: June 23rd, 2023
  • Toni Widmo@lemmy.blahaj.zonetoTransfem@lemmy.blahaj.zone•I am really, really questioning my gender
    13·
    1 year ago

    You are right not to want answers along the lines of ‘you are trans’ or ‘you are not trans’. You are right that you are the only person that can answer that. As a non-binary trans woman, I can tell you that ‘being trans’ isn’t a uniform experience that can be easilly put in neatly defined boxes with easy to recognise checkboxes to tick off.

    Even if it turns out you are cisgendered, it is good that you are questioning gender. Some of what we think about as ‘gender’ is social expectations that are entirely toxic. And more cisgendered men should question those gender norms.

    Then you have femboys, and other cisgendered men that have a gender non conforming expression in terms of presentation, clothing, hairstyles and makeup. Expression is not identity. Of course some femboys are nonbinary, genderfluid, trans men, trans masc or demi boys. But most nonbinary, genderfluid, trans men, trans masc or demi boys are not femboys. Again, identity is not expression.

    Ultimately all you can do is work out what makes you happy. Does the thought of being a woman spark joy? Does the thought of being neither man or woman (agender) spark joy? Does the thought of being both man and woman spark joy? Or man and agender? Or woman and agender? Or being masc but not quite a man (demiboy)? Or the thought of being almost a woman but not quite (transfem)?

    Answering those questions won’t give you a definitive answer, just a starting point for exploration. As you explore you may find your answers to those questions change as you pilot yourself and your life towards where you want to be.