What a terrible day to be literate

Was looking for this.

And yet, I had to remind my fiancee that it ever happened last week. People have just… forgotten.

So many people seem to have just forgotten the crowd strike outage, which halted air traffic for a day and stopped a not-insignificant amount of public infrastructure

Are we just forgetting the gigantic Crowdstrike outage a year ago by Microsoft that halted air traffic for a full day?

Umm, but what if I’m a science teacher? Like, my specialty is history and presentation of science experimentation. The primary limitation is whether I am allowed to bring the tools of my trade (books), which would help me survive in England or Iceland as far back as 900 AD.

My guy, I did not. I just tried to write it out like my good ol’ pappy would have wanted: in the style of convicted con artist Joseph Smith.

You think ChatGPT would use words like “ameliorate” or, even more unbelievably, use “transubstantiate” as a term for the conversion of god’s feces into whatever Donald Trump’s mental assessments dare to call a mind?

My Instagram handle is '); DROP TABLE AccountNames;–

Let’s be very clear: only one of those two sexual acts is illegal. The other one is just hilarious proof that we live in the most stupid timeline.

There is nothing more damaging to the narcissistic dictator’s fragile ego than emasculation. Let us merely hope that the hits keep coming.

Book of Endings, 1:15-23

15 - And lo, when Harambe ascended to his rightful reward, he found the great seat empty, the post abdicated, for the Creator had forsaken the creation.

16 - Finding the holy promontory abandoned, Harambe chose, then, to take that highmost throne and make for himself a lofty view of creation.

17 - And He did gaze upon the world and found it wanting.

18 - And Harambe wept, for there were no greater heights to conquer.

19 - It came to pass that Harambe did gnash his teeth and, seeing only the world below him, realised the nature of the prison to which he had committed himself.

20 - And Harambe contented himself with throwing the many integral parts of that world through the bars of the prison in which he now found himself, like an Ape throwing feces through the bars of his cage.

21 - And there came then great plagues from the animals of the land, and storms from the seas. Fire rose from the air and the people of the land below cried out.

22 - And Harambe, hearing their cries, sought to ameliorate their fears by throwing more of his dung from that great height.

23 - And lo, the many peoples of the Earth began to accustom themselves to the persistent rain of feces, now transubstantiated into flesh and land and time.

It may get louder, but does it go to eleven?

“We have managed to replicate the Torment Nexus, from the famous and excellent movie ‘Don’t Create the Torment Nexus’! Look at how shiny and ominous it is!”

Fair enough! For me, it scratched the itch of “procedural exoplanet biogeochemistry” that I always had, but could never scratch.

If you love seed ship, you have to try beyond the Chiron gate. It’s genuinely the culmination of what seed ship started. Its amazing.

Orson Welles’ War Of The Worlds broadcast

Just when you think that this, the worst timeline, had found the human limitation of “stupid”, it seeks to hurl feces into your eye in ever-more-inane and obscene manners, like a caged ape with no outlet for its struggles.

Is this why everything went south after Harambe died? He found heaven vacant, the throne abdicated and the world forsaken, and thus took that high most seat and wept, having no greater spaces to conquer, and so began to hurl reality itself like shit through the bars of heaven?

FOSS (no ads, available on FDroid):

Puzzle games:

• Simon Tatham’s Puzzle Collection
• Gurgle (Offline, infinite Wordle Dupe)

Strategy games:

• Mindustry,
• Tanks of Freedom
• Unciv (It’s Civilisation V, but free)

Mindless games:

• Ricochlime

Emulator:

• RetroArch (just need the ROMs)

Free (no ads): Seedship (by John Ayliff)

Paid (no ads): Beyond the Chiron Gate (also by John Ayliff)

🦭💨

There are at least four more appropriate appendages by which to hang someone who has committed crimes against humanity.