This pleases the court
It is not a difficult task to find a metaphor for the Bitcoin phenomenon in the realm of opera. The term “darknet” and the concept of a virtual currency, such as Bitcoin, easily relates to the saga of Richard Wagner’s Ring—a series of four operas composed in the late 19th century but very much alive today.
In the first opera in the series, although the last to be composed, Das Rheingold features the dwarf, Alberich, in the opening scenes, residing in the dark depths of the Rhine River where he notices a quantity of gold near his habitat and eventually decides to steal it and fasten it into a gold ring which, along with his renunciation of love, will give him super powers.
Shortly after, the three Rhinemaidens swimming in the Rhine River, appear, notice the gold, and embark on a series of flirtations or teasing with Alberich. As the opera progresses, the gold may be found in some bricks used to build a castle for certain giants, and this becomes the basic substance for the construction of Valhalla, a magnificent castle for the gods, which in Götterdämmerung, the last opera, is destroyed in flames. Such may be the ultimate finale for Bitcoin.
In real life, we know that gold is very valuable—viz, the “gold standard.” In the Ring operas, however, although gold is discussed, it is never actually seen or turned into real money. Thus, it is just as “virtual” as Bitcoin. However, this Court must reject the alleged values of Bitcoin on which the Defense arguments heavily rely, as unsubstantiated by any real-life transactions.
Indeed, the great quantities of Bitcoin have neither been seen, touched, or held. No one knows for sure what will be the outcome of adventures in Bitcoin as it is not a currency backed by gold or guaranteed by any sovereign nation, and it may someday go up in flames just as Valhalla in Wagner’s opera.
Epic.
Is this… is this what crypto-sneering entering the mainstream looks like? A lot of wires are getting crossed in my brain. Who tf casually references Wagner?
I appreciate the conspicuous nonchalance of opening with “it is not a difficult task to find a metaphor for the Bitcoin phenomenon in the realm of opera” to start a footnote that takes half a page and is only very tangentially related to the paragraph thus annotated, to draw a simile that is itself also kind of a stretch (like the Rheingold is “as virtual as bitcoin” because it’s never seen, but it’s also physically a part of Valhalla by being imbued in the bricks? and is this whole long digression only to say that Bitcoin may go up in flames like Valhala, that’s it that’s the metaphor? both are things that end?)
like real Herman Melville “lemme tell you about whales for a sec” infodump energy
judges, evidently
This improved my mood considerably, thank you.
