Hi, so I am (18F). My boyfriend is obviously (17M). So, a few days ago, we exchanged messages, which looked like this:

Hey, So, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but can you not text, call, or hang out much anymore (like only hang out at restaurants)? I just don’t like it. Again, I am real sorry to hurt you, I just don’t really like communicating via telephone or hanging out. I am very introverted. Thanks <3

He responded with: “Don’t worry! You’re not hurting my feelings!! I will definitely talk less on the phone if that’s what you want and talk more in-person.”

I said “That’s perfect <3 OK”

And all he sent yesterday was “Hi!” and not much else and I told him I couldn’t talk so he stopped messaging altogether except for “hi, have a great day” or even just “Hi”.

  • hendrik@palaver.p3x.deEnglish
    7·
    3 months ago

    So you’re saying you have contradictory feelings? You want to talk? But you also don’t want to talk?

    I mean that obviously won’t work, these are opposites. So you can have only one of the options. But I think more often than not, the right course of action is to think hard about why you feel that way. And what you really want… And try to communicate that to your partner. I mean having feelings isn’t a mistake. You can tell them I wasn’t in the mood yesterday, but I’m now. Or I wish I were, but never actually like it… Or ask them how they feel and what they like… Just try not to confuse everyone.

    …If it’s just the phone, or you avoid talking about a certain subject, you’d obviously need to address that instead.

    • Josephine@lemmings.worldOPEnglish
      11·
      3 months ago

      I just don’t like talking on the phone or texting. I often ask them what they like, but to be honest, I just care if they like what I like not what they like, even though I might like it a little. I always wanna do what I want.

      • blarghly@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        3 months ago

        can you not text, call, or hang out much anymore

        Apparently you don’t like interacting with him at all - at least according to yhis statement.

        I often ask them what they like, but to be honest, I just care if they like what I like not what they like, even though I might like it a little.

        wut

        I always wanna do what I want.

        This is a universal human experience. But, while I assume you enjoy doing what you want, I also assume you enjoy seeing someone you like being happy. This is where compromise comes in. That’s life.

        Anyway, the solution to how your problem is to communicate how you are feeling. Either meet up, or call him, or text him, or whatever, and say

        I miss talking to you but don’t really wanna talk… I know this makes literally no sense at all and I’m trying to figure it out myself, but [insert reassurances that you still like him and want to continue your relationship].

      • hendrik@palaver.p3x.deEnglish
        1·
        3 months ago

        I don’t get it. So you despise talking to him on the phone but love talking to him in person and wish you’d do more of that? What’s so special about the phone? And what’s stopping you from focusing on that?