Is there anywhere as ableist as my family’s “social circle”? Like… anyone who acts slightly “weird” just get labled my language’s equivalent of [the r-word]. Social awkwardness as an adult, neurodivergence, especially autism, they all get labeled in this one category of “the stupids”. Idk what the fuck my parents keep talking to, but they say back in their village (idk if father’s or mother’s), there is a family where the mother died, and the the son, “went crazy/stupid” (emphasis on the quotation marks), so, my mom keeps projecting that fear on me, she thinks I would be a failure like that person. I think there are like a lot of these similar stories that gets spread around from other villages.
These people just get basically abandoned by society, like sure maybe people will have pity for them, maybe they’ll live, but they’re basically being treated like a beggar, sort of, a nuisance, a leech, a useless eater of the villages, yea sure they’ll “live”, but they’re just gonna get hidden away from society, never really be accepted or even tolerated in public, so fucking depressing to think about. This is mainland China btw, zero disability rights, they’re not seen as human beings, just some crippled puppy/kitten that they only keep around out of pity, to make themselves seen as saints or something, because they wanna pretend like good people, they wanna get “good karma” (as in the religious/spiritual sense), yet you go on wechat, you hear all the vile shit they say to each other about them on voice calls, zero political correctness, always throwing deogratory terms. I overheard these calls first hand, that’s how I learned the term “低B” (a very deogratory term, equivalent to the r-word in English). They keep using these people as an example of what “failure” is. Like: “if you don’t start acting ‘normal’, that is you one day”, this fucking society… What the hell even is “normal”, is neurodivergence “insanity” now? What the hell. And the reason why I feel so depressed is because these are literally my compatriots, from around where my ancestry is. In another timeline, I could’ve been in their position, I could envision that universe, being in their shoes. Depressing stuff to think about.
I mean… dude… you are saying this with your current knowledge and conscioussness. If you get reincarnated there (and lose all your current memories), you won’t even make it past school with a disability (especially if it’s on the mental side of thing). Would you even have the same ideas/plans that you have now?
Also, if its a physical one, like say, you have trouble walking, good luck finding wheelchair ramps. Very rare to find. Its also kinda steep even if you find one, its kinda half-assed.
I remember living in like a I think 7 or 8 story building in Guangzhou, and there was no elevator, so um… yea… tough steps to climb. My maternal grandmother who was watching over us had trouble walking 5 flights of stairs, so I’d remember just going home from school by myself for lunch (kids go home for lunch, unless they pay for school lunch), she’d throw down the keys wrapped in like layers of newspapers or something, then grab it and I’d open the door (like the big main door below, don’t think a remote buzzer door opening system existed (or if it did, it never worked)), that probably why I never really became a “fat” kid when I lived in Guangzhou, those step were like excersise lol, its down 2 times and up 2 times on schooldays. Imagine you live there then… oopsie your leg is injured, tough luck. Like I don’t think any of the residential apartment buildings even have elevators. In the US, I think like elevators are everywhere. My paternal grandparents apartment in NYC (government subsidized btw) had elevators and I think the building also about 7-10 floors, and grandpa’s much older, imagine he had to live in China (where there is no government subsidized apartments btw) in the apartment we had. Lol. Idk he he can even walk those stairs. There is no “ADA” btw, or if there is, there isn’t much enforcement. And I’m not saying thr US is in anyways perfect, there is no “perfect” place. But the ADA and accomodations stuff is something I always liked when it comes to my view of the US.
I mean I guess one thing we have in common, we both dislike the country we were born in. xD
Edit: Don’t forget workplace anti-discrimination protecrions (which aren’t always obeyed I know, but at least there’s something)
So I am super weird in being disabled.
That pic of me with this account, yeah, that was one of my last races before the crash. I was in outstanding shape at the time. It happened when I was just riding my road bike (bicycle, but road race) to work. Two cars crashed right in front of me. When I say I barely survived, I mean doctors gave me 50:50 odds in the ICU. I had several fractures around C0 and the base of my skull, around my spinal cord, among many others including 6 fractured vertebrae. My problem now, nearly 12 years later is still posture. I can’t hold posture for more than around an hour tops before it makes sleep impossible. My fatigue stacks up exponentially. Like if I push too hard, I won’t sleep much at all for a few days. If I keep pushing the next day, it will stretch into weeks without sleep. So I spend the cast majority of my time lying down.
I have tons of time to think and explore my curiosities. It sucks because I enjoyed working with my hands a whole lot. I’m highly skilled in several areas. I’ve had to give up many of those skills and interests, but that is another story.
I am fully mobile, but my thoracic spine (between the shoulder blades) is about like an 80 year old man stuck in the body of a 40 year old, with a mind largely stuck at 29 when it all happened. I never lost my race legs either. It will hurt like all hell in my back, and I don’t look like I am in great race shape now, though pretty good for my age, but I will absolutely destroy you on a bike still. My only issue is standing or sitting upright for very long, or like holding my arms up, or even just my head. My spine is just a fucking mess.
Both of the SUVs involved were total loses. I was on a hill. My GPS shows I managed to slow down from 34 to 29.7 MPH before it broke off and flew nearly half a block backwards. I crashed funny. I was dead square, wheel chocked, and all of my momentum went into my forehead while folding me backwards.
In Japan, there are stem cell treatments for my issues. Here in the Puritan fuckwit inbred penal colony euro reject land of the USA, such stem cell research and treatments offend the fuckwits. So I am forfeit and collateral human sacrifice to their collective imaginary friend.
You are right, we are all only a product of our environment. I come from a very odd background. My life experiences pushed me into my curiosities in interesting ways. If I was raised in different conditions, I would be very different.
Chinese culture is entirely foreign to me. I do not handle injustice well. I enjoy systems that are straightforward with clear rules free from corruption. Stuff like prejudice bugs me, all forms of dogma and tribalism really kinda irritate me. I’ve watched some expats living in China before, and the prejudice Caucasians often get are the kind of thing that bugs me. I’m more aligned with a general European attitude than any stereotypical American, but I still expect to have a chance to show the person I am without getting judged as some Puritan inbred fuckwit.
I don’t know how different I would really be from another background. I grew up mostly around Tennessee until my late teens. Then moved to SoCal, back to Georgia on my own, then back to SoCal. The culture is extremely different between these. Still, all of my life, when I am bored or in need, I turn to my curiosities as a refuge. I like to figure out low level fundamental stuff on a deep level of functional understanding. That has always been independently motivated and heuristical. Like right now, I am building an old 6502 computer from scratch and working out how to program it without using another computer; starting by manually entering the fewest number of instructions (op codes) required to build a functional system.
My sister was an asshole when we were growing up. She was super possessive of the TV so I just went and played with Lego’s and building blocks or whatever. Then when I had my first car, it always broke down, and I had no choice but to figure it out and fix it. I learned to observe until I understand how stuff works and be persistent. These were some of the key things that shaped me. Painting cars was like supercharging all of that. The job is about defeating yourself and your time expectations. Perfection is required and it does not give a shit about how you feel about another layer of filler or primer. You either got it right or you didn’t. I also had to get super creative with tools. Like give me a come-a-long and a couple of large trees and I will straiten the frame of a car or truck. I had to make tools for special sanding jobs all the time too. I still have an eye for detail well beyond most people. Everything is a tool to me with flexible off label uses. I like to see how stuff works and work out the details by myself, often in unconventional perspectives that are functionally correct. When people do stuff in some conventional way, I often think it is nonsense or pedantic. I just see stuff differently. It is usually small insignificant stuff, but I see a streamlined path that, if it were made available, people should naturally gravitate towards it. Or like how I would much rather buy something packaged in a different way that adds a lot of value.
If I was in China, I would be packaging many project kits and working my way into commissioning some products to be made. If I spoke mandarin, I would be translating many of the Chinese electronics forums projects into English. In essence, I could use my limitations as a way to get by and earn an income by being useful to people with similar interests and curiosities. Doing the same thing here is just not a viable business scheme.