• Avorn@sh.itjust.works
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      16 hours ago

      Is there any chance to move out from your parents, and surround yourself with people with different ideals?

      • No chance. My brain is fucked.

        I literally felt so much anxiety when I tried to live on campus so I ended up withdrawing from college altogether.

        I’m just feeling so ashamed of myself for being such a failure I kinda think about killing myself all the time. Depression is so hard, I don’t have the energy to do anything.

        It was already bad enough before, now I feel so anxious going outside because of ICE.

        I have trouble dealing with other people. I don’t think I can handle roomates… I mean I did had roommates in college, and I kinda… everyone hated me. Well they didn’t say it, but I feel like I was unwelcomed.

        I have a lot of health issues. I snore when I sleep and it annoys everyone.

        Rent is so expensive these days you can’t be by yourself, but roomates is also a… no no.

        I’d probably just get stabbed to death since I have no social skills (well not like zero, but I never really made friends in school, so… there… I doubt I’d get along with randos as roomates in like the adult world no-less)

        I mean, I even have trouble finding psychaitric help and feel anxious af trying to schedule an appointment.

        I need my parents’ money to even afford health related stuff. Y’all know how it is in the US. They say “seek professional help” but nobody ever mentions the money aspect.

        This is years of emotional abuse and neglect.

        They destroyed my ability to be independent.

        I mean even my older brother 5 years older than me probably has problems being independent. He’s still at home with us.

        I know I sound pathetic af

        Our family is just a bunch of failures

        Shitty parenting destroyed us

        Thanks a lot, Confucious and your “filial piety” tiger parenting bullshit.

        • SeptugenarianSenate@leminal.space
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          12 hours ago

          even just your awareness and ability to articulate yourself,as well as the capacity for consequential reasoning and your willingness to empathize with your brother all seem like priceless artifacts of your humanity which will become more precious and respected as we all start continue recognizing and discussing the realities we have seen throughout our twisted and tumultuous lives, and we are able to gracefully “live (well enough) and let die (or let go without bitterness)” the mistakes of these past few generations and all the shit they have been cooking for themselves and others all around them, to justify how they have been making it by, through all the thick and thin that they had all been making up and giving to each other.