When I make a new friend online and we hang out a lot in a short space of time, I find myself hyperfocusing on wanting to interact with them. I try my best to hold myself back to what would be an acceptable level. It gets to a point where I feel like almost nothing else matters but their next response.
Does anyone else have this? If so, is there a coping technique I can do to reduce it or make it more bearable?
I do this, and can relate with how nerve-wracking it is. I’m afraid I haven’t hit on any techniques to stop it entirely, but for me I found things like mindfulness practices help with some of the runaway or obssessive thinking. Also, finding hobbies or activities I can do by myself has helped me feel less like I’m only happy when I’m with/talking to my “favourite person”.
Hobbies help a bit, but the problem is they start to give my brain less and less value when I have a new favourite person so to speak.
Yeah, I understand that. I haven’t found an easy solution to that.
With hobbies, the thing I’ve found most useful is to set a structure of making that time for myself to do the thing I enjoy. Even if it’s just an hour or two, one evening a week. That way I’ve mentally created the space where I can say “that time is for me, to do my hobby”. Sticking with it, even if I think “I’d rather be with my favourite person at this time” helps add some balance (plus it’s a defence against that feeling of neglecting myself when I’m hyperfocused on someone else).
That’s a good idea, unfortunately I have trouble sticking to times unless I’m letting someone else down
Well I don’t know if it helps, but the way I think of that is that if I didn’t stick to the times, I’d be letting me down.
Sounds like a good thing to be honest
My hobbies losing value is a good thing?
Sorry I misread that. Thought you said hobbies cause you to place less thoughts on friendship
Oh I can see that, my bad.