I’m male 16, living in Iran for clarification. (English is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes)
I have always struggled with my hair style and look, as I always cut my hair very short and uniform all around because of strict school dress code and policies.
But as I’m getting older I’m starting to want to improve myself and have better mental and physical health.
I’ve become self-conscious of face and looks after the pandemic specifically because I feel left out of many things compared to my peers. One of which is my hair style and cut.
I’m not sure how should I cut, style and maintain my hair. As I mentioned previously I always cut it short and uniform and I showered every 2-3 days, so I’d like to know how to maintain the hair.
But most importantly I don’t know what to tell my barber?
Sorry for the rant and long post.
Bring a fashion magazine to your barber and point to the style you like. Celebrity photos might help too.
I’m very anxious of how I would look and don’t know which style would fit me.
If it doesn’t fit you, you can either adjust it immediately if there’s still enough hair left, or it will grow in a couple of weeks if there’s not.
Couple of weeks of looking silly sounds like torture for a person with already low self esteem :)
But I will try your advice if I didn’t find anything better.
Personally, I would try to realize others might respect you more for confident behavior like trying new hairstyles instead of ridicule you if the hairstyle isn’t the best for a few weeks.
Never thought of it that way. I try to never judge people based off appearance, but I know people around me do.
If I see someone I know (especially someone I know to have issues with self esteem) trying something like a new haircut, or asking a girl out or really anything that presents a social risk, I gain respect for them.
Heed some advice from Nelson Mandela:
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
You can try wearing a hat for those weeks if it’s that bad.
If you know someone with good hair, ask where they get theirs done. And try not to worry.
If it doesn’t look good, you can always go back to your old cut and then try again when your hair gets long enough.
Preface: I’m US based, I don’t know how barbers work where you’re from.
For me, finding a good barber includes having a conversation about what kind of things Im looking for. This can be as broad as “I don’t really know what fits me” or “I’m looking to go a bit longer so I can style it like this picture of a person with similar hair”.
After a couple of cuts, if I trust the barber can combine what I’m asking for with their skillset along with what they think looks good, I’ll tell them something like “look, I trust your style. You can cut it however you think looks good”. Their job is to cut your hair, but more importantly cut it in a way that makes you happy so that you keep coming back. A good barber will listen to you and get you a good haircut that gives you confidence :)
Good luck!
I’ve heard that taking magazines is bad from my hairdressers, because everyone has a different face shape and not every haircut is suited for that. It’s better to figure out what your face shape is and look up online which haircuts go with that.
Something like this: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/400538960585397380/)
Also, look up middle eastern hair cuts from your peers, I descend from that region, so our hair tends to be very different from other people. I found this: https://www.pinterest.com/christopherdru/middle-eastern-cuts/ online, there are some cool haircuts there.
I also found this: https://www.arabianbusiness.com/lifestyle/wellness/the-modern-man-s-guide-grooming-601108 article online.
The most important thing is good hygiene: shower daily/everythime you get sweaty. If you can’t shower one day, the minimum should be washing with a washcloth your face, neck, ears, armpits, boy parts (front and back). It’s mostly the same when you take an abdest before praying.
Brush teeth daily two times a day at the least. Floss if you can or have access to a waterpik, that’s easier.
Clip hand and toenails regularly (once a week) and maybe even shape them with a file.
Use deodorant under armpits (but not too much)
Take care of your skin: moisturize with a good cream, you can never start too young. BUT if you have skin problems, visit a dermatologist first. U can also do a face mask every week, clay masks are really good at getting your skin clean.
Don’t forget to let someone do your eyebrows if you have bushy eyebrows, they shape your face too.
These are all tips from a woman, but hey they are valid for men too I guess.
Also, every time I visit Turkey for example, they have these salons where they do everything: hair, nails, feet, facemasks, waxing, … And it’s very cheap. I loved being pampered for a few hours! There should be something like that in Iran for men too, maybe look around a little (depending on your budget of course).
Good luck and remember you’re a work in progress. Trying out different things is the fun stuff, don’t take it too seriously when something doesn’t work well, it grows out really fast.
Edit: on mobile, so format is off
Not specific to your situation, just a process I recently went through. White female, thick, wavy, unruly hair. For decades, most haircut, style places were white people focused. Most white women have fine, straight hair. These places just didn’t know what to do with me.
Few months back, did research. 2a to 2c hair. Reading stuff online, many people with same hair were black women, sharing tips. So I went to a salon, all black staff and customers. Said, I’m having trouble figuring out what to do with my hair, anyone feel OK educating me?
Nice older black woman said with a smile, come over here white girl, let’s see what we can do. Glad I took a risk. Best haircut, style, ever. She turned me on to a lot of good hair products.
I have the coarse wavy hair too. It is one typical European hair type, not uncommon but when I went to barber school we only learned to handle straight hair and what I think of as Black hair, afros, relaxers, fades. Nothing in between, we were just taught to straighten and then heat curl wavy hair, what the fuck?
Anyway - I haven’t cut hair professionally in decades but go to a Cuban hair salon now and she cuts and leaves it wet, the ‘curly hair special’, lol. I go home, style it and send her a picture.
Just wanted to point out that no, most white women don’t have naturally pin straight hair, they straighten it. And yes, it is an education failure in hair school.
Try to ask the hairdresser to suggest new styles. I trust them with my hair more than i trust myself.
For someone who willingly begins their post with a disclaimer stating their English may not be the best, you have fantastic English imho!
(I would say better than most native speakers I’ve run into. Lol.)
If you don’t know what to tell your barber, the easiest way is to show your barber a picture of the haircut you want.
Here’s a list in order of what I think you should address before deciding your next haircut:
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What’s your hair type? Is it curly? Extra curly? Straight? Does it have too much (or lacks) volume? You can change your hair to some degree (mine is curly and I used to straighten it when I was your age) so have this in mind.
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What’s your personal style? Do you like it short like people in the army or would you like it to be longer? Are you a metalhead, a punk or like the classic pompadour?
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How much time do you want to spend on it every morning? Some styles are much more time consuming to maintain than others.
They’re are all personal questions that you have to answer yourself. Just think about them for a while and decide on what you think is cool. Then walk to a barber shop that you trust and ask the guy to make yours like the photo. If the guy does a bad job then put on a cap and wait for it to grow back haha
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Have you considered learning to cut your own hair? I’ve been doing it for years and it’s saved a ton of time + money. I’ve cut my girlfriend’s hair a couple times too.
Otherwise, look at pictures of hair styles you like and when you pick your favorite, show it to your barber. If they mess up, try a different barber next time.
I’ll also look into that. Thank you.
Not sure if you can get them, but if you can, Wahl makes a good set of clippers.
Try and work out what your face shape is, and look at styles that best complement that.
Do you have any recommendations on how I should work it out? Is there any measurements I need to take? Any websites?
You can do something like this: https://regalgentleman.com/blogs/blog/how-to-find-your-face-shape-for-men
Sometimes just looking in the mirror and seeing what part of your face is the widest or longest can work as well. I have a round face and so style my hair and beard to help elongate my face a little bit more.
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If you trust your barber’s work quality, you can always straight up ask him for input. I told mine I don’t want to deal with styling my hair every day, but would still look fine if shaped. He asked a couple questions on my preferences - clipped and/or faded sides and back, length, integrating the beard or not, etc. Then off he went. I keep going back despite him being a bit more expensive than all options around cause I just don’t have to worry if I’ll like it.
I was wondering the same for myself and here is a video that helped me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gkD2IGG6Hk
The whole channel is excellent if you are looking for tips on how to dress too.
You haven’t told us what kind of hair you have, so it’s impossible to recommend a cut. But given your ethnicity and age, I’m going to assume you have thick, dark, hair. If that’s the case then growing it out is the first step. If you want to be edgy then go for something spikey and layered. Billy Idol has always had badass hair his entire life. Even as an old dude he looks very fashionable. If you go for that type of cut then adding some highlights will give it a lot of depth. If you want something more professional and current then go with a side part with good texturing and length, here’s an example. That example haircut has just about everything a good haircut should have. It’s stylish, layered, well taken care of, and flexible.
Get to know your facial shape and have a cut depending on your shape Fade goes for almost all faceshapes
